11 Forms of Address
My name is Yuan. As a student in Taiwan for the first ten years of my school life,I learned to respect
teachers. I was taught that it is not respectful to call teachers by their name, that they should always be addressed by the title “Teacher”.
Seven years ago, when I moved to the United States, I entered an ESL class in a local high school. The students kept calling the teacher “Miss White”. I felt that they were being disrespectful, but because of my problems with English, I couldn't ask them about it.
Time passed. I found that often when I asked questions, Miss White seemed annoyed and said something, but I was not able to understand what she said. I wondered if I had done something that was not respectful or if somehow I hadn't been a good student. Finally, one day when I raised my hand and said, “Excuse me, Teacher..., ”Miss White interrupted me before I could finish my question. With a not-so-happy face, she said, “Teacher is my title at work. Teacher is not my name. My name is Miss White.”
Now I was completely confused. Why would she want me to call her by her name? Why would she get so upset when I was trying to be respectful? I wanted to ask her the reason but my English was still not good enough.
I was angry and sad for a few days, until my uncle returned from Taiwan. I asked him, “Why do people get upset simply because I am trying to respect them? ” He asked me to tell him the whole story. I told him what happened in school. He told me that what was right back in Taiwan was not necessarily proper here in the United States. He also told me that I should not be sad and that I should try to understand what is done here and avoid making the same mistakes.
After the incident, when I'm not sure what to do, I observe other people and do things the way they do them. Even though this sometimes makes me feel that I am not being myself, it helps me avoid a lot of cultural difficulties. Of course, now I am also able to ask people questions. As I learn more, life here becomes much more interesting and enjoyable.