第6章

The next day commenced as before, getting up and dressing by rushlight; but this morning we were obliged to dispense with the ceremony of washing; the water in the pitchers was frozen. A change had taken place in the weather the preceding evening, and a keen north-east wind, whistling through the crevices of our bedroom windows all night long, had made us shiver in our beds, and turned the contents of the ewers to ice.

Before the long hour and a half of prayers and Bible-reading was over, I felt ready to perish with cold. Breakfast-time came at last, and this morning the porridge was not burnt;the quality was eatable, the quantity small. How small my portion seemed! I wished it had been doubled.

In the course of the day I was enrolled a member of the fourth class, and regular tasks and occupations were assigned me: hitherto, I had only been a spectator of the proceedings at Lowood; I was now to become an actor therein. At first, being little accustomed to learn by heart, the lessons appeared to me both long and difficult; the frequent change from task to task, too, bewildered me; and I was glad when, about three o'clock in the afternoon, Miss Smith put into my hands a border of muslin two yards long, together with needle, thimble, &c., and sent me to sit in a quiet corner of the schoolroom, with directions to hem the same. At that hour most of the others were sewing likewise; but one class still stood round Miss Scatcherd's chair reading, and as all was quiet, the subject of their lessons could be heard, together with the manner in which each girl acquitted herself, and the animadversions or commendations of Miss Scatcherd on the performance. It was English history: among the readers I observed my acquaintance of the verandah: at the commencement of the lesson, her place had been at the top of the class, but for some error of pronunciation, or some inattention to stops, she was suddenly sent to the very bottom. Even in that obscure position, Miss Scatcherd continued to make her an object of constant notice: she was continually addressing to her such phrases as the following:-

“Burns”(such it seems was her name: the girls here were all called by their surnames, as boys are elsewhere),“Burns, you are standing on the side of your shoe; turn your toes out immediately.”“Burns, you poke your chin most unpleasantly; draw it in.”“Burns, I insist on your holding your head up; I will not have you before me in that attitude,”&c. &c.

A chapter having been read through twice, the books were closed and the girls examined. The lesson had comprised part of the reign of Charles I., and there were sundry questions about tonnage and poundage and ship-money, which most of them appeared unable to answer; still, every little difficulty was solved instantly when it reached Burns:her memory seemed to have retained the substance of the whole lesson, and she was ready with answers on every point. I kept expecting that Miss Scatcherd would praise her attention; but, instead of that, she suddenly cried out-

“You dirty, disagreeable girl! you have never cleaned your nails this morning!”

Burns made no answer: I wondered at her silence.“Why,”thought I,“does she not explain that she could neither clean her nails nor wash her face, as the water was frozen?”

My attention was now called off by Miss Smith desiring me to hold a skein of thread:while she was winding it, she talked to me from time to time, asking whether I had ever been at school before, whether I could mark, stitch, knit, &c.; till she dismissed me, I could not pursue my observations on Miss Scatcherd's movements. When I returned to my seat, that lady was just delivering an order of which I did not catch the import; but Burns immediately left the class, and going into the small inner room where the books were kept, returned in half a minute, carrying in her hand a bundle of twigs tied together at one end. This ominous tool she presented to Miss Scatcherd with a respectful curtesy;then she quietly, and without being told, unloosed her pinafore, and the teacher instantly and sharply inflicted on her neck a dozen strokes with the bunch of twigs. Not a tear rose to Burns’eye; and, while I paused from my sewing, because my fingers quivered at this spectacle with a sentiment of unavailing and impotent anger, not a feature of her pensive face altered its ordinary expression.

“Hardened girl!”exclaimed Miss Scatcherd;“nothing can correct you of your slatternly habits: carry the rod away.”

Burns obeyed: I looked at her narrowly as she emerged from the book-closet; she was just putting back her handkerchief into her pocket, and the trace of a tear glistened on her thin cheek.

