Education类各分数段范文剖析

教育类范文一 到底什么是6分？一只6分烤鸭的辛酸血泪史

【说明】

下面这篇作文是剑桥官方提供的一篇“原生态”6分essay。之所以把本文当成全书第一篇“范文”，是因为它实实在在地让我想起了自己批改过的大量中国同学的文章，无论是文风还是犯的错误简直都是一样儿一样儿的。

如果本文能让您初步了解自己的写作水平目前正处在何种位置上，这将是一个好的开始。

Nowadays, purpose of education being changed（谓语动词无端地被丢失，在being的前面需要加上is才对）. There are some people who think that competition in children should be made（在本句里be made的含义过于general, 如果改用含义更具体的be encouraged被鼓励，be promoted被促进，或者be fostered被培养，则能让论证变得更实际）. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate as well as become more useful adults. There are advantages and disadvantages for both of the arguements（很生硬的套句，而且还犯了低级拼写错误，ar-guements应该改为arguments，哥连背模板都背错了）.

To begin with, what is good if a sense of competition in children is made？They can devalope（初二单词也拼错，真该打手板）themselves more and more as they learn and study a lot to win from the competition. To prove this, in my country it is popular and common to have a tutor who come to students' house to teach extra pieces of studywith paying a lot of money（不恰当地使用with结构，导致本句后部的逻辑相当凌乱）. They learn faster than what they learn at school.Furthermore, during the vacation , students study abroad to learn English for a month. If they have experiments such as study abroad（这里用such as举出的例子可不太像话：study abroad出国读书怎么能当成have experiments“实验”的例子呢？难道是真的把孩子们都当“烤鸭”了？）, it is one of the greatest plus point to go to the famous well-known（famous和well-known两个词词义重复，堆砌词汇的意图明显）high school. Moreover, there are four big school exam（four exam… 汗，哥已经彻底不管单复数了）totest students' level of studies. Generally, only the highest 40% can go to the good quality high schools and colleges. Children learn as much as they can, to win the competition to obtain good quality schools.

On the other hand, as they are busy to enter the schools and study with their own tu-tors, there are problems. They become selfish（这个selfish用得是比较准的，但整个句子加起来才三个单词，语气更像是在控诉地主婆儿）. They become careless and don't help others a lot if it is about studies. There will be no cooperation for them. Then, why are there companies for many people to work in？Each of them are clever，however, there are weak parts and strong parts（这两个词组都比较口语化，英文写作中指一个人的长项与弱项时通常会使用短语strengths and weaknesses来代替）for each person. To cooperate is to improve this part. People talk and listen to what others thinking of（由what引导的从句里面的谓语应该用动词形式，所以要把thinking of改为think of才对）and learn. That can also be a great opportunity to learn instead oflearning alone with one teacher.

In conclusion, I strongly agree with（agree with本身是一个正确的搭配，但是在地道英语里当agree的后面是一个that从句时，则应该省略with）that children should be taught to cooperate rather than compete. Nobody is perfect. People learn together, work together to help each other. I want parents and teachers to（提出建议时惯用want是雅思考生中经典的用词不当，只有校长或者教育局长等这类人才能want teachers to… ）educate children concentrating on cooperation, not compete and ranking them（在最后一刻拼尽全力甩出了几个不错的短语，但语法形式已经彻底混乱，毫无rules可言）.

Pat 评析

客观来说，这篇文章写得并不好，有很多低级错误，给阅卷人以步步惊心的感觉，甚至已经到了只要遇到略长一点的句子就一定能发现用词或语法错误的地步。

（也许）全文唯一的亮点是哥在主体段里勇敢地深入挖掘了几个生活实例。但可惜的是，正如官方评语里指出的：The supporting examples are overdeveloped and divert（转向）the reader away from the argument. 也就是说：例证虽好，但本文中的例子发掘得“过于”深入了，而且还出现了局部跑题，从而导致考官发飙。

本文里可能会引起争议的一点是文中所出现的一些结构连接表达（linking expressions）到底是否应该用。值得我们注意的是：剑桥官方评语中明显并不认为本文里的这些表达是扣分点（考官评语里明确指出：There is some good use of linking expressions in this essay.）。在考官眼中，正是一些准确应用的linking expressions才帮助这位基础薄弱的考生避免了论证完全失控的局面，在一定程度上扭转了滑向更低分数档的败局。在由剑桥官方给出的6～7分范文评语里都强调了正确使用连接词/连接短语对行文衔接所起的作用。而在剑桥给出的7分以上范文里，官方评分标准则更重视对于“明连接”（直接用连接词来连接上下文）和“暗承接”（不直接使用连接词、而是依靠上下文语义之间的自然承接关系来承接上下文）这两类行文衔接方法的配合使用，而不是仅仅依靠“明连接”或者只用“暗承接”。这也正是为什么7分以上的范文读起来会感觉行文更流畅、而且句子之间的关系更加多样的重要原因之一^[1]。

本文的对比范文请看今天的第17篇范文。

语法多样性分析

地道英语中特殊句式涉及的理论知识与术语解释请参阅本书的姐妹篇

《十天突破雅思写作》Day 4

◆ To cooperate is to improve this part. People talk and listen to what others thinking of and learn. That can also be a great opportunity to learn instead of learning alone with one teacher. 在这篇不算出色的文章里，这3句话逆天地打出了一个“小高潮”。虽然没能逃脱存在语法错误的命运（例如what others thinking of应该改为what others think of），但这位考生还是尽力写出了用what引导的宾语从句、在instead of后接动名词短语等比较有特色的语法结构。6分档作文的明显特点就是全文始终在语言和表意之间激烈地挣扎，努力想表达更复杂的意思，但却力不从心，一下笔就出现众多失误。同时，这三句话还采用了长短句结合的形式，构成了有变化的节奏感。但是考虑到本文的其他句子普遍都比较生硬，因此这种多变的长短句配合效果很可能是“一不小心”写出来的。

本文量化评分

教育类范文二 到底什么是7分？对两篇7分范文的比较研究（A Comparative Study of Two Band-7 Sample Essays）

【说明】

长期批改国内同学的作文，Pat有一个深刻的体会，就是“低分作文的弱点都是一样一样的，高分作文的优点却各有各的不同”。7分是LSE和Warwick等牛校的多数专业所要求的分数。我们来对比两篇分数相同、但却写法迥异的范文。

（A）强势的考生 甲（剑桥官方提供的本题7分范文）

To a large extent，I believe that children are given too much free time.

Free time，in my opinion，refers to time that is not spent under the direct supervision of a parent，teacher or a person entrusted with the responsibility of bringing up the child. Such time is often spent on several things such as watching television，playing with friends，going to parties，doing homework and playing games on their own among others.

Among all of the above activities，a child could either be influenced by his or her peer group especially when left without attention or be influenced by what he or she watches on TV，most of which are those not meant to be viewed by the child's age group.

In my opinion，most of the formative years of a child should be spent doing schoolwork or engaging in recreational activities that would develop the child emotionally and mentally. I believe this strongly because at a young age，a child is quick to grasp most of what is seen or heard.

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

本文思路与结构剖析

本文的开头段极为直白，旗帜鲜明地提出孩子们确实是被给予了过多的空闲时间。在主体段里，这名考生首先对free time下了定义：即孩子没有受到家长、老师或其他监护人监督的时间。然后提出孩子的这类时间多被花在了看电视、与朋友们一起玩儿、参加parties等事情上面，并没有得到充分地利用。接下来，该考生提出在空闲的时间里，孩子们要么就是受自己的同龄人影响，要么就是看那些他们/她们本不应该看的电视节目。而在结束部分，这名考生则提出由于孩子们处在情感和智力成型期，对于接触到的新东西吸收得很快，因此他们/她们应该花更多时间在学业或者对自己的心智有益的休闲活动上。

Pat 评析

这篇7分作文的优点很明显：行文衔接自然、连贯，展现出了令人满意的词汇量（关键是用词的准确度也很高）与多样、准确的语法句式结构。因此，Cambridge ESOL在评语里毫不吝惜地使用了“very good”这一有感情色彩的评价（在剑桥官方评语里这个评价通常均是留给9分范文的）。

但本文的缺点也同样明显：文章长度竟然没有能够达到task 2写够250 words的最低要求，而且对主体段里的一些ideas缺少足够的展开论证，在论证充实度这一项评分上无法真正说服阅卷人。因此，尽管本文在行文连贯性和整体感以及词汇、语法等方面已经明显超过了官方评分标准里对7分作文的要求，但是四项评分累计之后的得分仍然是7分。这与Pat在北京环雅工作期间与一些中国区考官进行交流得到的结论一致：考官们对于四项评分标准的重视程度是完全平等的，并没有厚此薄彼的倾向。很多国内同学对于“好文章”的认识误区就在于过度看重词汇和句子，却无视论证扣题度与充实度和行文连贯性和整体感这两项在考官们心目当中同样极为关键的评分标准。

语法多样性分析

◆ Among all of the above，a child could either be influenced by his or her peer group especially when left without attention or be influenced by what he or she watches on TV， most of which are those not meant to be viewed by the child's age group.

本句中相当密集地使用了状语前置、虚拟语气、由when引导的过去分词短语、由what引导的宾语从句和由which引导的定语从句等多种丰富句式的手法，而且准确度也较好。在IELTS作文里其实并没有必要写这么“炫技”的句子，但很显然这名考生的语言基本功相当扎实。如果字数能写够而且展开论证过程能写得再充实一些的话完全可以冲击更高的分数，可惜了

◆ In my opinion，most of the formative years of a child should be spent doing schoolwork，engaging in recreational activities that would develop the child emotionally and mentally.本句里也接连使用了主被动交替、that引导的定语从句、虚拟语气和副词在句尾叠用等句式多样化手法，但是该考生因为过度雕琢语言而最终导致没有足够的时间进行深入论证甚至达不到最低字数要求其实是失策之举

行文连贯性分析

(适合需要写作单项7分的同学学习)

◆ Free time，in my opinion，refers to time that is not spent under the direct supervision of a parent，teacher or a person entrusted with the responsibility of bringing up the child. Such time is often spent on several things such as watching television，playing with friends，going to parties，doing homework and playing games on their own among others.

