第8章

Ere the half-hour ended, five o'clock struck; school was dismissed, and all were gone into the refectory to tea. I now ventured to descend: it was deep dusk; I retired into a corner and sat down on the floor. The spell by which I had been so far supported began to dissolve; reaction took place, and soon, so overwhelming was the grief that seized me, I sank prostrate with my face to the ground. Now I wept: Helen Burns was not here;nothing sustained me; left to myself I abandoned myself, and my tears watered the boards. I had meant to be so good, and to do so much at Lowood: to make so many friends, to earn respect and win affection. Already I had made visible progress: that very morning I had reached the head of my class; Miss Miller had praised me warmly; Miss Temple had smiled approbation; she had promised to teach me drawing, and to let me learn French, if I continued to make similar improvement two months longer: and then I was well received by my fellow-pupils; treated as an equal by those of my own age, and not molested by any; now, here I lay again crushed and trodden on; and could I ever rise more?

“Never,”I thought; and ardently I wished to die. While sobbing out this wish in broken accents, some one approached: I started up-again Helen Burns was near me; the fading fires just showed her coming up the long, vacant room; she brought my coffee and bread.

“Come, eat something,”she said; but I put both away from me, feeling as if a drop or a crumb would have choked me in my present condition. Helen regarded me, probably with surprise: I could not now abate my agitation, though I tried hard; I continued to weep aloud. She sat down on the ground near me, embraced her knees with her arms, and rested her head upon them; in that attitude she remained silent as an Indian. I was the first who spoke-

“Helen, why do you stay with a girl whom everybody believes to be a liar?”

“Everybody, Jane? Why, there are only eighty people who have heard you called so, and the world contains hundreds of millions.”

“But what have I to do with millions? The eighty, I know, despise me.”

“Jane, you are mistaken: probably not one in the school either despises or dislikes you:many, I am sure, pity you much.”

“How can they pity me after what Mr. Brocklehurst has said?”

“Mr. Brocklehurst is not a god: nor is he even a great and admired man: he is little liked here; he never took steps to make himself liked. Had he treated you as an especial favourite, you would have found enemies, declared or covert, all around you; as it is, the greater number would offer you sympathy if they dared. Teachers and pupils may look coldly on you for a day or two, but friendly feelings are concealed in their hearts;and if you persevere in doing well, these feelings will ere long appear so much the more evidently for their temporary suppression. Besides, Jane”—she paused.

“Well, Helen?”said I, putting my hand into hers: she chafed my fingers gently to warm them, and went on-

“If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends.”

“No; I know I should think well of myself; but that is not enough: if others don't love me I would rather die than live—I cannot bear to be solitary and hated, Helen. Look here;to gain some real affection from you, or Miss Temple, or any other whom I truly love, I would willingly submit to have the bone of my arm broken, or to let a bull toss me, or to stand behind a kicking horse, and let it dash its hoof at my chest—”

“Hush, Jane! you think too much of the love of human beings; you are too impulsive, too vehement; the sovereign hand that created your frame, and put life into it, has provided you with other resources than your feeble self, or than creatures feeble as you. Besides this earth, and besides the race of men, there is an invisible world and a kingdom of spirits: that world is round us, for it is everywhere; and those spirits watch us, for they are commissioned to guard us; and if we were dying in pain and shame, if scorn smote us on all sides, and hatred crushed us, angels see our tortures, recognise our innocence (if innocent we be: as I know you are of this charge which Mr. Brocklehurst has weakly and pompously repeated at second-hand from Mrs. Reed; for I read a sincere nature in your ardent eyes and on your clear front), and God waits only the separation of spirit from flesh to crown us with a full reward. Why, then, should we ever sink overwhelmed with distress, when life is so soon over, and death is so certain an entrance to happiness-to glory?”

I was silent; Helen had calmed me; but in the tranquillity she imparted there was an alloy of inexpressible sadness. I felt the impression of woe as she spoke, but I could not tell whence it came; and when, having done speaking, she breathed a little fast and coughed a short cough, I momentarily forgot my own sorrows to yield to a vague concern for her.