The play-hour in the evening I thought the pleasantest fraction of the day at Lowood:the bit of bread, the draught of coffee swallowed at five o'clock had revived vitality, if it had not satisfied hunger: the long restraint of the day was slackened; the schoolroom felt warmer than in the morning-its fires being allowed to burn a little more brightly, to supply, in some measure, the place of candles, not yet introduced: the ruddy gloaming, the licensed uproar, the confusion of many voices gave one a welcome sense of liberty.

On the evening of the day on which I had seen Miss Scatcherd flog her pupil, Burns, I wandered as usual among the forms and tables and laughing groups without a companion, yet not feeling lonely: when I passed the windows, I now and then lifted a blind, and looked out; it snowed fast, a drift was already forming against the lower panes; putting my ear close to the window, I could distinguish from the gleeful tumult within, the disconsolate moan of the wind outside.

Probably, if I had lately left a good home and kind parents, this would have been the hour when I should most keenly have regretted the separation; that wind would then have saddened my heart; this obscure chaos would have disturbed my peace! as it was, I derived from both a strange excitement, and reckless and feverish, I wished the wind to howl more wildly, the gloom to deepen to darkness, and the confusion to rise to clamour.

Jumping over forms, and creeping under tables, I made my way to one of the fire-places; there, kneeling by the high wire fender, I found Burns, absorbed, silent, abstracted from all round her by the companionship of a book, which she read by the dim glare of the embers.

“Is it still‘Rasselas'?”I asked, coming behind her.

“Yes,”she said,“and I have just finished it.”

And in five minutes more she shut it up. I was glad of this.“Now,”thought I,“I can perhaps get her to talk.”I sat down by her on the floor.

“What is your name besides Burns?”

“Helen.”

“Do you come a long way from here?”

“I come from a place farther north, quite on the borders of Scotland.”

“Will you ever go back?”

“I hope so; but nobody can be sure of the future.”

“You must wish to leave Lowood?”

“No! why should I? I was sent to Lowood to get an education; and it would be of no use going away until I have attained that object.”

“But that teacher, Miss Scatcherd, is so cruel to you?”

“Cruel? Not at all! She is severe: she dislikes my faults.”

“And if I were in your place I should dislike her; I should resist her. If she struck me with that rod, I should get it from her hand; I should break it under her nose.”

“Probably you would do nothing of the sort: but if you did, Mr. Brocklehurst would expel you from the school; that would be a great grief to your relations. It is far better to endure patiently a smart which nobody feels but yourself, than to commit a hasty action whose evil consequences will extend to all connected with you; and besides, the Bible bids us return good for evil.”

“But then it seems disgraceful to be flogged, and to be sent to stand in the middle of a room full of people; and you are such a great girl: I am far younger than you, and I could not bear it.”

“Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not avoid it: it is weak and silly to say you cannot bear what it is your fate to be required to bear.”

I heard her with wonder: I could not comprehend this doctrine of endurance; and still less could I understand or sympathise with the forbearance she expressed for her chastiser. Still I felt that Helen Burns considered things by a light invisible to my eyes. I suspected she might be right and I wrong; but I would not ponder the matter deeply; like Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season.

“You say you have faults, Helen: what are they? To me you seem very good.”

“Then learn from me, not to judge by appearances: I am, as Miss Scatcherd said, slatternly; I seldom put, and never keep, things, in order; I am careless; I forget rules; I read when I should learn my lessons; I have no method; and sometimes I say, like you, I cannot bear to be subjected to systematic arrangements. This is all very provoking to Miss Scatcherd, who is naturally neat, punctual, and particular.”

“And cross and cruel,”I added; but Helen Burns would not admit my addition: she kept silence.

“Is Miss Temple as severe to you as Miss Scatcherd?”

At the utterance of Miss Temple's name, a soft smile flitted over her grave face.

“Miss Temple is full of goodness; it pains her to be severe to any one, even the worst in the school: she sees my errors, and tells me of them gently; and, if I do anything worthy of praise, she gives me my meed liberally. One strong proof of my wretchedly defective nature is, that even her expostulations, so mild, so rational, have not influence to cure me of my faults; and even her praise, though I value it most highly, cannot stimulate me to continued care and foresight.”