这两句话之间并没有直接出现连接词，而是在第二句话里用Such time来指代前一句话里面所说的儿童不受家长、老师或者其他看护人看护的时间，从而在这两句话之间建立起了很明确的逻辑关系。而且，在第二句话的后部，这名考生又用such as这个表示例证的连接词给出了这些时间被用于的具体活动，实现了行文衔接“明暗结合”（即一些内容之间直接使用连接词，但其他内容之间则不直接使用连接词、而是通过上下文之间的语义关系自然承接）的多样化衔接效果。

对于高分范文在行文衔接方面“明暗结合”这一显著特点更深入的分析请看今天的第21篇范文。

本文量化评分

■译文

我在很大程度上认为孩子们的确被给予了过多的空闲时间。

在我看来，空闲时间就是指不处于家长、教师或者监护人的直接监管之下的时间。而孩子们通常把这类时间花费在如看电视、和朋友一起玩、参加聚会、做家庭作业、自己玩游戏等事情上。

在上述活动中，孩子既可能受同龄人影响（特别是在缺乏关注的情况下），又可能受电视节目影响，而这些电视节目大部分并不适合孩子们所在的年龄段。

在我看来，孩子的成长岁月最应该花在功课和对心智发展有益的休闲活动上。我之所以非常认同这一点，因为孩子在小时候能够快速地理解所看到或听到的大部分事物。

【比较研究】（B）朴实的考生乙

下面这篇文章是海淀国图高分班的许宗毓同学关于这道考题的习作。坦白地说，许同学的英语基础明显不如前面那个语言很彪悍的大牛，也没有像一些“土豪”那样去刻意生硬地堆砌难词或者拼凑难句，但她仍然凭借并不华丽但却更加充实的论证拿到了写作单项7分的成绩。下面是她在考试结束后根据自己的回忆发给Pat的文章，文笔虽略显稚嫩，但已经初步体现出使用英语来深入地展开论证观点的能力，而且论证过程也已经具备了一定的说服力，属于典型的7分范文（原文里有少量的拼写和语法错误已纠正）：

I agree that the time children spend on school work offers them more meaningful activities than their idle free time does. However，I also believe that children should be able to decide for themselves how to spend their free time.

Children are at the best stage in life to gain knowledge，develop skills and form good learning and social habits. If this precious period is mainly spent on idle activities such as watching TV and playing video games，which are many children's favorite hobbies，they will have to do much more to compete with their peers when they become adults.

What can be more worrying about giving children too much free time is the increase in children's behaviour problems. Nowadays it is common for parents to work long hours. The children who often spend time alone after school are more likely to suffer from loneliness and boredom，and develop anti-social behavior. By contrast，not only does school work include listening to lectures and writing reports，it also offers a wide range of interactive activities，such as group discussions and team presentations. These activities can improve children's social and cooperative skills.

On the other hand，I believe that children should be given enough freedom in deciding how to use their free time. The skill of managing time properly is as important as doing academic exercises. Providing children with the right to choose what they do after school will also develop their sense of responsibility. With advice from parents and teachers，children can choose meaningful activities for their free time，including art projects，sports and volunteer work.

In conclusion，I think that students should be encouraged to spend more time on school work. At the same time，they should be given guidance about how to use their free time properly.

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

本文思路与结构评析

本文的开头段明确提出自己的看法：用于学业的时间确实能为孩子们提供更多有意义的活动，但仍应允许孩子们自己决定如何使用空闲时间。

主体部分里的第1、2段分别论证了适当控制孩子自由时间的两个必要性：❶让孩子们充分利用宝贵的青少年阶段；❷减少未成年人出现反社会行为的可能。主体部分里的第3段则提出学生支配自由时间的权利应该被尊重，因为学会合理地安排时间本身就是一种重要的社会技能，而且，如果有家长和老师的建议，孩子们通常也会为自由时间选择很有意义的活动。

许同学的结论是：应该鼓励孩子们更多地学习，同时应该指导他们如何去正确地利用自由支配的时间。

本文量化评分

■译文

我同意孩子们花在学业上的时间要比闲散时间能为他们提供更多有意义的活动。但我也认为孩子们应该可以自己去决定如何支配自由时间。

儿童正处在获取知识、发展技能和形成良好的学习与社会生活习惯的最佳人生阶段。如果这个宝贵的阶段主要是被用在很多孩子业余时间最喜欢的看电视和打电子游戏等闲散活动上面，他们在成年之后将必须做远远更多的事情才能和自己的同龄人竞争。

更令人担心的是，给孩子们过多的空余时间可能会导致孩子们的行为问题增加。当今，家长们往往要工作很长时间。放学后经常自己一个人的孩子们更容易感到孤独与无聊，并形成反社会的行为。相比之下，学业不仅包括听讲和写研究报告，也提供各种互动的活动，比如小组讨论或团队演示等，这些活动能增进孩子们的社会与合作技能。

另一方面，我认为学生应有充分的自由来决定如何利用业余时间。学习合理管理时间的技能与做课业练习同样重要。给予学生权利去选择课外活动也将促进他们的责任感。来自家长与教师的建议能帮助孩子们为自己的空闲时间选择有意义的活动，包括艺术品制作、运动和义工等。

总之，我认为孩子们应该被鼓励在学业上花更多的时间。同时，他们应该被给予关于如何恰当使用自由支配时间的引导。

教育类范文三 新生下乡应该缓行

【说明】

目前我们已经看到了官方标准中的6分与7分作文，对考官的期望值有了一定的“感性认识”。那么分数夹在它们之间的作文又应该是什么样儿呢？

下面我们来深入研究一篇6.5分范文，6.5也正是多数二三线英联邦大学对研究生入学要求的分数。不妨把您自己的作文与这篇文章来做一个对照的评判，并请认真体会：What does it take to get a band 6.5？

▶6.5分范文

There is still a wide gap between the educational and medical facilities in urban and rural areas. Having seen this, some people suggest that new teachers and doctors work in the rural area for some time. I think this may lead to some practical problems.

I agree that sending new teachers and doctors to the rural area may help them to develop a strong sense of responsibility. They will feel it is a pity that the rural residents suffer from poor teaching and medical services , and they have the responsibility to change the situation. Their knowledge and skills gained through higher education can help them to contribute to improvements in local education and health care.

However, sending university graduates to rural areas can also cause significant problems. Many of them will feel frustrated if they are forced to work in areas where they may have difficulty adapting to the local lifestyles. Even if they can finally get used to the underdeveloped facilities there, they will find it difficult to readapt to the life in cities when they come back. Much pressure will also be felt if they return to cities but have problems operating the teaching tools or medical equipment in cities, which are more advanced and harder to use. These teachers and doctors may even think of themselves as complete failures because they may be unable to keep up with their colleagues after spending some time in rural areas.

To conclude, I tend to believe that new teachers' and new doctors' own choices should be respected when they are asked to work in rural areas.

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

Pat 评析

一篇十分中规中矩的文章，没有很强的表现欲，ideas也并不算新颖，但说理还是清楚的（本文不算长，但好处是基本没有废话，ideas读起来还是比较充实的），行文过程整体也比较连贯，没有6分作文那样时常出现的“磕磕绊绊”感。

文中先承认了新老师和医生下乡的好处：培养责任感和利用自己的知识与技能为当地发展做贡献，但接着给出了更多的坏处，包括：❶年轻人离开城市后可能难以适应，❷今后回城再适应也会有困难，❸事业的发展不连续等。

该考生的最后结论是：是否让新老师和医生下乡应该尊重他们/她们自己的选择，这一结论并不深刻，但也还是有说服力的。

语法多样性分析

◆ Many of them will feel frustrated if they are forced to work in areas where they may have difficulty adapting to the local lifestyles. Even if they can finally get used to the underdeveloped facilities there，they will find it difficult to readapt to the life in cities when they come back. 这两句话里分别用到了if和even if，请注意它们在逻辑含义上的细节差异：if表示“如果”，而even if则是表示“即使”

【剑桥例句】Even if you take a taxi，you will still miss the train.

本文量化评分

■译文

在教育和医疗设施方面，城乡之间仍然存在着较大差距。因此，有些人建议让新教师和新医生在农村工作一段时间。我认为这可能会导致一些实际的问题。

我承认，把新老师和新医生送到农村，可能会帮助他们培养强烈的责任感。他们中的一些人会为农村居民落后的教学和医疗服务感到遗憾，并认为自己有责任去改变这种状况。他们通过高等教育学到的知识和技能可以帮助他们为农村教育和医疗的改善做出贡献。

但是，将大学毕业生送到农村也可能会产生显著的问题。假如他们被迫在其很难适应当地生活方式的贫困地区工作，他们中的许多人都会感到受挫。即使他们最终习惯了那里的落后设施，当回到城市时，他们也会发现几乎不可能重新适应那里的生活了。如果他们回到城市却在操作城市里的教学工具或医疗设备时遇到困难，因为那些设备更先进，使用难度更大，他们也会感到很大的压力。这些教师和医生甚至可能认为自己完全是个失败者，因为在农村待了一段时间后，他们可能已无法跟上同行。

总之，我倾向于认为在要求新教师和新医生到农村工作时，应尊重其个人的选择。

教育类范文四 因材施教还是搞一刀切

思路透析

在英美，到底是否应该把聪明儿童与普通儿童放在一起接受教育是连教育领域的专家们（educationalists）都还没有达成意见一致的学术难题。现在英美公立中小学里最常见的做法是由教育主管部门在所属的一些公立学校里开设gifted programmes，并对各学校的学生进行认知能力测试（cognitive tests），从中选出得分最高的（各地区的选择比例不同，从top 1%到top 5%都有）学生们推荐去参加gifted programme。但是在英美对目前这种做法的公平性和科学性提出质疑的教育界人士也不少。但好在写IELTS作文并不是作学术报告，只要能够在40分钟里比较准确地表达自己的观点并且适当进行论证就已经相当不错了。

给高智商学生“开小灶”具有其合理性：他们/她们可以接受更多的挑战，而且智力水平接近的孩子在一起学习沟通起来也更容易。

另一方面，对聪明儿童进行单独教育，普通孩子很可能会感觉不公平，而且聪明儿童本来能起到的榜样（role model）作用也就没有了。

仔细想想这种两难的困境其实挺好解决的：把聪明儿童放在普通班上课，但同时为他们/她们提供更具有挑战性的选修课（electives）不就结了吗。

下面这篇考生作文里的少数论证理由过于绝对，缺乏严格意义上的说服力，但本文在四项评分标准上都没有出现明显的失误，是一篇典型的7分档作文。

▶7分范文

Many intelligent students today attend gifted programmes and are educated separately from their peers.

Some people think that providing intelligent students with special courses makes practical sense. Students of high intelligence need a more challenging curriculum because they are fast learners and their learning process requires little repetition of the information taught by their teachers. If they find the curriculum too easy，they will end up learning little or nothing at all. In fact，many students who are inattentive in class are intelligent ones. Regular courses simply fail to attract their attention. Some of them even feel that their school time is wasted. From a psychological perspective，intelligent students also feel more comfortable if there are special classes for them. Many of them not only have unique learning styles but also have academic and personal interests that are very different from those of less intelligent students. Spending all their school time with their average peers would make them feel isolated and become oversensitive.

Many educationalists，however，argue that the disadvantages of placing intelligent students in separate classes are obvious. Regular classes will be drained of academic role models. Separating students according to their IQ levels may even send a message to those who take regular courses that their work is not valued by the school，which is very likely to reduce their self-confidence and damage their self-esteem.

Personally，I would suggest that intelligent students spend most of their school time with their peers. But in addition to regular courses，they should also be encouraged to take electives that can challenge them mentally.