Resting my head on Helen's shoulder, I put my arms round her waist; she drew me to her, and we reposed in silence. We had not sat long thus, when another person came in. Some heavy clouds, swept from the sky by a rising wind, had left the moon bare; and her light, streaming in through a window near, shone full both on us and on the approaching figure, which we at once recognised as Miss Temple.

“I came on purpose to find you, Jane Eyre,”said she;“I want you in my room; and as Helen Burns is with you, she may come too.”

We went; following the superintendent's guidance, we had to thread some intricate passages, and mount a staircase before we reached her apartment; it contained a good fire, and looked cheerful. Miss Temple told Helen Burns to be seated in a low arm-chair on one side of the hearth, and herself taking another, she called me to her side.

“Is it all over?”she asked, looking down at my face.“Have you cried your grief away?”

“I am afraid I never shall do that.”

“Why?”

“Because I have been wrongly accused; and you, ma'am, and everybody else, will now think me wicked.”

“We shall think you what you prove yourself to be, my child. Continue to act as a good girl, and you will satisfy us.”

“Shall I, Miss Temple?”

“You will,”said she, passing her arm round me.“And now tell me who is the lady whom Mr. Brocklehurst called your benefactress?”

“Mrs. Reed, my uncle's wife. My uncle is dead, and he left me to her care.”

“Did she not, then, adopt you of her own accord?”

“No, ma'am; she was sorry to have to do it: but my uncle, as I have often heard the servants say, got her to promise before he died that she would always keep me.”

“Well now, Jane, you know, or at least I will tell you, that when a criminal is accused, he is always allowed to speak in his own defence. You have been charged with falsehood;defend yourself to me as well as you can. Say whatever your memory suggests is true; but add nothing and exaggerate nothing.”

I resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would be most moderate-most correct; and,having reflected a few minutes in order to arrange coherently what I had to say, I told her all the story of my sad childhood. Exhausted by emotion, my language was more subdued than it generally was when it developed that sad theme; and mindful of Helen's warnings against the indulgence of resentment, I infused into the narrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary. Thus restrained and simplified, it sounded more credible: I felt as I went on that Miss Temple fully believed me.

In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr. Lloyd as having come to see me after the fit: for I never forgot the, to me, frightful episode of the red-room: in detailing which, my excitement was sure, in some degree, to break bounds; for nothing could soften in my recollection the spasm of agony which clutched my heart when Mrs. Reed spurned my wild supplication for pardon, and locked me a second time in the dark and haunted chamber.

I had finished: Miss Temple regarded me a few minutes in silence; she then said-

“I know something of Mr. Lloyd; I shall write to him; if his reply agrees with your statement, you shall be publicly cleared from every imputation; to me, Jane, you are clear now.”

She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side (where I was well contented to stand, for I derived a child's pleasure from the contemplation of her face, her dress, her one or two ornaments, her white forehead, her clustered and shining curls, and beaming dark eyes), she proceeded to address Helen Burns.

“How are you to-night, Helen? Have you coughed much to-day?”

“Not quite so much, I think, ma'am.”

“And the pain in your chest?”

“It is a little better.”

Miss Temple got up, took her hand and examined her pulse; then she returned to her own seat: as she resumed it, I heard her sigh low. She was pensive a few minutes, then rousing herself, she said cheerfully-

“But you two are my visitors to-night; I must treat you as such.”She rang her bell.

“Barbara,”she said to the servant who answered it,“I have not yet had tea; bring the tray and place cups for these two young ladies.”

And a tray was soon brought. How pretty, to my eyes, did the china cups and bright teapot look, placed on the little round table near the fire! How fragrant was the steam of the beverage, and the scent of the toast! of which, however, I, to my dismay (for I was beginning to be hungry) discerned only a very small portion: Miss Temple discerned it too.

“Barbara,”said she,“can you not bring a little more bread and butter? There is not enough for three.”

Barbara went out: she returned soon-

“Madam, Mrs. Harden says she has sent up the usual quantity.”

Mrs. Harden, be it observed, was the housekeeper: a woman after Mr. Brocklehurst's own heart, made up of equal parts of whalebone and iron.

“Oh, very well!”returned Miss Temple;“we must make it do, Barbara, I suppose.”And as the girl withdrew she added, smiling,“Fortunately, I have it in my power to supply deficiencies for this once.”

