INTRODUCTION


Focus on What You Want

You could be getting more of what you want—more new ideas, more teamwork in your department, and a more positive attitude in the company. I believe that people want to succeed in their jobs, in their relationships, and throughout their communities. I believe that people want to build the lives they want and be a part of something productive and positive. Too often, it doesn’t work out that way.

Through my experiences in workplace dynamics, change, and the future, I have learned one overriding truth: You get more of whatever you focus on. Let me repeat: You get more of whatever you focus on. I call it Seeing Red Cars because the metaphor is one that everyone can relate to. Here is the premise:

Say you recently bought your dream car—custom wheels, full chrome bumpers, and it’s red. Driving it home for the first time, you start noticing something. It seems like there are a lot of red cars out there. The next day, what do you notice? There are definitely more red cars on the road. By the end of the first week, you’re thinking, “Is everyone driving a red car?” You’re seeing red cars because that’s what you’re focused on.

Or how about this: It’s every golfer’s nightmare. You’re standing at the signature hole, elevated T to a large green, a short par 3, only 130 yards over water— lots of water. You take out your pitching wedge and stare at the water. You take a last look at your ball and you’re thinking, “Don’t hit it in the water. Don’t hit it in the water!” Finally, you hit the ball. Where does it go? Splat—straight into the water.

One more example to make the point: One of your coworkers is really getting on your nerves. To make matters worse, you keep running into this person in every meeting, in the hallway, at lunch, in the parking lot. You can’t escape.

Who’s putting all these thoughts of “red cars,” “don’t hit it in the water,” and “I can’t get away from this person” into your head? You are, of course. It’s what you’re focused on. And remember what I said: Whether good or bad, you always get more of what you focus on.

Even when someone’s intentions are genuinely positive, their actual behaviors can come across as negative without their knowledge. Here is an example:

Several years ago, I received a call from a client in desperate need of answers (we’ll call him Ted). Ted was managing a high-profile project. The stakes were high, and the project was off track; timelines were slipping, budgets were busting, and the dynamics of the group were strained. He proceeded to describe his observations. Team members were avoiding him at all costs. In meetings, tensions were so high that he didn’t know what was worse: the angry outbursts or the deafening silence that followed. People were blaming others, and without conscious intention, they were coming to meetings late or not at all. Ted was chasing the excuses without success and was at his wit’s end. We decided I would shadow him to see if we could flush out the culprit for the unproductive behaviors.

I followed Ted for a day. I stood next to him through his team one-to-ones and meetings large and small. It didn’t take long to see what was going on. I watched him begin each conversation and meeting with statements like these: “You know, we don’t want to miss this timeline, we don’t want to seem uncooperative, we don’t want to go over budget, we don’t want to fail.” When I share this story, people always ask, “Was he clueless? What was wrong with him?” To this I say, “There was nothing wrong with him. He was doing something that was unconscious. He had the best intentions for the team and the project. He had seen projects fail and was committed to avoiding the pitfalls. He had a laundry list of things he did not want to have happen, and he was quick to make others aware of them. He thought he was being helpful.”

In actuality, his team worked hard. As a result, they had missed family gatherings and their kids’ games and had taken little time to rest and rejuvenate. When Ted began each interaction with a reminder of what he did not want to happen, he inadvertently sucked the energy, motivation, and spirit out of each person.

I talked to Ted about the Seeing Red Cars mind-set: Focus on what you do want to happen. Once he became aware, he suddenly got it. He met with each team member to share his learning. The discussion was telling, as they described how his focus had made them feel frustrated, unappreciated, and unmotivated.

Together, Ted and his team members wrote personal and project “I want” statements (an intentional action step from Seeing Red Cars). He coached the team to share their “I want” statements, the status of each, and their strategy for moving the project along in one-to-one and project meetings. Team members were asked to align their professional “I want” statements with those of the project, and before long, they were back on track, working collaboratively, and producing the daily, weekly, and monthly actions needed to succeed.

As they adopted a positive-outcomes mind-set at both the individual and team levels, it eventually spread to other areas of the company and affected the division’s overall performance.