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如今很多聪明的学生就读于“天才班”而且被与他们的同龄人分开教育。

一些人认为让这些学生学习特殊课程，在一定程度上是件有实际意义的事。高智商的学生学习速度更快，也不需要在学习过程中一再地重复老师所教授的知识，因此他们需要一个更具挑战性的课程设置。假如课程太容易，这些聪明的孩子将会觉得所学有限甚至根本学不到东西。事实上，许多在课上不积极的学生其实是非常聪明的。常规的课程根本吸引不了他们的注意力。有些聪明的孩子甚至会觉得在校时间被浪费了。而且从心理学角度来看，为聪明的学生开设单独的课程，也会令他们感到更适应。他们当中的很多人不仅学习方式很独特，而且学习与个人兴趣也与不如他们聪明的学生的学习和个人兴趣差异很大。把所有的在校时间都花在与普通同龄人一起可能会让聪明的学生感到被孤立或者变得过于敏感。

很多教育专家则认为，将聪明的学生分在单独班级里的缺点很明显。普通的班级会因此缺乏学习方面的榜样。根据学生们的智商水平把学生分开甚至可能会向那些学习普通课程的学生传递出这样的信息：他们的学习不像聪明学生的学习那样受到学校重视，这很可能会削弱普通学生们的自信并且伤害他们的自尊心。

我个人建议聪明的学生应该多数在校时间都和同龄人一起度过。但除了常规课程之外，也应鼓励他们选修更具有挑战性的课程。

教育类范文五 学知识vs.学明辨是非

【说明】

本文对两方的观点都举出了恰当的实例。对不是特别善于长篇“说理”的同学而言，“说例”是让论证变得充实的好方法，而且剑桥考官们喜欢看到有说服力的实例。但前提是：❶举例一定要与论证过程确实有实质性的关联（relevant），否则宁可不举；❷例子不要写得过长，否则会让考官产生自己在读narrative（叙事）而不是在读议论文的错觉。

▶7分范文

People have different views about the main purpose of schools.

Some teachers and parents believe that schools should only focus on providing students with academic knowledge. They argue that academic knowledge provides an important foundation for a wide range of job skills. For example，students who know more about algebra and calculus would have a better chance of finding a job in the fields of statistics and accounting because it is easier for them to master the advanced skills required. Also，many teachers see teaching academic knowledge as their main goal because assessment of students' academic knowledge is often considered more objective than assessment of other abilities and skills. The popularity of school rankings based on standardised test results shows many parents agree with the teachers on that.

However，some other people argue that apart from academic knowledge，schools should also teach students how to distinguish between right and wrong and behave well. Students are still immature emotionally and socially. If schools do not teach moral values such as respect，responsibility and self-discipline，students may end up using their knowledge for morally wrong purposes. For example，increasing numbers of young hackers use their computer knowledge to invade other people's computers. The fact that many of them describe their acts as“unintentional”is good proof of the importance of teaching students to tell right from wrong.

My own opinion is that teaching academic knowledge should be the priority of schools because they are the main institutions where children can gain it. At the same time，students should be provided with moral and character education programmes to ensure that apart from benefiting themselves，the knowledge that they gain will also benefit others.

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本文量化评分

■译文

关于学校的主要目的，人们持有不同的看法。

一些教师和家长认为学校应该只将重点放到传授学生学术知识上。他们认为理论知识为多种就业技能提供了重要的基础。例如，一名熟练掌握代数和微积分的学生会更容易得到涉及统计学或会计学的工作，因为他们良好的基础可以帮助他们很快掌握该领域所需的高级技能。而且许多老师将传授学生学术知识视为主要任务还因为考量学生的考试成绩比评估其他品质更方便、客观。如今各种基于标准考试成绩的学校排名非常流行，这显示出很多家长们认可这些老师们的这一看法。

但是，另一些人则认为学校除了教授学术知识还要教会学生分辨对错的能力。学生在情感和社会经验上还不成熟，如果学校不能帮助他们树立正确的道德价值观，他们有可能会把学到的知识应用到错误的目的中。例如年轻黑客的数量激增，他们利用自己的电脑知识去入侵他人的计算机。而他们往往把自己的行为描述成是“无意识的”，这有效证明了对学生进行是非观的教育非常重要。

在我看来，传授学术知识应该是学校的首要任务，因为学校是主要向孩子传授这些知识的地方。与此同时，学生们应该学习伦理方面的课程，以确保他们学习知识不仅仅是为了自己，也为了他人。

教育类范文六 只学理合理么？

▶7分范文

Some people suggest that students only study science subjects. Although I agree that science subjects are important，I think that students should also study a variety of other subjects.

On the one hand，science subject，such as physics，chemistry and biology，should be coresubjects on the school curriculum. These subjects help students to better understand the natural world and how it can be improved. For example，science teachers can teach students about the causes of global warming and what they can do to reduce global warming. The knowledge gained through science subjects also prepares students for a wide range of careers such as careers in science，technology，engineering or medicine.

On the other hand，science subjects should not be the only subjects that students study. Many other subjects can also help students to gain knowledge and develop important skills. For example，history lessons can help students to gain a better understanding of their own nation as well as other nations，and help them to improve their critical-thinking skills. Also，art lessons encourage students' imagination and teach them to solve problems creatively.

Furthermore，science subjects would not serve their purpose well without the help of other subjects on the school curriculum. For example，it is hard to imagine that students can report the results of their scientific experiments clearly in their papers if they have not learned academic writing in language classes.

In conclusion，I would argue that a good curriculum should be balanced and cover a wide range of areas，including natural sciences，social studies，languages and arts.

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本文量化评分

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有些人建议学生只学习科学科目。尽管我同意科学科目很重要，我认为学生们也应该学习多种其它科目。

一方面来讲，物理、化学和生物等科学科目应该是学校课程设置里的核心课程。这些课程可以帮助学生们更好的了解自然世界以及怎样去改进它。例如，科学课老师可以教给学生们全球变暖的原因以及学生们可以怎样做去减缓全球变暖。通过科学科目获取的知识还可以帮助学生们为多种职业做准备，比如在科学技术、工程、医药等领域的职业。

另一方面，学生们不应该只学习科学科目。很多其它科目也同样可以帮助学生们获取知识并发展重要的技能。例如，历史课可以帮助学生们形成对于本国以及其它国家更深入的理解，并帮助他们提高辩证思维技能。而且，艺术课程激发学生们的想象力，并且教学生们有创造力地解决问题。

再者，如果没有学校课程设置里的其它科目帮助，科学科目将会很难实现自身的教学目标。例如，很难想象如果学生们没有在语言课上学过学术写作，他们能在论文里清晰地报告科学试验的结果。

总之，我认为好的学校课程设置应该是均衡的而且覆盖多个领域，包括自然科学、社会科学、语言和艺术等。

教育类范文七 压力山大好不好

▶7分范文

Students today experience more stress at school and have to start working hard at a young age. I think that overall，this is a positive trend.

Young students have better memories than adult students. They can gain a large amount of basic knowledge if they concentrate on their studies. The knowledge base that they build during this period can help them with gaining more advanced knowledge and developing more complex skills later in life.

Schools are also places where young students form study habits. Studying hard and trying to achieve good marks in examinations will help them to become more organised，manage their time more efficiently and handle stress better. These will be essential habits and skills for their future academic achievements，professional successes and even a lifetime of continuous learning.

Admittedly，high levels of stress are counterproductive to learning. Young students may find it hard for them to concentrate on their studies or to think clearly if they are under too much stress. However，by frequently communicating with their children about their problems and difficulties at school and cooperating with teachers closely in educating their children，parents can help their children to relieve stress and reduce stress to a healthy level.

For the reasons mentioned above，it seems to me that a reasonable level of stress can help young students to achieve their academic potential. Parents and teachers should communicate with children regularly to help them to cope with stress. Also，schools should provide students with interesting extra-curricular activities to help them to reduce stress and anxiety.

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由于学习竞争日益激烈，年轻学生在学校经受更大的压力而且从小就必须努力学习。总体而言，我认为这是一种积极现象。

年轻学生比成年学生的记忆力要好得多。如果他们能够安下心来学习就能获得大量的基础知识。他们在这段时间所打下的知识基础能为将来学习更高端的知识以及学习更复杂的技术提供帮助。

另外，学校还是学生养成良好学习习惯的地方。努力学习并争取良好的考试成绩让他们变得做事更有条理，能更好地管理时间及控制压力。这些重要品质和技能对他们未来的学术成就、职业生涯甚至终生学习的过程起着重要的作用。

诚然，过大的压力会使效果适得其反。学生在承受过大压力的时候很难集中精力学习或冷静地思考。但是家长可以通过经常与他们的孩子交流那些在学校发生的问题和困难，并与老师竭诚合作，一起帮助学生减压并将压力控制在健康能够承受的范围内。

基于以上的理由，我认为适度的压力能帮助年轻学生更好地开发学习的潜能。家长和老师应该定期与学生交流并帮助他们应对压力。此外，学校也应该向学生提供有趣的课外活动来帮助他们缓解压力与焦虑。

教育类范文八 让学生决定自己学什么是否靠谱

【说明】

本文对双方的观点分别进行了分析，并且在结尾段给出了比较新颖的结论。

文章先写由政府确定课程可以帮助学生打好基础，并更好地满足未来国家发展对于劳动力就业的需求。再写如果学生们自己确定课程则可以更好地满足学生们的兴趣并充分地发挥个人潜力。结尾段的结论对不同阶段的学生进行了区分，提出小学生的课程应该主要由政府确定。而对于中学生，由于已经具备了一定的判断力，则应该被鼓励参与课程安排。

这种“具体问题具体分析”（其实也并不需要区分得十分缜密）的能力是很多剑桥官方7分或以上作文里体现出的一种思维素养。

▶7分范文

Education has been viewed as an essential part of individual and social development. An educational issue that has been under debate is who should make the decisions on what students study.

Some people think that students can gain benefits from a standard curriculum set by the government. Learners need a common foundation before they acquire more advanced knowledge. Without the opportunity to gain basic knowledge through courses selected by the government，students would find it difficult to further their education. Subjects and course contents decided by the government also help schools to better prepare a competitive workforce for the future. Students' own selections of courses may be random and purely interest-based. By contrast，the government can collect statistics on the labour market and hire experts to design curricula that help to prepare students for the labour market.

Other people，however，argue that an official curriculum is not always more productive. Individual students have different characters and abilities，and students in different schools may have varied needs. If all the students in the same grade in a region or country are required to take the same courses and study the same contents，their potential is unlikely to be fully achieved. Students may even feel frustrated with learning because many of the required courses do not interest or challenge them.

My own view is that primary school students should take courses that governments choose for them because they tend to lack the ability to find out courses that will best serve their needs. On the secondary level，however，schools should encourage students to participate in the decision-making process of designing the curriculum. Only in this way can secondary schools provide their students with curricula that can help them to achieve their academic potential.