Having invited Helen and me to approach the table, and placed before each of us a cup of tea with one delicious but thin morsel of toast, she got up, unlocked a drawer, and taking from it a parcel wrapped in paper, disclosed presently to our eyes a good-sized seed-cake.

“I meant to give each of you some of this to take with you,”said she,“but as there is so little toast, you must have it now,”and she proceeded to cut slices with a generous hand.

We feasted that evening as on nectar and ambrosia; and not the least delight of the entertainment was the smile of gratification with which our hostess regarded us, as we satisfied our famished appetites on the delicate fare she liberally supplied.

Tea over and the tray removed, she again summoned us to the fire; we sat one on each side of her, and now a conversation followed between her and Helen, which it was indeed a privilege to be admitted to hear.

Miss Temple had always something of serenity in her air, of state in her mien, of refined propriety in her language, which precluded deviation into the ardent, the excited, the eager: something which chastened the pleasure of those who looked on her and listened to her, by a controlling sense of awe; and such was my feeling now: but as to Helen Burns, I was struck with wonder.

The refreshing meal, the brilliant fire, the presence and kindness of her beloved instructress, or, perhaps, more than all these, something in her own unique mind, had roused her powers within her. They woke, they kindled: first, they glowed in the bright tint of her cheek, which till this hour I had never seen but pale and bloodless; then they shone in the liquid lustre of her eyes, which had suddenly acquired a beauty more singular than that of Miss Temple's-a beauty neither of fine colour nor long eyelash, nor pencilled brow, but of meaning, of movement, of radiance. Then her soul sat on her lips, and language flowed, from what source I cannot tell. Has a girl of fourteen a heart large enough, vigorous enough, to hold the swelling spring of pure, full, fervid eloquence? Such was the characteristic of Helen's discourse on that, to me, memorable evening; her spirit seemed hastening to live within a very brief span as much as many live during a protracted existence.

They conversed of things I had never heard of; of nations and times past; of countries far away; of secrets of nature discovered or guessed at: they spoke of books: how many they had read! What stores of knowledge they possessed! Then they seemed so familiar with French names and French authors: but my amazement reached its climax when Miss Temple asked Helen if she sometimes snatched a moment to recall the Latin her father had taught her, and taking a book from a shelf, bade her read and construe a page of Virgil; and Helen obeyed, my organ of veneration expanding at every sounding line. She had scarcely finished ere the bell announced bedtime! no delay could be admitted; Miss Temple embraced us both, saying, as she drew us to her heart-

“God bless you, my children!”

Helen she held a little longer than me: she let her go more reluctantly; it was Helen her eye followed to the door; it was for her she a second time breathed a sad sigh; for her she wiped a tear from her cheek.

On reaching the bedroom, we heard the voice of Miss Scatcherd: she was examining drawers; she had just pulled out Helen Burns's, and when we entered Helen was greeted with a sharp reprimand, and told that to-morrow she should have half-a-dozen of untidily folded articles pinned to her shoulder.

“My things were indeed in shameful disorder,”murmured Helen to me, in a low voice:“I intended to have arranged them, but I forgot.”

Next morning, Miss Scatcherd wrote in conspicuous characters on a piece of pasteboard the word“Slattern,”and bound it like a phylactery round Helen's large, mild, intelligent, and benign-looking forehead. She wore it till evening, patient, unresentful, regarding it as a deserved punishment. The moment Miss Scatcherd withdrew after afternoon school, I ran to Helen, tore it off, and thrust it into the fire: the fury of which she was incapable had been burning in my soul all day, and tears, hot and large, had continually been scalding my cheek; for the spectacle of her sad resignation gave me an intolerable pain at the heart.

About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated, Miss Temple, who had written to Mr. Lloyd, received his answer: it appeared that what he said went to corroborate my account. Miss Temple, having assembled the whole school, announced that inquiry had been made into the charges alleged against Jane Eyre, and that she was most happy to be able to pronounce her completely cleared from every imputation. The teachers then shook hands with me and kissed me, and a murmur of pleasure ran through the ranks of my companions.