“That is curious,”said I,“it is so easy to be careful.”

“For you I have no doubt it is. I observed you in your class this morning, and saw you were closely attentive: your thoughts never seemed to wander while Miss Miller explained the lesson and questioned you. Now, mine continually rove away; when I should be listening to Miss Scatcherd, and collecting all she says with assiduity, often I lose the very sound of her voice; I fall into a sort of dream. Sometimes I think I am in Northumberland, and that the noises I hear round me are the bubbling of a little brook which runs through Deepden, near our house; —then, when it comes to my turn to reply, I have to be awakened; and having heard nothing of what was read for listening to the visionary brook, I have no answer ready.”

“Yet how well you replied this afternoon.”

“It was mere chance; the subject on which we had been reading had interested me. This afternoon, instead of dreaming of Deepden, I was wondering how a man who wished to do right could act so unjustly and unwisely as Charles the First sometimes did; and I thought what a pity it was that, with his integrity and conscientiousness, he could see no farther than the prerogatives of the crown. If he had but been able to look to a distance, and see how what they call the spirit of the age was tending! Still, I like Charles—I respect him—I pity him, poor murdered king! Yes, his enemies were the worst: they shed blood they had no right to shed. How dared they kill him!”

Helen was talking to herself now: she had forgotten I could not very well understand her-that I was ignorant, or nearly so, of the subject she discussed. I recalled her to my level.

“And when Miss Temple teaches you, do your thoughts wander then?”

“No, certainly, not often; because Miss Temple has generally something to say which is newer than my own reflections; her language is singularly agreeable to me, and the information she communicates is often just what I wished to gain.”

“Well, then, with Miss Temple you are good?”

“Yes, in a passive way: I make no effort; I follow as inclination guides me. There is no merit in such goodness.”

“A great deal: you are good to those who are good to you. It is all I ever desire to be. If people were always kind and obedient to those who are cruel and unjust, the wicked people would have it all their own way: they would never feel afraid, and so they would never alter, but would grow worse and worse. When we are struck at without a reason, we should strike back again very hard; I am sure we should-so hard as to teach the person who struck us never to do it again.”

“You will change your mind, I hope, when you grow older: as yet you are but a little untaught girl.”

“But I feel this, Helen; I must dislike those who, whatever I do to please them, persist in disliking me; I must resist those who punish me unjustly. It is as natural as that I should love those who show me affection, or submit to punishment when I feel it is deserved.”

“Heathens and savage tribes hold that doctrine, but Christians and civilised nations disown it.”

“How? I don't understand.”

“It is not violence that best overcomes hate-nor vengeance that most certainly heals injury.”

“What then?”

“Read the New Testament, and observe what Christ says, and how He acts; make His word your rule, and His conduct your example.”

“What does He say?”

“Love your enemies; bless them that curse you; do good to them that hate you and despitefully use you.”

“Then I should love Mrs. Reed, which I cannot do; I should bless her son John, which is impossible.”

In her turn, Helen Burns asked me to explain, and I proceeded forthwith to pour out, in my own way, the tale of my sufferings and resentments. Bitter and truculent when excited, I spoke as I felt, without reserve or softening.

Helen heard me patiently to the end: I expected she would then make a remark, but she said nothing.

“Well,”I asked impatiently,“is not Mrs. Reed a hard-hearted, bad woman?”