词汇和短语

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语法多样性分析

◆ On the secondary level，however，schools should encourage students to participate in the decision-making process of designing the curriculum. Only in this way can secondary schools provide their students with curricula that help them to achieve their academic potential. 本句里使用了状语前置、倒装句和由that引导的定语从句

本文量化评分

■译文

教育被视为是个人和社会发展的核心部分之一。一个有争议的教育话题是，谁应该决定学生的学习内容。

一些人认为学生能够从由政府决定的标准课程设置当中获益。学习者们在掌握更高级的知识之前，需要具备共有的基础知识。学生如果没有机会通过政府选择的课程学习基础知识，就将很难继续深入学习。由政府来决定的课程与授课内容也将帮助学校更好地为未来准备具有竞争力的劳动力。学生自主选课的结果可能是随机的而且仅仅从兴趣出发。相比之下，政府可以收集关于劳动力市场的统计数据，并且聘请专家来设计出能帮助学生们满足劳动力市场需求的课程设置。

另一些人则认为官方课程并不总是富有成效的。每个学生个体都有着不同的性格特点和能力。假如一个区域或国家里同年级的所有学生都被要求接受同样的课程，就将造成他们的潜力很难充分得到发挥。学生们甚至可能会对学习产生挫败感，因为有的必修课并不能让他们产生兴趣或对他们构成挑战。

我个人的看法是，小学的学生应学习政府指定的课程，因为他们往往缺乏找出能最好地满足自身需求的课程的能力。但在中学阶段，学校应该鼓励学生参与课程设计的决策过程，因为只有这样，中学才能为学生们提供能让他们的学习潜力得到充分发挥的课程设置。

教育类范文九 请勿曲解男女平等

【说明】

男生和女生当然应该拥有平等的受教育权利（should have equal educational opportunities），但每个科目都招收完全均等数量的男女生只能是一种愿望，既缺乏实际操作的可行性（impractical），而且也违背了“择优录取”的公平准则（It would be unfair to change to a selection procedure that is based on gender rather than merit.）。

▶7分范文

I am opposed to the idea that universities should accept the same number of male and female students for all subjects.

The reasons why some universities do this are clear—to show respect for gender equalityand to encourage interaction between men and women in the classroom. These aims are worthwhile，and having the same number of men and women can ensure they are achieved.

However，I believe this approach overlooks two important aspects of higher education. Firstly，it is rather unlikely that an equal number of men and women will want to enrol oneach subject. Although the old belief that boys and girls are naturally better in different subjects may be unfounded，it is almost always true that a higher proportion of male students are attracted to math-intensive subjects such as computer programming，statistics and civil engineering，while a higher proportion of female students are interested in caregiving-related subjects such as special education and nursing. As a result，making sure that each subject accepts equal numbers of male and female students would be difficult.

Secondly，encouraging interaction between men and women in classes does not mean there must be equal numbers of each for every subject. If a class has many female students feeling that it is hard for them to compete with their male classmates，or vice versa，such feelings will only serve to reduce interaction and result in even more gender prejudice. The course withdrawal rate is also likely to be higher than that of subjects on which students are free to enrol.

For these reasons，I believe that to achieve gender equality，universities should allow students to choose subjects freely so that they can enrol on subjects in which they are really interested.

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本文量化评分

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我反对大学应在每一学科招收同等数量男女生这一看法。

有些大学采取这种做法的原因是显而易见的，是为了展示对性别平等的尊重以及鼓励男女生在课堂更好地互动。这些想法当然是好的，而在每一学科招收同等数量的男女生也确实能实现这些想法。

然而，我认为这一做法忽视了高等教育中两个重要的方面。第一，很少有可能会有同等数量的男女学生恰好选读同一学科。尽管男女天生擅长不同学科的老观点未必有据可依，但事实几乎总能证明更高比例的男生会选择需要大量数学知识的学科，像电脑编程、统计学及市政工程等理工学科，而有更多的女生对与照看、护理相关的学习领域，例如特殊教育学和护理学有兴趣。所以，要确保每一学科都能招收到同样数量的男女学生将是困难的。

第二，鼓励男女生之间的课堂互动也并非只有在每科招收同样数量的男女生这一种办法。相反地，当班里大多数女生感觉她们没法和同班男生竞争的时候，或者反之亦然，这种感受会减少男女间的相互交流，并会进一步增加性别偏见。学生们对这类课程的弃修率也很可能会比能够自由选课的科目要高。

基于这些理由，我认为为了实现性别平等，大学应该让每一个学生能自由选择学科，这样他们就能够学到自己真正感兴趣的学科。

教育类范文十 高等教育对城乡学生的公平性

【说明】

中国的城乡差距给Pat留下了深刻印象，能够放下全部工作去希望小学当半年甚至一年的志愿者也是Pat的人生愿望之一。英美的农村与城市之间也存在着差距，但是差距明显要小很多。这也许就是为什么李克强先生一再地提出：“城镇化是扩大内需的最大潜力所在（Urbanisation has the greatest potential for boosting domestic demand.）。”

下面这篇范文从财务和教育背景两方面比较有力地论述了农村孩子在获得大学教育方面所面临的挑战以及大学的责任。近年来英美大学帮助农村孩子获得高等教育的另一个常用方法则是提供远程教育课程（provide a wide selection of distance learning courses at undergraduate and postgraduate levels）。

这篇考生范文采用了只含有两个主体段的一边倒（完全支持）写法，但是因为本文里每个主体段里面的展开支持理由都写得很充实，因此仍然实现了比较强的论证说服力。

▶7分范文

Some people think that universities should try to make higher education more easily accessible to students from rural areas. I completely agree with their view.

Rural students are more likely to face financial challenges in pursuing higher education than urban students. The average income of rural families is significantly lower than that of urban families. This means that many rural parents are not able to provide their children with enough money to cover university tuition costs. Universities should therefore provide more money as need-based aid to students from rural areas to ease their financial burden and help them to concentrate on their studies.

Primary and secondary schools in rural areas are also at a disadvantage in terms of equipment and teaching staff. As the gap between the standards of living in urban and rural areas has been growing over the past few decades，it is now harder for rural schools to get enough funding for advanced teaching equipment or to recruit competent teachers. Students do not have the opportunities to achieve their academic potential at these schools. Thus，in the university admission process，universities should have admission requirements that take the rural-origin students' educational background into consideration to ensure that a fair number of rural-origin students can be admitted. Universities should also provide students from rural areas with special academic orientation programmes，and help them to become familiar with the teaching technology and methods that urban students have been exposed to.

In conclusion，although all students should be treated as equals，I believe that universities should introduce special financial and academic policies to ensure that students from rural areas can have the opportunities to achieve their academic potential through higher education.

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

本文量化评分

■译文

有人认为大学应该让那些来自于农村地区的孩子更容易获得高等教育。我完全同意这一观点。

农村地区的学生在寻求获得高等教育方面要比城市学生面临着更大的挑战。农村家庭的平均收入要比城市家庭低得多。这就意味着许多农村父母没有足够的钱去支付孩子的大学学费。因此，大学应该提供更多的资金向来自农村地区而且有资助需要的学生们发放，以减轻他们的财政负担并帮他们将精力集中到学习上来。

农村地区的中小学同样在教学设备和师资力量上处于劣势。由于城市和农村在生活水平上的差距在过去的几十年中不断加大，农村学校就更难获得足够的资金来购买先进的教学仪器和招募合格的教师。许多农村学生在这些学校中不能发挥他们的学术潜力。所以在大学录取阶段，大学应在设定录取要求时将来自农村的学生的教育背景计入考虑，由此来保证一个公平的农村学生录取人数。大学还应该向来自农村的学生提供特殊的学术适应指导项目，来使他们了解那些一直在影响着城市学生们的教学技术和方法。

总之，尽管对所有的学生都应该一视同仁，但我认为大学应引入特殊的财务和学术政策来保证农村学生有机会通过高等教育真正发挥自己的潜力。

教育类范文十一 缺乏外语天赋是否还要知难而上

【说明】

talented是指有天赋的，地道英文中还有近义词gifted，因为在西方人眼中天赋并不是父母给的，而是神赐的礼物。

没有语言天赋的孩子也必须学外语可能会导致他们缺乏学习动力（make them feel unmotivated or frustrated），而且还没自信（lack confidence），甚至有可能对学习完全丧失兴趣（lose interest in learning altogether）。如果打算对另一方也进行讨论，则可以写：即使没天赋也总还是可以学到一些关于外语的基础知识（gain basic knowledge about a foreign language），而且外语知识已经成为工作当中的必备技能之一（Knowledge about a foreign language has become an essential skill in the workplace.）等等。

▶7分范文

Learning a foreign language is not an easy task. However，I disagree with the idea that students who do not have a talent for foreign language learning should not be required to study foreign languages.

Learning a foreign language makes students more intelligent. When they study a foreign language，they need to memorise new words and phrases，and analyse a wide range of sentence structures. This helps to improve their memory and develop their analytical skills.

Also，as international business and trade is increasingly important to the economy of most countries，bilingual people are in high demand in many professions. All students， regardless of whether they have talent for foreign language learning，should take foreign language courses，which can prepare them for employment in the global economy.

It is true that some students may find studying a foreign language difficult and frustrating. The difficulties and frustration that they experience may even affect their study of other academic subjects. However，I would argue that many of them find foreign language learning difficult because their teachers fail to stimulate their interest in the foreign language. A child's talent for foreign language learning may also be hard to accurately assess at such an early age. If all students who are considered untalented at learning a foreign language were allowed to drop the foreign language class freely，much latent talent for foreign language learning would be wasted.

In conclusion，I believe that all students should be required to take foreign language courses. At the same time，students who find it difficult to learn foreign languages should be given more help so that they can also achieve their potential in foreign language learning.

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

本文量化评分

■译文

学习外语不是一项轻松的任务。但我并不同意没有学外语天赋的学生就不应该被要求学习外语的想法。

学外语会让学生们变得更聪明。他们在学习外语的时候，需要记忆新单词和短语，并且分析多种多样的句子结构。这可以提高他们的记忆力并且锻炼他们的分析能力。

而且，由于在多数国家，国际商务和贸易正变得日益重要，多种行业对双语人才的需求都非常大。无论学生对学习外语有没有天赋都应该学习外语课程，这可以帮助他们为在全球化的经济当中就业做好准备。

确实有些学生会觉得学习一门外语是困难而且令人沮丧的。这些困难与挫折感甚至会给其他科目的学习带来影响。然而，我认为这些学生之所以认为外语难学是因为他们的老师没有激发他们对外语的兴趣。而且，对于外语的学习天赋在早期是很难被准确评估的。如果被认为没有外语学习天赋的学生被允许任意放弃外语课程，那么很多尚未开发的外语学习天赋就会被浪费掉。

总之，我认为所有学生都应该被要求学习外语课程。同时，那些对学外语感到困难的学生们应该得到更多的帮助，以便让他们也能充分发挥出自己在学外语方面的潜力。

教育类范文十二 学外语的目的到底是什么

【说明】

每一位“烤鸭”同时也是an English learner，对学外语的动机都感同身受，所以这道题的ideas应该并不难想。

学外语对于去国外旅行或者工作当然会有积极作用，比如可以更高效地和当地人沟通，能够更快地适应当地的生活，而且拥有良好外语技能的人也会拥有更多去国外工作的机会。

但如果要说去国外旅行或者工作是学外语的“唯一原因”（the only reason），从严格的逻辑角度看可就过于绝对了。即使不想去国外旅行或者工作，外语技能也可以帮助人们开阔思维（broaden their minds），了解外国文化，结识外国朋友，并且给人们带来更多的娱乐，例如看外国原版电影（watch foreign films without the subtitles），读外语小说（read novels in a foreign language）等等。

当然，对于IELTS作文这样的short essays来说，没必要把这么多的ideas全都写出来，挑出几点自己最“有感觉”的适当进行论证就已经很好了。

▶7分范文

Many may say，and I agree，that today's society has almost erased all its boarders and soon will become limitless in what concerns travelling for both work and pleasure. Therefore，if this is to happen，then learning a new language is necessary.