Thus relieved of a grievous load, I from that hour set to work afresh, resolved to pioneer my way through every difficulty: I toiled hard, and my success was proportionate to my efforts; my memory, not naturally tenacious, improved with practice; exercise sharpened my wits; in a few weeks I was promoted to a higher class; in less than two months I was allowed to commence French and drawing. I learned the first two tenses of the verb Etre, and sketched my first cottage (whose walls, by-the-bye, outrivalled in slope those of the leaning tower of Pisa), on the same day. That night, on going to bed, I forgot to prepare in imagination the Barmecide supper of hot roast potatoes, or white bread and new milk, with which I was wont to amuse my inward cravings: I feasted instead on the spectacle of ideal drawings, which I saw in the dark; all the work of my own hands: freely pencilled houses and trees, picturesque rocks and ruins, Cuyp-like groups of cattle, sweet paintings of butterflies hovering over unblown roses, of birds picking at ripe cherries, of wren's nests enclosing pearl-like eggs, wreathed about with young ivy sprays. I examined, too, in thought, the possibility of my ever being able to translate currently a certain little French story which Madame Pierrot had that day shown me; nor was that problem solved to my satisfaction ere I fell sweetly asleep.

Well has Solomon said—“Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.”

I would not now have exchanged Lowood with all its privations for Gateshead and its daily luxuries.

半小时还没到，就敲响了五点钟，学校下课，大家都进食堂吃茶点去了。这时，我才斗胆下来。暮色沉沉，我退到一个角落，在地板上坐下来。那股曾经支撑我的魔力开始消失，产生了反作用，不久，势不可挡的悲痛攫住了我，我俯面扑倒在地。此刻，我哭了起来。海伦·彭斯不在这儿，没有什么支撑我。我独自相处，放任自我，眼泪把地板都打湿了。我曾打算在洛伍德表现出色，多做事儿，多交朋友，得到尊重，赢得友爱。我已经取得了明显的进步。就在那天早上，我已经在班里名列前茅，米勒小姐热情表扬我，坦普尔小姐微笑赞许，答应教我绘画，让我学法文，只要我在下面两个月继续取得同样的进步。此外，我也很受同学们的欢迎，受到同龄人的平等相待，不再受任何人捉弄。此时此刻，我却又被打倒在地，任人践踏。我还能再次站起吗？

“永远不会了，”我想，一心想死。我正泣不成声诉说这个心愿时，有人走了过来。我惊跳起来——走近我的又是海伦·彭斯。渐渐熄灭的炉火刚好照着她走过这个空荡荡的长屋。她给我端来了咖啡和面包。

“来，吃些东西。”她说。但是，我从面前推开了咖啡和面包，感觉好像目前的状态一滴咖啡或一口面包就会噎住我。海伦凝视着我，也许非常吃惊。我尽管在想方设法，但却无法减轻内心的激动，继续号啕大哭。她在我身边的地上坐下来，两臂抱住膝盖，头靠在膝上，像一个印第安人一样坐在那儿一声不吭。我首先开口说话——

“海伦，你为什么跟一个人人都相信是撒谎者的女孩待在一起？”

“人人，简？哎呀，只有八十个人听到他这样说你，而世界上有几亿人。”

“可是，我跟几亿人有什么关系？我知道这八十个人都看不起我。”

“简，你错了，可能学校里没有一个人看不起你或不喜欢你。我敢说，好多人都非常同情你。”

“布罗克赫斯特先生说过那些话后，她们怎么能同情我呢？”

“布罗克赫斯特先生不是上帝，甚至也不是一个值得钦佩的大人物。这儿的人不大喜欢他，他从来没有尽力做过什么事儿让人喜欢。要是他把你看成他特别喜欢的人，你就会发现四周都是仇人，无论是明的还是暗的。实际上，大多数人要是胆大，就会同情你。师生们可能会冷淡你一两天，但友好的感情都隐藏在她们的心里，要是你坚持好好表现，不久，这些感情就会因暂时的压抑更加明显地显露出来。再说，简，”——她欲言又止。

“怎么了，海伦？”说着，我把一只手放进她的手里。她轻轻地揉搓我的手指，让它们暖和起来，然后说道——

“就是全世界的人都不喜欢你，都相信你坏，只要你自己问心无愧，相信自己无罪，你就不会没有朋友。”