“She has been unkind to you, no doubt; because you see, she dislikes your cast of character, as Miss Scatcherd does mine; but how minutely you remember all she has done and said to you! What a singularly deep impression her injustice seems to have made on your heart! No ill-usage so brands its record on my feelings. Would you not be happier if you tried to forget her severity, together with the passionate emotions it excited? Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs. We are, and must be, one and all, burdened with faults in this world: but the time will soon come when, I trust, we shall put them off in putting off our corruptible bodies; when debasement and sin will fall from us with this cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the spark of the spirit will remain, -the impalpable principle of light and thought, pure as when it left the Creator to inspire the creature: whence it came it will return; perhaps again to be communicated to some being higher than man-perhaps to pass through gradations of glory, from the pale human soul to brighten to the seraph! Surely it will never, on the contrary, be suffered to degenerate from man to fiend? No; I cannot believe that: I hold another creed: which no one ever taught me, and which I seldom mention; but in which I delight, and to which I cling: for it extends hope to all: it makes Eternity a rest-a mighty home, not a terror and an abyss. Besides, with this creed, I can so clearly distinguish between the criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely forgive the first while I abhor the last: with this creed revenge never worries my heart, degradation never too deeply disgusts me, injustice never crushes me too low: I live in calm, looking to the end.”

Helen's head, always drooping, sank a little lower as she finished this sentence. I saw by her look she wished no longer to talk to me, but rather to converse with her own thoughts. She was not allowed much time for meditation: a monitor, a great rough girl, presently came up, exclaiming in a strong Cumberland accent-

“Helen Burns, if you don't go and put your drawer in order, and fold up your work this minute, I'll tell Miss Scatcherd to come and look at it!”

Helen sighed as her reverie fled, and getting up, obeyed the monitor without reply as without delay.

第二天像先前一样开始，大家借着灯芯草蜡烛的亮光都起床穿衣，但是，这天早上，我们不得不免去洗脸这个仪式，大水罐里的水冻住了。前一天夜里，天气发生了变化，刺骨的东北风透过寝室窗户的缝隙整夜呼啸而过，使我们在被窝里瑟瑟发抖，大口罐子里的水也冻成了冰。

长达一个半小时的祷告和《圣经》诵读还没有结束，我就感到快要冻死了。早饭时间终于到来了，今天早上粥没有烧煳，质量上可以吃，数量上却很少。我的那份看上去真少啊！我真希望能有两份。

这一天，我成了四班的学员，还给我布置了正式作业和活动。至今，我只不过是洛伍德各项活动的旁观者，我现在要成为其中的参与者了。起先，我不大习惯背诵，觉得课文好像又长又难，功课也常常变换，让我糊里糊涂。下午三点钟左右，我非常高兴史密斯小姐把一块两码长的平纹细布滚边连同针和顶针等放进我的手里，打发我坐在教室的一个安静的角落，按照吩咐给滚边缝边。在那个时刻，其他大多数人也在同样缝着，不过，有一个班仍然围站在斯堪切德小姐的椅子周围读书，因为四周万籁俱寂，所以可以听见她们功课的内容，也可以听见每个女孩读得如何，可以听见斯堪切德小姐对她们表现的批评和赞扬。这是一堂英国历史课。我观察到读书的人中有一位是我在游廊上相识的。开始上课时，她的位置在全班首位，但因为某个发音错误或对停顿的疏忽，她突然被打发到了末尾。即使在那个不引人注目的位置上，斯堪切德小姐继续使她成为大家始终注意的目标，不断用这种措辞对她说话——

“彭斯（这好像就是她的名字，这儿的女孩们都按姓来叫，就像其他地方的男孩一样），彭斯，你把鞋帮踩在地上了，马上把脚尖朝外。”“彭斯，你伸出下巴，真不雅观，把它收回去。”“彭斯，我要你务必抬起头来，我不许你这样站在我的面前。”云云。

一章通读了两遍后，合上书，女孩们受到了考问。这堂课包含查理一世王朝的一部分，问的是有关于船舶吨位税、按镑收税和造船税等各种各样的问题，大多数人似乎都回答不了，每个小难题，到了彭斯那儿，就会立刻迎刃而解，她好像把整堂课的内容都印在了脑海里，所以她对每个问题都对答如流。我一直盼望斯堪切德小姐会表扬她的专心，然而，她不仅没有这样做，反而突然大声叫道——

“你这肮脏讨厌的女孩！你今天早上连指甲都没有洗！”