Nowadays，learning a new language for the purpose of working in other countries seems to become more and more popular. Adults in need of money or recognition are trying to pursue their happiness far away from home. Also，the days of employers looking only for capable people have gone. It seems that today's employers are looking not only for multi-skilled employees，but they also want people who know more than their mother tongue. Sooner or later，those who omitted learning more are prone to become jobless.

However，to my mind，a new language should not be learned just for travelling or working in a foreign country. A foreign language should help learners broaden their minds. By this I mean that the new language should and will allow learners to understand more about the world itself，and maybe their ancestors' ways of thinking and acting. Needless to say，knowing another language will help us when it comes to understanding the human race，because language is the first poem of a country.

All of this being said，I believe that learning a different language should be not only for satisfying our physical needs，like money，but also our moral needs，because never before had such a big thirst for knowledge been displayed.

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

本文量化评分

■译文

很多人会说，而且我也同意，当代社会几乎已经消除了所有边界，而且为工作和休闲目的所进行的旅行将很快会变得畅通无阻。因此，如果这种情况成为现实，那么就有必要学习新的语言。

为了到其它国家工作而学习新的语言在当代变得越来越流行。需要挣钱或者获得社会认可的成年人远离家乡，努力去追求自己的幸福。而且，雇主只是寻找能胜任职位的员工的时代已经过去。当代的雇主们所寻找的并不只是拥有多种技能的员工，他们还需要不仅只会说母语的人们。那些忽视学习更多语言的人们迟早会失业。

但是，在我看来，学习一种新的语言并不应该只是为了在外国旅行或者工作。外语应该帮助学习者们开阔他们的思维。我这样论述的意思是新的语言应该，而且也将会，让学习者们能够了解世界自身，或许还可以了解他们的祖先的思维和行为方式。毋庸讳言，通晓另一种语言可以帮助我们加深对全人类的了解，因为语言是一个国家最早的诗歌形式。

综上所述，我确信学习一种不同的语言不应该仅仅是为了满足我们的物质需求，例如金钱等，而且也是出于道德情怀的需要，因为人们对知识的渴望从来没有像现在这样表现得如此强烈。

教育类范文十三 研究生经费何去何从

▶7分范文

In recent years，most of the government funding for postgraduate research has been provided to students who study natural sciences or engineering，while postgraduate research in other fields，such as the arts and humanities，has been seriously underfunded. I believe that postgraduate funding should be distributed more fairly across different fields.

I agree that the funding needs of scientific research conducted by postgraduate students should be met. Without plenty of hands-on research experience，science and engineering students would never become truly familiar with scientific experiments and methods，which means there would not be enough qualified scientists or engineers in the future. The results of postgraduate scientific research can also be published in scientific journals and directly contribute to new discoveries and inventions. Another factor that should be considered is that scientific research is often conducted in laboratories. As a result，scientific research generally costs more than research in other fields which can often be performed without expensive equipment.

At the same time，I would argue that the funding needs of postgraduate research in other fields should not be neglected by government granting agencies. Doing postgraduate research helps humanities and arts students to find the answers to difficult research questions in their areas of interest. Their research findings increase our knowledge about society，history and culture. Postgraduate research in these fields also trains the next generation of experts on the arts and humanities，such as historians，museum curators，philosophers and professors in these fields. In the future，they will continue to help their nation appreciate and explore the arts and humanities.

For the reasons mentioned above，I believe that financial support from the government should ensure equal research opportunities for postgraduate students who study natural sciences or engineering and postgraduate students who study the arts or humanities.

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

本文量化评分

■译文

近几年，多数由政府支付给研究生项目的资金被用于自然科学和工程学上，而其他学科诸如艺术和人文学科则存在着资金严重缺乏的情况。我个人认为，这些研究资金应该被更公平地分配到不同领域中。

我认同由研究生从事的科学研究对研究经费的需求应该被满足。如果没有亲自操作的研究经验，理工科的学生就无法真正熟悉科学实验及方法，这意味着合格的科学家与工程师数量在未来将会出现匮乏。另外，研究生的科学研究项目成果可以发布在科学刊物上，并直接为新的发现与发明作出贡献。另一个需要考虑的重要因素就是科学研究经常需要在实验室进行。因此，科学研究要比其他学科的研究花费更多的资金，因为其他学科的研究通常并不需要使用昂贵的仪器。

与此同时，我并不认为研究生在其他领域的研究对于经费的需求应被政府资助机构忽视。进行研究能帮助文科学生找到他们的研究兴趣所在的领域里难以解答的问题的答案。他们的研究成果能够增加我们关于社会、历史与文化的知识。这些领域里的研究生研究也有助于培养下一代的文科专家，例如历史学家、博物馆管理者、哲学家和这些领域里的教授。在将来，他们将继续帮助他们的国家去欣赏并且探索艺术和人文领域。

总之，我认为政府拨款应保证理工科研究生和文科研究生享有平等的研究机会。

教育类范文十四 拒绝做书虫儿

【说明】

与国内的大学招生主要看成绩不同，英美大学非常重视申请人的社会活动经历及由这些社会活动经历体现出来的leadership skills（领导才能）。在大学校园里，最受欢迎的从来都不是只会读书的尖子生，而是校队里面的体育明星。只做“书虫儿”（说轻了是bookworm，说重了就是nerd）在二十一世纪其实已经难以适应社会对大学毕业生们提出的综合要求了。这名考生通过扣题的实例较好地论证了这一看法。

在写本题时很可能会遇到两个短语：❶non-academic activity—指非学术相关的活动。它包含的活动在校内校外进行均可，比如volunteer work/community service等都可以算；❷ extra-curricular activity：课外活动。它所指的范围则比前一个短语要窄一些，主要是学生在校园里参加的或者虽然是在校外进行但是由学校组织的课外活动。在英美大学里最常见的extra-curricular activities包括：参加drama club（戏剧社），debate（或者debating）club（辩论社），board game club（棋类社），photography club（摄影兴趣小组），choir（合唱团），band（乐队）以及各种sports teams。

▶7.5分范文

In my country，many university students strive for high academic performance but do not spend much time on non-academic activities. However，I personally think that they should be encouraged to achieve a good balance between academic studies and other activities.

Participation in non-academic activities has several benefits for university students. Firstly，the experience gained in social activities，including community service，marketing surveys and volunteer work，can help students to better understand society and their relationships with it. These activities also improve their communication skills and teamwork skills. Secondly，unlike academic activities which are generally stressful，extra-curricular activities such as sports and artistic activities are usually fun and enjoyable. Participation in these activities can help students to reduce stress and anxiety. Thirdly，some extra-curricular activities can help to boost students' academic performance. For example，playing chess improves students' logical and critical thinking abilities，while writing for the university newspaper helps students' to develop their writing and analytical skills，which are also important skills for academic success.

On the other hand，academic study should still be the top priority of university students. A solid academic knowledge base is important for them to meet the challenges presented by the knowledge-based economy. It also prepares them for employment and career success. The opportunity to use a wide variety of educational resources at university is invaluable—a fact that many university students may appreciate only after they graduate.

I would argue，therefore，that university students should be encouraged to explore a wide range of academic and non-academic activities，not only because this makes them happier and healthier but also because these activities together form a truly productive learning process.

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

本文量化评分

■译文

在我所在的国家，很多大学生努力争取好的学业表现，但对与学习无关的活动则很少花费时间。但是，我个人认为他们应该被鼓励在学术活动和其他活动间实现一种良好的平衡。

参加非学术活动对于大学生有几点益处。首先，通过社区服务、市场调查以及志愿者工作等社会活动获得的经验能帮助学生们更好地了解社会以及自身与社会的关系。这些活动还会增强他们的沟通能力和团队合作能力。其次，与通常压力较大的学术活动不同，课余活动往往是有趣而且令人愉快的。参加这些活动有助于学生们减轻压力和焦虑。第三，一些课余活动还有助于提升学生们的学业表现。例如，下象棋提高学生们的逻辑与辩证思维能力，而为校报写文章则帮助学生们发展他们的写作和分析能力，这些能力对于学业方面的成功同样也很重要。

另一方面，学术学习仍应是大学生的首要任务。一个扎实的知识基础对于迎接知识经济所提出的挑战至关重要。它也帮助大学生为就业和事业上的成功做好准备。大学里能够使用广泛的教育资源的机会是无价的，但这一事实很多大学生往往要毕业之后才会真正感受到。

我因此认为大学生应该被鼓励去广泛地探索学术与非学术活动，那样不仅会让学生们更快乐、更健康，而且这些活动共同形成了一个真正富有成效的学习过程。

教育类范文十五 学龄之辩

▶7.5分范文

In many countries today，children start primary school at the age of six. However，people have different views about the best age for them to start school.

Some people believe that children should stay at home until they are six or seven years old. This idea is based on the belief that parents are children's best early teachers. Parents' interaction with them can build their confidence，stimulate their language development and encourage them to solve problems creatively. It can also be argued that some children are not mature enough for school before the age of six of seven. If they attend school too early，they may develop behaviour problems such as being easily distracted and breaking school rules.

Other people，including many parents，believe that an earlier school starting age is beneficial to children's later development. They argue that children's need for social relationships is no less than that of adults. Human beings are by nature social. Children should begin to develop their social skills through the communication with their peers and their teachers as early as possible. After the age of three when young children can generally understand adults' instructions，they should go to school and become socialised. Also，it is reasonable that children start receiving systematically-planned education earlier in an age of information explosion when people need to gain much more knowledge than people did in the past.

My own view is that with a more relaxed and understanding classroom atmosphere，school life should start as early as possible，which makes children better prepared for future competition in many areas. At the age of three or four，children can begin to attend half-day school sessions. Then at the age of five，they should become full-time students.