“不，我知道我自我感觉良好，但这还不够。要是别人不爱我，那我与其活着还不如死去——我受不了孤独和别人的反感，海伦。听我说，为了从你那儿，从坦普尔小姐那儿，或者从任何一个我真正热爱的人那儿得到真爱，我会心甘情愿地忍受胳膊骨被折断，让一头公牛把我突然抛起，或者站在一匹尥蹶的马后面，让马蹄飞踢向我的胸膛——”

“嘘，简！你太看重人类的爱了，你太冲动、太激烈了。一只至高无上的手创造了你的躯体，并注入了生命，除了创造你脆弱的自身或像你一样脆弱的创造物之外，还给你提供了其他资源。在这个地球之外，在人类之外，还有一个无形世界和一个精灵王国。这个世界包围着我们，因为它无所不在。那些精灵注视着我们，因为它们奉命守护我们。要是我们在痛苦和耻辱中死去，要是蔑视从四面八方击败我们，仇恨压垮我们，天使们就会看到我们遭受的折磨，认识到我们的清白（要是我们清白，我就知道你受到了这种指控，布罗克赫斯特先生软弱浮夸地重复了从里德太太那儿间接听到的指控，因为我从你热情的眼睛里和你透亮的前额上看到了诚实的本性），上帝只是等待灵魂与肉体分离，以充分的奖赏表彰我们。那么，当生命这么快地结束，死亡肯定成为幸福和荣耀的入口时，我们为什么还要因忧伤而消沉呢？”

我默不作声，海伦已经使我平静了下来，但是，在她给予的宁静中，有一种难以言表的悲哀。她说话时我感受到了这种悲哀，但我说不清它从何而来。说完话后，她喘气有点儿快，短暂地咳嗽了一下，我立刻忘记了自己的伤心事儿，隐隐约约地为她担心。

我把头靠在海伦的肩上，两只胳膊搂住她的腰，她把我拉到身边，我们默默地依偎。我们这样坐了没多久，这时另一个人走了进来。一阵风起，卷走了天上的几块厚云，露出了月亮，月光溪流般泻进旁边的一扇窗户，完全照在了我们俩身上，也照在了那个走近的人身上。我们马上认出是坦普尔小姐。

“简·爱，我特意来找你，”她说，“我要你到我的屋里去。既然海伦·彭斯跟你在一起，那她也可以来。”

我们去了。我们由校长领着穿过几个错综复杂的走廊，爬上一道楼梯，然后才来到了她的房间。房间有一炉旺火，看上去喜气洋洋。坦普尔小姐吩咐海伦·彭斯坐在火炉一侧低矮的扶手椅上，她自己在另一把扶手椅上坐下，把我叫到她的身边。

“全都结束了吗？”她低头看着我的脸问道，“你已经哭掉自己的悲伤了吗？”

“我怕我永远做不到。”

“为什么？”

“因为我受到了冤枉。小姐，你，还有其他每个人，现在都会认为我很坏。”

“你证明自己是什么人，我们就会认为你是什么人，我的孩子。继续做一个好姑娘吧，你会让我们满意的。”

“我会吗，坦普尔小姐？”

“你会的，”她一只胳膊搂住我说，“现在告诉我，布罗克赫斯特先生所称的你那位女恩人是谁？”

“里德太太，我的舅妈。我的舅舅去世了，他把我托给她照管。”

“这么说，她不是自愿收养你？”

“是的，小姐。她很遗憾不得不这样做。可是，我经常听用人们说，我的舅舅临死时要她许诺要永远抚养我。”

“简，现在好了，你知道，或者至少我会告诉你，当一个犯人受到控告时，总是允许他为自己辩护。你被控告撒谎，那你就尽量向我为自己辩护吧。要把你记忆的情况如实说出来，但不要添枝加叶、夸大其词。”

我暗下决心，要说得恰到好处——准确无误。我细想了几分钟，以便理清头绪，然后对她讲述了我悲惨童年的全部经历。我激动得要死，谈到这个伤心话题时，我说话比往常更低沉。我铭记海伦的告诫，不要沉溺于怨恨，叙述时添加的令人憎恨的事儿比往常少得多，因此克制简洁，听上去更加可信。我感到，我接着向下说时，坦普尔小姐完全相信我。