彭斯没有回答，我对她的沉默感到不解。我心里想：“她为什么不解释水结冰，她既不能洗指甲，也不能洗脸呢？”

我的注意力此刻被史密斯小姐转移了，她想让我撑住一束线。她一边绕线，一边不时地跟我说话，问我以前是不是上过学，会不会绣花、缝纫、编织等，直到她打发我走，我才可能继续观察斯堪切德小姐的一举一动。我回到座位上时，那位女士正在下一道命令，我听不懂命令的意思，但彭斯马上离开了她那个班级，走进那个放书的小里屋，不到半分钟就回来了，手里拿着一头束在一起的一捆小树枝。她恭恭敬敬地行了个屈膝礼，把这个凶多吉少的工具献给斯堪切德小姐，然后不等吩咐，就默默地解开围裙。那位老师马上用这捆小树枝在她的脖子上狠狠抽了十几下。彭斯的眼里没有涌出一滴泪水。我看到这种情景，心里有一种徒劳无力的愤怒，手指颤抖，停下了针线活。她沉思的脸上神情像平常一样没有任何变化。

“倔姑娘！”斯堪切德小姐大声叫道，“什么也改变不了你的邋遢习惯。把笞鞭拿走。”

彭斯言听计从。当她从藏书室出来时，我仔细打量着她，只见她正把手帕放回口袋，瘦削的脸颊上闪着泪痕。

我想晚间的玩耍时间是洛伍德一天中最愉快的片段。五点钟咽下的一小块面包，喝的一口咖啡，即使没有消除饥饿感，也使人恢复了活力。长长一天的约束放松了，教室里比早上感觉要暖和——炉火允许燃得稍微旺点儿，多少代替了还没有点燃的蜡烛。微红的暮色、许可的喧闹、嘈杂的人声给人一种愉快的自由感。

在看到斯堪切德小姐鞭打她的学生彭斯的那天晚上，我照常在长凳、桌子和欢笑的人群中间走来走去，尽管没人做伴，但我并不感到孤独。经过窗户时，我不时地拉起百叶窗，向外张望，雪下得很紧，下端的窗玻璃上已经积起了一层飘雪，我把耳朵贴在窗户上，可以听出里面充满欢喜的喧哗和外面寒风呼啸的哀鸣。

要是我最近离开了一个温暖的家和慈祥的父母，此时此刻说不定就会痛心疾首后悔当时的分离，那风此刻就会使我伤心，这种模糊的混沌句会扰乱我的平静！事实上，我从两者中产生了一种莫名其妙的激动，不顾一切，兴奋狂热，盼望风怒号得更加猛烈，盼望更加天昏地暗，盼望混乱变得更加喧嚣。

我跳过长凳，钻过桌子，一路来到一个壁炉前，跪在钢丝火炉围栏边，发现彭斯有一本书做伴，聚精会神，一声不吭，借着余烬的微光全神贯注默默地看着书，忘记了周围的一切。

“还是《拉塞拉斯》吗？”我来到她的背后问道。

“是的，”她说，“我刚看完。”

又过了五分钟，她合上了书。我对此非常高兴。“现在，”我想，“我也许能让她说说话，”我在她身边的地板上坐下来。

“除了姓彭斯，你叫什么名字？”

“海伦。”

“你是从离这儿很远的地方来的吗？”

“我来自大北边的一个地方，完全在苏格兰的边界。”

“你还要回去吗？”

“我希望能回。但是，谁对未来也不可能有把握。”

“你一定想离开洛伍德吗？”

“不！我为什么要离开呢？我被送到洛伍德是来接受教育的，没有达到这个目标，离开是不会有用的。”

“可是，那位老师斯堪切德小姐对你那么凶？”

“凶？一点也不凶！她很严厉。她不喜欢我的毛病。”

“我要是处在你的位置，就会不喜欢她，就会抵制她。她要是用那根笞鞭打我，我就会从她的手里夺过来，当着她的面一下折断。”