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

本文量化评分

■译文

在当代的很多国家里，儿童从六岁开始上小学。但人们对于儿童开始上学的最佳时间却存在不同的意见。

有些人认为孩子应该在六或七岁的时候才去上学。这一看法是基于父母是孩子早期教育最好的老师这一信念。父母与孩子在玩游戏时的互动可以增进孩子的自信，提高孩子的语言表达能力以及创造性解决问题的能力。同样，这种看法认为孩子在六七岁前还不够成熟到去上学。如果他们过早上学，可能会出现一些行为问题，例如容易分心或违反学校规定等。

另一些人，包括很多家长，则认为早些上学有利于孩子随后的成长。他们认为孩子对于社交的需求并不少于成人。人类本身就是具有社会性的。孩子应该尽早上学与同龄人及老师沟通，锻炼社交能力。在孩子三岁左右可以听懂大人指令的时候，他们就应该被送到学校成为社会的一员。另外，在这个信息爆炸的年代里，人们需要比过去学习更多的知识，让孩子在早期就接受系统化教育是合情合理的。

我个人认为，只要课堂气氛轻松并且理解孩子们的需求，孩子应该越早上学越好，这样能让孩子们更好地为将来在诸多领域的竞争做好准备。孩子在三岁或者四岁的时候就应该开始半日制课程，在五岁的时候他们就应该接受全日制的课程了。

教育类范文十六 成功所需要的素质是否来自大学

【说明】

本题让Pat想起了美国最著名的辍学者（a dropout of Reed College）Steve Jobs当年在Stanford University演讲时连续重复三遍的名言，“Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”。当然，它也让我想到了Bill Gates（He dropped out of Harvard University and became a co-founder of Microsoft.），Larry Ellison（Oracle甲骨文公司的创立者之一），Elon Musk（“特斯拉”Tesla的CEO，他在斯坦福大学只上了两天，是的，I'm not kidding—just two days的PhD课程就辍学“下海”了），Ralph Lauren（您肯定听说过或者穿过Polo的休闲服），Dean Kamen（国内的“烤鸭”们可能并不太熟悉此人，但他作为an inventor一个发明家在美国可是家喻户晓），Michael Dell（也许在您的大学寝室里就能找到Dell的标识）…… 这些成功的辍学者们。成功所需要的很多素质，例如创造力（creativity），工作的主动性（initiative），强烈的责任感（a strong sense of responsibility），顽强的意志（perseverance），人际交往能力（interpersonal skills），发展关系网的能力（networking skills），面对挫折时良好的心态（resilience）以及创业精神（entrepreneurial spirit）等等，在家庭、社区和工作中都能够得到有效的培养，大学教育真的未必就是培养这些素质的最佳方法。

但这名考生却一边倒地认为在当代大学里的学习经历就是发展成功所需素质的重要途径。剑桥官方评分标准对于论证的扣题度与充实度这一评分项的要求是fully addresses all parts of the task & presents a fully developed position in answer to the question with relevant，fully extended and well supported ideas，而不是具体持何种看法。不能否认，本文里的论证是扣题的，而且该考生的确对自己的观点进行了充分、深入的支持论证。因此，尽管与Pat关于这一话题的看法相左，它仍是一篇优秀的IELTS议论文。

▶7.5分范文

Success in different areas may require different qualities. However，I would argue that for most people，universities and similar educational institutions can provide the learning experiences necessary for developing the qualities that they need to succeed.

Universities offer a wide variety of learning opportunities. Academic activities such as listening to lectures，taking notes，doing assignments and preparing for examinations not only provide students with important specialised knowledge but also encourage hard work， self-discipline，focus and enthusiasm for learning. These qualities help students to continue gaining new knowledge and skills even after leaving university，thus making them more successful in their future careers.

Studying at university also helps students to think more independently and critically. For example，research projects encourage students to explore research questions，form their own ideas and develop their own explanations and solutions. Independent thinking developed over the process is important to success because inventions and innovations today require the courage to challenge old ideas and the desire to find new and better answers to problems.

Another benefit of higher education is that it makes students more socially competent. Class discussions and seminars allow students to exchange ideas and viewpoints，while group assignments provide them with opportunities to cooperate and work as teams. Students also become more open-minded and tolerant towards opinions different from their own. These are essential qualities for success in the increasingly teamwork-oriented and multicultural workplace.

In conclusion，higher education today develops the desire for lifelong learning，independent thinking and team spirit. These are the most important qualities for success in a knowledge-based，fast-changing and culturally-diverse society.

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

本文量化评分

■译文

在不同的领域里获得成功所需要的品质也许不尽相同。但是我认为对于大多数人来说，在大学和与其类似的教育机构中人们都可以通过学习来获得那些成功所必需的素质。

大学向学生提供了广泛的学习机会。学生通过听讲座、记笔记、完成布置的课业以及准备考试等活动不但可以学到重要的专业知识，还可以培养刻苦认真、自我约束、精神集中的态度以及对学习的热情。这些良好的素质能促使学生即使在离开校园以后，仍会继续学习知识和技能，并使他们在以后的事业中更成功。

大学学习的经历同样对培养学生独立、客观的思考能力很有帮助。例如，学生通过实验项目可以研究实验课题、形成自己的见解以及提供个人对课题的解释和解决方法。而在这一过程中所形成的独立的思考能力对于成功是至关重要的，因为当今的发明创新需要的是挑战传统观念的勇气，以及对找到更优答案的渴望。

高等教育的另一大优点就是它会让学生更加习惯社交交往。学生们可以在课堂讨论和论坛上交换彼此的思想和看法，还可以在小组作业中锻炼合作及团队协作能力。学生们在面对不同思想的时候也能表现得更加开放和包容。这些品质在当今愈来愈团队化、文化多元化的职场是很关键的。

总而言之，当今的高等教育能培养学生终生学习的愿望，独立的思考能力和团队精神。在以知识为基础、变化迅速和文化多元的社会中，这些都是成功所需的最重要的素质。

教育类范文十七 爱拼未必会赢

▶7.5分范文

In this essay，I will discuss whether the education system should encourage cooperative or competitive learning among students.

Some people argue that competition should be stressed in schools. They think that being competitive is human nature and focuses students on the pursuit of their own goals. Students strive to excel at competition in studies，sports or other extracurricular activities such as art contests and debates. This can help them to achieve their academic，athletic and artistic potential. However，a highly competitive learning environment may cause mistrust and unhealthy competition among students. For example，academic competition may lead to long hours of cramming，cheating or even a nervous breakdown as the competition makes students feel that they are not in control of their own lives.

Others are in favour of building a cooperative environment at schools. They believe that cooperation develops goodwill and a sense of community and belonging among students. This helps them to discover their common goals and appreciate the value of these goals. A cooperative environment also encourages students to exchange information and ideas freely. In such an environment，students tend to participate fully in group activities，such as group presentations and team sports. These activities require students to work as a team towards common goals. As a result，students who are educated in a cooperative environment are more likely to become contributing members of their community and society.

I personally believe although competition may lead to higher students' achievement，cooperation should always remain at the core of education because it helps schools to produce open-minded and responsible individuals.

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

■译文

在本文里，我将探讨教育制度究竟应该鼓励学生间的合作还是竞争的问题。

有些人认为在学校里应该强调竞争。他们认为竞争是人类的天性，而且可以让学生们专注于对自己目标的追求。为了在学习、体育等竞争或其他诸如艺术比赛与辩论赛等当中脱颖而出，学生们会付出很大的努力。这使得他们充分发掘自身在学习、运动和艺术上的潜力。然而，竞争压力过大的环境会在学生们之间导致缺乏信任与恶性竞争。例如，学习竞争可能会让学生感觉他们无法掌控自己的生活，从而导致考试前持续突击、作弊行为甚至精神崩溃。

另一些人认为学校应该培养合作环境。他们认为合作能够培养友好的态度、社区感与归属感，从而帮助学生们去发现共同的目标，并且充分地认可这些目标的价值。而且合作的环境也鼓励学生自由地交换信息和看法。在这种环境下，学生能更充分地参与到各种小组活动中，例如小组演示和团队运动等。这些活动要求学生作为团队向着共同的目标努力，因此在合作环境中成长的学生们将来更有可能成为对他们的社区与社会做出贡献的成员。

虽然竞争也许能带来更高的学习成就，我个人认为合作总是应该处在教育的核心位置，因为它帮助学校培养思想开明而且有责任感的个人。

教育类范文十八 真正的三好生

【说明】

中文里说孩子某门课没学好有时会说，“肯定是一体育老师教的。”Pat第一次听到这种说法时还觉得挺困惑的，因为在北美的中学里coaches是特别受学生们尊敬的人，大学里运动队教练们的工资更是经常比校长还要高。下面这篇范文比较有力地论述了体育课对于学生的身体健康、性格培养乃至对学业的益处，而且也给出了相关的例子，是一篇典型的7.5分档作文。

▶7.5分范文

Some people believe that physical education should be a mandatory school subject. I completely agree with this view.

Participation in sports helps students to improve their fitness. Students today increasingly depend on electronic devices for entertainment，which has caused their rates of obesity and high blood pressure to rise. PE class helps them to improve their health，increase their energy，and most importantly，help them to achieve a better-balanced，more active lifestyle that will continue into adulthood.

Another benefit of physical education is the positive character traits developed by it. Team sports，including basketball，volleyball and soccer，require children to think of their team as a whole and coordinate their efforts to win the game. This effectively develops their interpersonal and teamwork skills. Also，participation in individual sports such as tennis and gym-nastics helps students to develop the spirit of fair play and respect for their competitors.

Some people are concerned that physical education may distract students from their studies. I would argue that a proper amount of physical activity is，in fact，beneficial to the academic performance of students. Sitting for several hours on end works against learning because it makes the learner physically and mentally tired. By contrast，playing sports after a long study session gives the brain the recharging time that it needs，thus improving students' learning efficiency.

For the reasons mentioned above，I believe that physical education should be a mandatory subject at schools，even for students who are involved in after-school physical activities on a regular basis.

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

本文量化评分

■译文

有些人认为体育应该成为学校的必修课。对这种看法我完全同意。

参加体育运动能让学生的体魄变得更强健。如今孩子们对电子娱乐的依赖程度不断加重，导致了他们肥胖率和高血压发病率的不断攀升。体育课可以帮助他们提高健康水平，增进活力，最重要的是，帮助他们形成能够一直延续到成年之后的更平衡、积极的生活方式。

将体育设为必修课的另一个好处是能够发展积极的性格。特别是像篮球、排球和足球等团队项目，能让孩子们将团队看成一个整体并通过共同努力赢得胜利。这能有效地培养他们的人际交往和团队合作能力。同时，参加像网球、体操等个人项目等能够塑造孩子公平竞争和尊重对手的意识。

有人担心体育教育会让学生们在学业上分散注意力。我觉得事实上适当的体育锻炼对学习是有益的。连续坐着学习几小时会使学习者产生生理和心理上的疲倦感，影响学习效率。对比起来，在长时间学习后进行体育活动能让头脑重新充电，并提高学生们的学习效率。

由于以上的原因，我相信体育应该在学校被列为必修课，甚至对于在课后经常参与体育锻炼的学生来说也是这样。

教育类范文十九 教学的受益者应该是社会还是个人

【说明】

在当代多数国家，教育体系（education system）都在变得越来越市场化（increasingly marketised）。如果仅仅强调学校的社会作用（social roles），却忽视家长与学生个人作为消费者对学校的需求或期望（ignore the needs and expectations of consumers of education），明显是不合理的（unreasonable），也无法提供真正扎实的、全面的教育（solid，well-rounded education）。

▶7.5分范文

Some people think that schools should focus on preparing students for their future responsibilities as citizens and workers rather than on benefiting students as individuals. However，I would argue that both these goals are important to the success of schools.

