第7章 Fundamental Techniques…(7)

Schwab says that he was paid this salary largely because of hisability to deal with people. I asked him how he did it. Here is his secret set down in his own words—words that ought to be cast ineternal bronze and hung in every home and school, every shopand office in the land—words that will all but transform your lifeand mine if we will only live them：“I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among mypeople," said Schwab,"the greatest asset I possess, and the wayto develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation andencouragement.

“There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a personas criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believein giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praisebut loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in myapprobation and lavish in my praise. "

That is what Schwab did. But what do average people do?

The exact opposite. If they don't like a thing, they bawl out theirsubordinates; if they do like it, they say nothing. As the oldcouplet says："Once I did bad and that I heard ever/Twice I didgood, but that I heard never."

“In my wide association in life, meeting with many and greatpeople in various parts of the world," Schwab declared,"I haveyet to find the person, however great or exalted his station, whodid not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spiritof approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism."

That he said, frankly, was one of the outstanding reasons forthe phenomenal success of Andrew Carnegie. Carnegie praisedhis associates publicly as well as privately. Carnegie wanted topraise his assistants even on his tombstone. He wrote an epitaphfor himself which read："Here lies one who knew how to getaround him men who were cleverer than himself."

Sincere appreciation was one of the secrets of the first John D.Rockefeller's success in handling men. For example, when one of his partners, Edward T. Bedford, lost a million dollars for the firmby a bad buy in South America, John D. might have criticized; buthe knew Bedford had done his best—and the incident was closed.

So Rockefeller found something to praise; he congratulatedBedford because he had been able to save 60 percent of themoney he had invested."That's splendid," said Rockefeller."Wedon't always do as well as that upstairs."

I have among my clippings a story that I know never happened,but it illustrates a truth, so I'll repeat it：According to this silly story, a farm woman, at the end of aheavy day's work, set before her menfolks a heaping pile of hay.

And when they indignantly demanded whether she had gonecrazy, she replied："Why, how did I know you'd notice? I've beencooking for you men for the last twenty years and in all that timeI ain't heard no word to let me know you wasn't just eating hay."

When a study was made a few years ago on runaway wives,what do you think was discovered to be the main reason wivesran away? It was"lack of appreciation."

And I'd bet that a similar study made of runaway husbandswould come out the same way. We often take our spouses so muchfor granted that we never let them know we appreciate them.

A member of one of our classes told of a request made byhis wife. She and a group of other women in her church wereinvolved in a self-improvement program. She asked her husbandto help her by listing six things he believed she could do tohelp her become a better wife. He reported to the class："I wassurprised by such a request. Frankly, it would have been easyfor me to list six things I would like to change about her—myheavens, she could have listed a thousand things she would like tochange about me—but I didn't. I said to her, ‘Let me think aboutit and give you an answer in the morning.'

“The next morning I got up very early and called the floristand had them send six red roses to my wife with a note saying： ‘Ican't think of six things I would like to change about you. I loveyou the way you are.'

“When I arrived at home that evening, who do you thinkgreeted me at the door： That's right. My wife！ She was almost intears. Needless to say, I was extremely glad I had not criticizedher as she had requested.

“The following Sunday at church, after she had reportedthe results of her assignment, several women with whom shehad been studying came up to me and said, ‘That was the mostconsiderate thing I have ever heard.' It was then I realized thepower of appreciation."

Florenz Ziegfeld, the most spectacular producer who everdazzled Broadway, gained his reputation by his subtle ability to“glorify the American girl." Time after time, he took drab littlecreatures that no one ever looked at twice and transformed themon the stage into glamorous visions of mystery and seduction.

Knowing the value of appreciation and confidence, he madewomen feel beautiful by the sheer power of his gallantry andconsideration. He was practical： he raised the salary of chorusgirls from thirty dollars a week to as high as one hundred andseventy-five. And he was also chivalrous; on opening night at theFollies, he sent telegrams to the stars in the cast, and he delugedevery chorus girl in the show with American Beauty roses.

I once succumbed to the fad of fasting and went for six daysand nights without eating. It wasn't difficult. I was less hungry atthe end of the sixth day than I was at the end of the second. Yet Iknow, as you know, people who would think they had committeda crime if they let their families or employees go for six dayswithout food; but they will let them go for six days, and six weeks, and sometimes sixty years without giving them the heartyappreciation that they crave almost as much as they crave food.

We nourish the bodies of our children and friends andemployees, but how seldom do we nourish their self-esteem? Weprovide them with roast beef and potatoes to build energy, but weneglect to give them kind words of appreciation that would singin their memories for years like the music of the morning stars.