“也许你不会做那种事儿。可是，你要是做的话，布罗克赫斯特先生就会把你开除出校，那会让你的亲戚非常伤心。耐心忍受仅有自己感到的一种痛苦，要比草率行动会连累所有跟你有关的人产生的恶果强得多。况且，《圣经》上嘱咐我们要以德报怨。”

“不过，挨鞭子、罚站在满屋是人的教室中央，好像很丢人。何况，你是这样大的女孩了。我比你小得多，都受不了。”

“不过，要是你无法避免，那你的职责就是忍受。要是你命里注定需要忍受，要说自己不能忍受，那就是软弱和愚蠢。”

听到她这样说，我感到惊奇。我无法理解这种忍耐的信条，更无法明白或同情她对惩罚者表现出的克制。尽管如此，但我还是觉得海伦·彭斯是以一种我看不见的眼光来看待事物。我怀疑可能她对、我错。但是，我对这种事儿不想深思，像腓力斯一样，我把它推迟到更方便时再去深思。

“海伦，你说你有毛病。是什么毛病？我看你好像很好。”

“那就听我说，不要以貌取人。像斯堪切德小姐说的那样，我邋遢，我很少把东西放整齐，也永远不会保持整齐；我粗心大意，忘记规则，我该学习功课时却去看闲书；我没有条理，有时像你一样会说，我无法忍受那种秩序井然的安排。这一切都使斯堪切德小姐非常恼火，她天生整洁，严守时间，过于讲究。”

“而且乖戾残忍，”我补充说。但是，海伦没有承认我补充的意见，仍然保持沉默。

“坦普尔小姐也像斯堪切德小姐一样对你那么严厉吗？”

说到坦普尔小姐的名字，她严肃的脸上掠过了温柔的微笑。

“坦普尔小姐善良极了，严厉对待任何人，都会让她伤心，哪怕是学校里最差的学生。她看到我的错误，常常和颜悦色地告诉我；我要是做了什么值得称赞的事儿，她就会给我大大的奖赏。我的本性严重缺陷的一个有力证据就是，即使她的规劝那样温和、那样合理，也没有影响治好我的那些毛病；即使我非常看重她的赞扬，也无法激励我继续小心翼翼、深谋远虑。”

“这很奇怪，”我说，“要做到小心翼翼，是很容易的。”

“对你来说，我肯定是这样。我今天早上观察了上课时的你，看到你专心致志。米勒小姐讲课和提问你时，你的思想从不跑神。我的思想却总是跑神。当我应该听斯堪切德小姐讲课，一丝不苟地记住她讲的一切时，我常常听不进她说话的声音，我会进入一种梦境。有时我认为自己到了诺森伯兰郡，认为我听到的周围的响声是我家附近流过深谷的一条小溪的潺潺流水声——于是，当轮到我回答时，老师得把我从梦境中唤醒。因为倾听想象中的溪流声，没有听到读的什么，所以我回答不上来。”

“可是，你今天下午答得真好。”

“那只是碰巧。我对我们一直读的内容感兴趣。今天下午，我没有梦到深谷，而是在想，一个希望做正事的人怎么可能会像查理一世那样有时做如此不公正、不明智的事儿呢。我想这是多么可惜，他正直谨慎，居然看不到皇权以外的东西。只要他能看得远些，看到所谓时代精神的趋向，该多好啊！尽管如此，但我还是喜欢查理——我尊敬他——我怜悯他，这位可怜的被谋杀的国王！是的，他的仇敌最坏，他们让自己无权伤害的人流了血。他们竟敢杀害了他！”

海伦眼下在自言自语。她忘记了我无法很好理解她的话——忘记了我对她谈论的话题一无所知，或者差不多一无所知。我把她拉回到我的水平。

“那么，坦普尔小姐教你时，你的思想跑神吗？”

“当然不，不经常。因为坦普尔小姐总是有比我自己的想法更新鲜的东西要说，她的语言也特别合我的心意，她传授的知识常常正是我希望获得的。”

“这么说，跟坦普尔小姐在一起，你很好？”