On the one hand，the effort to turn students into good citizens and workers helps schools to fulfil their social responsibility. Most schools are funded with tax money paid by citizens and businesses. Schools，therefore，should help students to develop a strong sense of social responsibility and social skills that will contribute back to the development of their community and their country. For example，in civics class，students can be taught about the rights and duties of citizens，while team sports in PE class help them to improve their skills to work with others. Schools should also provide training courses that prepare students for the labour market. In this way，schools help to prepare a competitive workforce for their country's future economic growth.

On the other hand，it is important that schools try to benefit their students as individuals. If schools only focus on their social responsibility and ignore students' own interests and career goals，they may fail to provide courses and training opportunities that students are really interested in. This can lead to inefficient and unproductive learning，and defeat the socialpurpose of schools. Students may even find education that ignores their needs frustrating，and leave school with negative attitudes.

In conclusion，schools should not only aim to produce responsible citizens and competent workers but also try to ensure that students are treated as valued individuals and can have their individual needs met.

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

语法多样性分析

◆ Students may even find education that ignores their individual needs frustrating. 本句里find+宾语+frustrating构成了find+宾语+宾语补足语的宾补结构

本文量化评分

■译文

有些人认为学校应该注重帮助学生为将来作为公民和劳动者所需要承担的责任做好准备，而不是注重让学生个人获益。但我认为这两个目标对于学校的成功都很重要。

一方面，将孩子们教育成合格公民和工人的努力有助于学校完成它们的社会义务。大多数学校都是由公民与企业交纳的税金来资助的。因此学校应该帮助学生们发展能够回馈社区与国家发展的强烈的社会责任感和社会技能。例如，学生在公民课上可以被教授关于公民的权利与义务的知识，而体育课上的团队运动则让学生发展与其他人合作的技能。而且学校应该提供能帮助学生们满足劳动力市场需求的课程。这样学校就可以为国家未来的经济发展培养有竞争力的劳动力。

另一方面，学校使学生个人从教育中获益也很重要。如果学校只是将重心放在社会任务上面而忽视了学生自己的兴趣和事业发展目标，那么学校的课程和培训机会就可能不会真正引起学生们的兴趣，这会造成导致学习效率和效果下降，并导致学校的社会作用难以实现。学生们甚至可能会因为教育忽视了他们的个人需要而感到沮丧，带着负面的情绪离开学校。

总之，学校不仅应该致力于培养有责任感的公民和合格的工人，也同样应该把学生当成值得重视的个人，并且确保他们的个人需求能得到满足。

教育类范文二十 苦孩子翻身记

【说明】

在美国有本著名的书叫Rich Dad Poor Dad，是讲怎样实现财务自由（financial freedom）的，在几年前的次贷危机（subprime mortgage crisis）以及目前仍然可能发生的美国经济“二次探底”（double-dip recession）中，这本书更是火得一塌糊涂（It's all the rage.）。

有些人相信“宁愿坐在宝马里哭，也不愿坐在自行车上笑”。但是这篇8分范文却选择了力挺苦孩子，而且写出了比较强的说服力。但在这里必须指出的是：本文用Bill Gates作为“苦孩子”的典型例子，而且说Bill Gates的童年背景是impoverished（贫穷的）明显是在欺负考官对于美国社会知识的缺乏。全美国人民都知道Bill Gates出生于富裕家庭，老爸是知名lawyer，而且比尔·盖茨读中学时还上过西雅图“灰肠”著名的私校Lakeside School。如果要是连这样的背景也算是impoverished，那郭美美“炫富”就是“炫贫”了。

总体来说，IELTS作文对于举名人或者著名事件等“实例”的要求确实并不高，剑桥官方提供的满分范文里绝大多数都没有举像这样的“实例”。本文的论证扣题、充实，语言都不错，而且举出了一些比较贴切的“泛例”，对于重在测试英语能力而非考查思维深度的IELTS作文来说依然是一篇值得认真体会的范例。

▶8分范文

I do agree with the statement that children brought up in poor families are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents.

Children of poor parents are prematurely exposed to the problems of adult life，e. g. learning to survive on a low family income and sacrificing luxuries for essential items. These children begin to see the realities of life in their home or social environment. Their parents' own struggles serve as an example to them.

These children are taught necessary skills for survival as an adult from a very early age. Many children e. g. work at weekends or on holidays to either collect some pocket money or even contribute to their family income. A good example is the children who accompany their parents to sell produce at the market. They make a direct contribution to their families in terms of labour and income.

Children of poor families also are highly motivated. They tend to set high goals to improve their economic and social situation. A relevant example would be Mr Bill Gates（founder of Microsoft Corporation）. He had an impoverished background but he used his talent and motivation to set up the world's largest computer organisation.

However，there are some problems that children from poor backgrounds do encounter. Many of these children who are “robbed”of their childhood，e. g. while working，may feel cheated. They often turn to crime. This，however，is a small group.

In summary，children with impoverished backgrounds are able to deal with problems of adult life because of early exposure，family role models and sheer motivation.

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

语法多样性分析

◆ Children with impoverished backgrounds are able to deal with problems of adult life because of early exposure，family role models and sheer motivation. 本句里的because of后面连续使用了三个名词短语，构成工整的平行结构

■译文

我同意在穷人家庭里被抚养大的孩子比在富裕家庭里被抚养大的孩子对成年后所面对的问题准备得更充分的意见。

贫穷父母的孩子们早于常人就接触到成年生活的种种问题，例如要学会依靠很低的家庭收入去生存，为了基本的生活需求而放弃非必要的享受等。这些孩子们在家中和社会环境下目睹生活的真实一面。他们的家长自身与生活的抗争对他们来说就是范例。

这些孩子从很小就被传授作为成年人所需的生存技能。例如，很多儿童在周末或者假期去工作以获取零花钱，甚至要为家庭的收入尽自己的一份力。一个很有说服力的例子是那些跟随家长去市场卖蔬果的孩子们。就劳动力和收入而言，他们都为家庭做出直接的贡献。

贫穷家庭的孩子们也有更强的动力。他们往往为改善自己的经济与社会状况设定很高的目标。一个相关的例子是比尔·盖茨先生（微软公司的创始人）。他出身贫寒，但他利用自己的天赋和动力建立了世界上最大的计算机机构。

然而，出身贫困的孩子们也会遇到一些问题。他们中的很多人在工作时被“剥夺”了童年，也许会感到被欺骗，并常常走上犯罪的道路。但这只是一个小群体。

总之，出身贫寒的孩子们能够更好地解决成年生活中的问题，因为他们在少年时代就接触到这些问题，有家长作为榜样，而且有很强的动力。

教育类范文二十一 一位平淡是真的考官关于教育类话题的发言：电脑给儿童带来的影响

这道题的ideas不难想：

使用计算机可能影响孩子的视力和身体姿态（physical posture），一些电脑游戏可能导致孩子产生暴力倾向（violent tendencies），长期过度使用电脑还可能使孩子缺乏社会交往（social interaction），这些都是负面的结果。而孩子使用电脑积极的方面则是可以培养计算机操作技能和快速获取信息的能力等。

平心而论，这篇考官满分范文使用的素材扣题但却“平淡无奇”，词句并没有达到让人“拍案叫好”的程度，连接词都是最“不稀罕”的，有些句子只有短短的十三四个单词，并没有处心积虑地追求“用长难句密集轰炸”的效果。但正是通过对这些平淡内容的准确使用，考官仍然交出了一份充实、有整体感并且有说服力的满分答卷。

作为英语语言水平考试，IELTS Writing真的并不需要独出心裁，能够体现出相对扎实的写作基本功才是夺取高分的“王道”。

▶9分范文

考题类型：agree or disagree型

结构选择：带有明显倾向性的五段式

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

语法多样性分析

◆ These are often electronic games that tend to be very intense and rather violent. 本句里使用了由that引导的定语从句，而且very intense和rather violent之间构成了工整的平行结构

◆ Spending time with other children and sharing non-virtual experiences is an important part of a child's development that cannot be provided by a computer.本句里的spending time with other children和sharing non-virtual experiences这两个动名词短语之间也构成了严谨的平行结构

高分范文为什么读起来更流畅？

——对这篇官方满分范文行文衔接特点的深入分析

（推荐给需要写作单项7分的同学）

这篇考官范文的思路扣题，并且对各分论点都进行了较为深入的展开论证，确实达到了官方评分标准对于论证充实度的要求，在词汇和语法的多样性与准确度方面也做得不错。但本文更加突出的一个特点则是在行文连贯性与衔接效果这项评分上的出色表现。

中国考生对于上下文行文衔接的一个最常见误区就是把“衔接”完全等同于“连接”。可事实上，剑桥官方评分标准里所说的衔接（cohesion）其实是含有两种方式的：

（1）连接（也就是明确地使用连接词来连接上下文，简称“明连接”）；

（2）承接（也就是不使用明确的连接词、而是借助上下文之间的语义承接关系来自然地承接上下文，由于这种衔接方式比较隐晦，我们可以形象地把它称为“暗承接”）。其中，剑桥官方提供的6～7分档范文评语里全都明确地强调了连接词对行文衔接的重要作用（“明连接”）。但是在7分以上的剑桥官方评语里，却更加重视对“明连接”和“暗承接”这两种衔接方法的综合使用。

在这篇满分范文里，这两类逻辑衔接方法都得到了充分、有效的应用。

本文里的“明连接”（也就是直接使用连接词来连接上下文）实例

连接词在英语学术写作的术语里是discourse markers（国内的同学们更熟悉的称呼是linking words and linking phrases）。英语学术写作里的连接词从功能角度看可以分为两大类：❶句内连接词（经常被Pat调皮的中国学生们戏称为“惧内”连接词），和❷句间连接词。

1. 句内连接词的作用是在同一个句子里的前后两个部分之间建立起明确的连接关系。有些句内连接词只能用在句子中部或句子后部，另一些句内连接词则既可以用在句子中部或后部，也可以用在句首，还有一些句内连接词则更常出现在句首。但不论是出现在句子里的哪个位置，句内连接词的作用总是在同一句话里的两个部分之间建立起逻辑连接关系，而不能跨句去建立逻辑关系。