在讲述的过程中，我提到，我昏倒后，劳埃德先生曾来看过我，因为对我来说，我永远不会忘记红屋的可怕一幕。在详细诉说时，我肯定有些激动出格，因为当里德太太唾弃我的拼命求饶，把我第二次锁进那个闹鬼的黑屋时，任何东西都无法缓和记忆中那一阵阵揪心的痛苦。

我说完后，坦普尔小姐默默地打量了我几分钟，然后说道——

“我对劳埃德先生有些了解，我要给他写一封信，要是他的回信跟你说的一致，那就要当众洗清你的每项罪名。简，对我来说，你现在就是清白的。”

她吻了吻我，仍然让我待在她的身边（我非常安心地站在那儿，因为我注视她的脸庞、她的衣服、她的一两件装饰品、她白皙的额头、她的一簇簇闪亮的鬈发和乌黑发亮的眼睛时，得到了一种孩子般的喜悦），她开始对海伦·彭斯说话。

“你今天晚上怎么样，海伦？你今天咳嗽厉害吗？”

“我想不太厉害，小姐。”

“你的胸部还疼吗？”

“好点儿了。”

坦普尔小姐站起来，拉住她的手，查了查脉搏，然后回到了自己的座位上。她坐好时，我听到她低声叹了口气。她沉思了几分钟，随后振作精神，神情愉快地说道——

“可是，今天晚上你们俩是我的客人，我必须像款待客人那样款待他们。”她拉了一下铃。

“芭芭拉，”她对应声前来的女仆说，“我还没吃过茶点，把茶盘端来，给这两位年轻女士放两只杯子。”

茶盘很快就端来了。在我看来，这些放在火炉边小圆桌上的瓷杯和锃亮的茶壶是多么漂亮！饮料的热气和烤面包的味道是多么香！然而，让我沮丧的是（因为我开始感觉饿了），我发现只有非常小的一份。坦普尔小姐也注意到了。

“芭芭拉，”她说，“你不能再多拿点面包和黄油吗？这不够三个人吃。”

芭芭拉走了出去。她很快就回来了——

“小姐，哈登太太说已经送来了往常的分量。”

需要说一下，哈登太太是管家。这个女人很对布罗克赫斯特先生的心思，两个人的心都是鲸骨和铁做的。

“噢，很好！”坦普尔小姐答道，“我想我们必须将就了，芭芭拉。”等这个女孩一走，她就微笑着补充说，“幸好，我自己还能弥补这次的不足。”

她请我和海伦坐到桌子近前，在我们每人面前放了一杯茶、一片美味可口却又薄得可怜的烤面包，她起身打开一只抽屉，从中取出一个纸包，一个相当大的果子饼马上呈现在我们的眼前。

“我本来想让你们每人带一些回去吃，”她说，“但因为烤面包如此少，所以你们必须现在就吃。”说着，她慷慨地把果子饼切成了几片。

那天晚上，我们像享受山珍海味一样美餐了一顿。我们的女主人慷慨提供的美食满足了我们的辘辘饥肠，她望着我们时面带的满意微笑同样是愉快的享受。

吃完茶点、端走托盘之后，她又把我们召到炉火边。我们一边一个坐在她的身边，现在她和海伦开始了谈话，我能被允许旁听真是优待。

坦普尔小姐总是神态安详庄重，言辞文雅得体，这使她不会陷入狂热、兴奋和急切的状态，也使看着她和倾听她的人生出一种敬畏之心抑制喜悦之情，这就是我现在的感觉。不过，至于海伦·彭斯，我却大为惊讶。

提振精神的茶点、熊熊燃烧的炉火、敬爱老师的风采和善意，也许不止这一切，而是她自己独特的头脑里的某个东西已经唤醒了她内心的种种力量。这些力量醒来，被点燃，在总是苍白、没有血色，现在却在容光焕发的脸上闪耀，随后在她清澈亮泽的眼睛里闪耀。这双眼睛突然获得了一种比坦普尔小姐的眼睛更独特的美——没有漂亮的色彩，没有长长的睫毛，也没有眉笔描过的眉毛，但意味深长，具有动感，光芒四射。接着，她心口合一，言辞流畅，我说不清这些话从何而来。一个十四岁的女孩有如此宽大、如此活跃的心胸，装得下这纯洁、丰沛、炽热的雄辩涌泉吗？这就是那个使我难忘之夜海伦谈话的特色。她的心灵好像急着要在非常短暂的时间段过得跟好多长期苟活的人一样充实。