“是的，是以被动的方式。我没有努力，我是随心所欲。这种好没有什么价值。”

“了不起。别人对你好，你对别人也好。这就是我始终希望要做的。要是人们总对那些残忍不公的人善良顺从，坏人就会为所欲为，就会什么也不怕，这样他们永远不会改，而是会越来越坏。当我们无缘无故地挨打，我们就要狠狠回击。我相信我们应该回击——狠狠地教训那个打过我们的人，让他再也不敢动手。”

“我希望，等再长大些，你就会改变想法，你现在只不过是一个还没有受过教育的小女孩。”

“不过，我感觉是这样，海伦，我一定会讨厌那些无论我怎样讨好就是不喜欢我的人。我必须反抗那些不公正地惩罚我的人。同样自然的是，我会爱那些向我示爱的人，或者当我认为自己该受罚时，我会甘愿承受。”

“异教徒和野蛮部落会坚持这个信条，但基督教徒和开化的民族会拒绝接受。”

“怎么会呢？我不明白。”

“最能克服仇恨的不是暴力——最能治愈伤害的也不是复仇。”

“那是什么？”

“读一下《新约全书》，观察基督的言行，把他的话当成你的准则，把他的行为当成你的榜样。”

“他说什么？”

“爱你的敌人，祝福诅咒你的人，善待憎恨你、凌辱你的人。”

“那我应该爱里德太太，这我做不到；我应该祝福他的儿子约翰，那也不可能。”

这次轮到海伦·彭斯要求我解释了。我就以自己的方式立刻向她诉说了自己痛苦和怨恨的经历。我激动时，说话尖酸刻薄，怎么感觉就怎么说，毫不保留，也不委婉。

海伦耐心地听我说完。我以为她会发表评论，但她什么也没说。

“那么，”我急切地问道，“难道里德太太不是一个狠心的坏女人吗？”

“毫无疑问，她没有善待过你。因为你明白，她不喜欢你的性格，就像斯堪切德小姐不喜欢我的性格一样。可是，她对你做过的一切和说过的一切，你都记得是多么详细！她的不公好像已经在你的心里留下了特别深刻的印象！任何虐待都不会在我的情感上烙下这种印记。要是你尽力忘记她对你的严厉，忘记由此引起的愤慨，你不就会更开心吗？对我来说，生命好像太短暂了，不应该用在结仇或记恨上。我们在这个世界上人人都会有毛病，但我相信，我们在摆脱腐败身体时也会摆脱这些毛病，这个时刻很快就会到来，堕落和罪孽将会跟累赘的肉体一起离开我们，只会留下精神的火花——光明和思想的本源就像当初离开上帝使万物具有生命时那样纯洁，它会哪儿来哪儿去。也许又会被传递给比人类更高级的生物——也许会经过荣耀的渐变阶段，从照亮人类的苍白灵魂，到照亮六翼天使！正好相反，它绝不会允许从人类蜕化为魔鬼吧？是的，我不相信会这样。我坚持另一个信条，这没有人教过我，我也很少提起，但我对此感到高兴，也坚定不移，因为它会给所有人都带来希望，它会使永恒成为一种静止——一个强大有力的家，而不是恐惧和深渊。另外，有了这个信条，我能非常清晰地辨别罪犯及其罪行，我可以非常真诚地原谅前者，痛恨后者；有了这个信条，复仇永远不会困扰我的心灵，坠落绝不会让我深恶痛绝，不公平绝不会压倒我。我平静生活，期待着最后的时刻。”

海伦始终耷拉着脑袋，说完这句话时垂得更低了。我从她的神情看到她不想再对我说话了，而情愿跟她自己的思想交谈。她没有多少时间沉思。不一会儿，一个班长——一个粗野的大女孩——走了过来，用浓烈的坎伯兰郡口音大声叫道——

“海伦·彭斯，要是你此刻不去整理抽屉、收拾你的针线活，我就要请斯堪切德小姐来看看了！”

沉思遁去，海伦叹了口气，站起来，没有回答，立即服从了这个班长。