她们谈到了我从来没有听说过的一些事儿，谈到了过去的民族和时代，谈到了遥远的国度，谈到了被发现或猜到的自然奥秘。她们还谈到了书，她们看过的书真多啊！她们拥有的知识储备真多啊！随后，她们好像对法国人名和法国作者非常熟悉。但最让我惊讶的是，坦普尔小姐问海伦是不是抽空温习了她的爸爸教她的拉丁文，并从书架上拿了一本书，吩咐她朗读和解析维吉尔的一页书，海伦就听从了吩咐。每听一行朗朗上口的诗句，我就对她越发肃然起敬。她还没读完，上床铃就响了！不允许有任何拖延了。坦普尔小姐拥抱我们俩，一边把我们搂到怀里，一边说道——

“上帝保佑你们，我的孩子们！”

她拥抱海伦比拥抱我长点儿，更不愿放她走，她目送海伦到门边。为了海伦，她又一次伤心地叹了口气；为了海伦，她从脸颊上抹去了一滴泪水。

到了寝室，我们听到了斯堪切德小姐的声音，她正在检查抽屉。她刚好把海伦·彭斯的抽屉拽出来。我们进来时，海伦迎面挨了一顿严厉的训斥。她吩咐说，海伦明天要把六件叠得凌乱的东西别在她的肩上。

“我的东西乱七八糟，真丢人，”海伦低声对我说，“我本来想收拾，但我忘了。”

第二天早上，斯堪切德小姐在一块纸板上写了两个醒目的字“邋遢”，并像护符一样把它系在海伦宽大、温和、聪颖、和善的额头上。她耐心地戴着它，无怨无悔，把这看成是一种应得的惩罚，一直戴到了晚上。下午放学后，斯堪切德小姐一离开，我就跑到海伦的身边，一把拽掉了纸板，把它扔进了火里。她不会有的火气一整天都一直在我的心里燃烧，大滴大滴的热泪一直不断烧灼着我的脸颊，因为她伤心顺从的样子使我心里痛苦难耐。

上述事件之后大约一星期，坦普尔小姐写给劳埃德先生的信有了回复。看来他在信里说的进一步证实了我的叙述。坦普尔小姐召集全校师生，宣布已经对简·爱受到的指责进行了调查，而且她能够非常高兴地声明，对简·爱的一切非难都已经彻底澄清。老师们随后跟我握手，亲吻我，一阵愉快的低语声传遍了我的同伴队伍。

这样，我就卸下了一个痛苦的包袱，决心从那个时刻起开始努力，开拓前进，排除各种困难。我拼命工作，经过种种努力，获得相应的成功。我的记忆力不是天生就强，但经过练习会有提高，练习使我更加才思敏捷，几星期后，我被升到了高年级班；不到两个月，我被允许开始学习法语和绘画，我学会了动词Etre的前两种时态，而且同一天画了第一幅村舍素描（顺便说一下，屋子墙壁的倾斜度胜过比萨斜塔）。那天夜里，上床睡觉时，我忘了在遐想中准备有热烤土豆、白面包和新鲜牛奶的巴梅塞晚饭，我往常都是用这来解馋的。我在黑暗中见到的理想画面成了我的大餐，所有的画作都是我亲手画的，有自由描绘的房屋和树木铅笔画；有生动别致的岩石和废墟；有克伊普般的牛群；有各种可爱的绘画——蝴蝶在含苞待放的玫瑰上盘旋，小鸟啄着成熟的樱桃，藏着珍珠般鸟蛋的鹪鹩窝，周围绕着一圈鲜嫩的常春藤。我也在思想里反省了一下，看是不是能流畅地翻译皮耶罗太太那天给我看的一篇法文小故事。这个问题还没有满意解决，我就进入了甜蜜的梦乡。

所罗门说得好——“有爱的地方，就是吃牧草，也比吃肥牛彼此相恨强。”

我现在绝不会以洛伍德的种种贫困换取盖茨黑德府和它每天的奢华。