句内连接词在剑桥官方范文里出现频率最高的是以下这12个^[2]：

● because（表示“因为”，它的后面必须连接从句，和主句共同形成一个完整的句子，而不能只连接一个名词。在剑桥官方范文里because出现在句子中部的实例很多，而出现在句首的情况虽然也有一些，比如剑4 p. 165的第一个主体段开始处，但总数比较少。事实上，because到底是否可以放在句首在英美本地英语教学界并没有达成一致意见，只是英美的中小学英语老师们一般都不允许把because放在句首，进入大学里教授们对于这个问题才开始有意见分歧。因此，从IELTS应试的角度来看，除非真的有特别需要，否则最好还是不要把because用在句首，以回避不必要的风险）

● because of（也表示“因为”，其实它在英文写作里有时也可以连接由what，how等引导的名词性从句，但在剑桥范文里它的后面一般是连接名词或名词词组。because of在官方范文里同样是出现在句子的中后部更多）

● as（作为连接词时as也是表示“因为”，但在它后面所引出的理由通常都是很明显的事实。as的后面连接从句，作为连接词时as在剑桥范文里出现在句首和句子中部的实例数量接近）

● while/whereas（表示对比，它们后面连接从句，与主句进行对比。在官方范文里while/whereas出现在句首和出现在句子中部的频率相似）

● unlike（也表示对比，但它的后面通常是连接名词或者名词短语而不是连接从句，在剑桥范文里unlike出现在句首的情况更常见）

● if（表示“如果”，后面连接从句，在官方范文里if出现在句首的实例比出现在句子中部的实例多）

● even if（它也表示假设，但是要特别注意：它不是if的同义词。even if的准确意思是“即使”，后面也要连接从句，用在句首多一些）

● such as（表示列举，后面连接列举出的名词或者名词词组。请牢记：当使用such as来列举时，它永远也不能出现在句首）

● although（表示“尽管”，它的后面连接从句，在IELTS作文里although用在句首要比用在句中更常见）

● in terms of（就…… 而言，后面连接名词或者名词短语，在官方范文里in terms of出现在句子中部或后部要比出现在句首更常见）

● regardless of（不论，在IELTS作文里它的后面通常连接名词或者由what引导的名词性从句，在剑桥范文里regardless of也是出现在句子后部比出现在句首要多）。

其他在剑桥官方满分范文里出现过的句内连接词还有：rather than …（而不是……）/so that …（以便……）/not only … but also …（不但……而且……）/apart from …（除了……之外）/even though …（尽管……）/as well as …（以及……）等。

请您思考这篇考官范文里出现的下面这5个句内连接词分别是怎样连接同一句话里面的前后两个部分的：

（i）This is partly because sitting in front of a screen for too long can be damaging to both the eyes and the physical posture of a young child.（because表示因为，后面连接从句，带下划线的动词就是从句的谓语动词）

（ii）It is important that children learn at an early age to use the equipment enthusiastically and with confidence as they will need these skills throughout their studies and working lives.（as表示因为，后面接从句，请注意带下划线的从句谓语动词）

（iii）Even when children use a computer for other purposes，such as getting information or emailing friends，it is no substitute for human interaction.（such as表示列举，请注意带下划线的两个动名词短语）

（iv）Their adult world will be changing constantly in terms of technology.（in terms of表示就…… 而言，请注意带下划线的名词）

（v）Sitting in front of a screen for too long can be damaging to both the eyes and the physical posture of a young child，regardless of what they are using the computer for.（regardless of表示不论，请注意带下划线的由what引导的名词性从句）

2. 顾名思义，IELTS作文里的第二类连接词句间连接词的作用就是在前后的两个句子之间跨句进行“搭桥”。也正因为句间连接词是起“跨句连接”的作用，所以句间连接词大多数时候是出现在一句话的句首或者句子前部，而较少出现在一句话的中部或者后部。

在剑桥范文里使用频率较高的句间连接词包括（注意：下文里凡是带有逗号的句间连接词均表示在官方范文里它们的后面通常会紧跟一个逗号）：

● however，…（然而，…… ）

● therefore

（因而…… ，其实在英美学术写作里therefore也经常会被当成句内连接词来用，但在剑桥范文里它作为句间连接词的情况更多）

● as a result，…

（因此，…… ，但是请注意：当as a result的后面不是逗号而是介词of时，它则是句内连接词）

● consequently，…

（因此，……，有时候它也可以作为句内连接词用在… and are consequently…这个固定结构里，请注意：consequently在剑桥官方范文里出现在句首的情况并不多）

● for this reason，…

（出于这个原因，…… ，请注意：它通常作句间连接词，但是偶尔也会出现在…and for this reason …这个固定结构里作为句内连接词）

● for example，…（例如，…… ）

● for instance，…

（比如，…… ，事实上在英文写作里for example和for instance有时也可以作为句内连接词，但在剑桥范文里它们主要是作为句间连接词使用的）

● by contrast，…（与之形成对比的是，…… ）^[3]

● similarly，…（与之类似地，…… ，用来在前后两个句子之间形成类比）

● in fact，…（事实上，…… ）

● in spite of this，…（尽管如此，…… ）

● unfortunately，…

（不幸的是，…… ，官方范文里常用它来引出和前一句话里所论述的理想状态相反的现实情况）

● nevertheless，…

（尽管如此，…… ，它在官方范文里出现得并不多）

● in other words，…（换言之，…… ）等。

现在，请您体会这篇考官范文里出现的下面这3个句间连接词是怎样连接前后两个不同的句子，实现“跨句连接”甚至“跨段连接”的：

（i）The Internet is the key to all the knowledge and information available in the world today. Therefore it is important that children learn at an early age to use the equipment enthusiastically and with confidence.

（ii）Sitting in front of a screen for too long can be damaging to both the eyes and the physical posture of a young child，regardless of what they are using the computer for. However，the main concern is about the type of computer activities that attract children.

（iii）… Spending time with other children and sharing non-virtual experiences is an important part of a child's development that cannot be provided by a computer.

In spite of this，the obvious benefits of computer skills for young children cannot be denied…

本文里的“暗承接”（也就是不直接使用连接词，而是通过上下文之间的语义承接关系来自然行文）的实例

在积极使用句内连接词和句间连接词的同时，本文同样积极应用了“暗承接”，从而在行文衔接评分项上面实现了真正多样、丰富的效果。

在剑桥范文里，“暗承接”的最常见应用位置是在一个分论点与它的第一个展开论证句之间，以及在同一个分论点后面的两个展开论证句之间。

英文学术写作理论里进行“暗承接”的方法极为丰富。其中在由剑桥官方明确认可的IELTS范文里出现频率最高的是以下这3种（第1种和第2种适合句间暗承接，第3种适合句内暗承接）：

指代

第1种“暗承接”方法

（使用指示代词、人称代词、物主代词或者定冠词对前一句话里出现过的内容进行指代，从而在前后句之间形成自然的承接关系）

指代的“暗承接”方法常用的标志词有：this^[4]（请注意：如果this后面跟表示具体事物的单数名词，那么它就是指代前一句话里提到过的某个事物。但是如果单独使用this一个词来指代上文，或者是用this trend，this development，this tendency，this experience等抽象名词来指代上文，那么它则是指前一句话的整体所讲的内容），these（它的后面加或不加名词都是指代前一句话里面提到过的复数事物），they，their，we，us，ours，the+名词，such+名词等。

请看这篇范文里出现的以下3个实例，认真思考为什么前后两句话之间并没有使用任何连接词但逻辑衔接却仍然“特瓷实”：

（i）The main concern is about the type of computer activities that attract children. These are often electronic games that tend to be very intense and rather violent.

说明：在后面一句话里使用了These（这里如果写成These activities也是可以的）指代前一句话里面出现的computer activities that attract children。虽然两句话之间并没有使用句间连接词，但是仍然在这两句话之间形成了明显的“凝聚力”。

（ii）… the obvious benefits of computer skills for young children cannot be denied.Their adult world will be changing constantly…

说明：在后面一句话里用their来指代前一句话里面的young children所拥有的，从而做到了“不用连接词，却胜似连接词”的自然承接效果。

（iii）These are often electronic games that tend to be very intense and rather violent. The player is usually the “hero”of the game and too much exposure can encourage children to be self-centred and insensitive to others.

说明：在后面一句话里两次使用定冠词the来表明player和game分别是特指前一句话里面所提到的电子游戏的player 和game，而不是泛指任何游戏的player或game。因此尽管两句话之间没有出现句间连接词，但却并没有任何松散感。

思考题：下面第二句话里的this是指代前一句话里提到的某个事物还是指代前一句话整体所论述的内容？为什么？

Young children can be negatively affected by too much time spent on the computer every day. This is partly because sitting in front of a screen for too long can be damaging to both the eyes and the physical posture of a young child.

转述

第2种“暗承接”方法

（对前一句话里出现过的关键词进行转述）

第2种“暗承接”方法的特点是在后面一句话里转述前面一句话里面出现过的关键词或者关键词组，从而不用连接词就在前后两句话之间建立起清晰明确的逻辑承接关系。

请看在本文里出现的第2类“暗承接”实例：

… it is no substitute for human interaction. Spending time with other children and sharing non-virtual experiences is an important part of a child's development that cannot be provided by a computer.

说明：后一句话里的Spending time with other children and sharing non-virtual experiences（non-virtual experience是指非虚拟的经历，也就是存在于真实生活里而不是只存在于虚拟网络空间里的经历）这部分是对前一句话里的关键词组human interaction（人类之间的沟通、互动）进行的具体化转述。因此，尽管这两句话之间并没有使用任何句间连接词，但它们之间并没有逻辑“断裂感”。

再请看《剑9》考官范文里的这两句话之间又是怎样进行第2类“暗承接”的。

Maturity gives adults greater confidence in our own judgement，in all areas of life. We are not afraid to express our opinion when others disagree.

说明：在后面一句话里既使用人称代词we 来进行了指代，又使用not afraid to express our opinion来转述前面一句话里的关键词组confidence in our own judgement。通过这样的“双保险”措施，考官确保了虽然不出现句间连接词也依然能实现自然、流畅的跨句承接效果。

并且

第3种“暗承接”方法

（句内暗承接）

无须讳言，有相当多的国内同学误以为行文衔接一定要用很“奇葩”的连接词才有效果。其实英文写作里最不起眼的表示并列关系的and就是剑桥官方满分范文里极为常用的衔接手段（cohesive device）。但是必须提醒注意：在学术文体里不能把and用在句首。事实上，几乎所有剑桥高分范文里都含有用and连接两个主谓结构形成的并列句。严格来说，and本身其实也是一个连接词，应该属于“明连接”。但是正因为它特别平实、低调，所以使用and在两个主谓结构之间进行并列并不会显得刻意，完全符合“暗承接”的要求。

请看用and连接的两个主谓结构在本文里的应用实例：

The player is usually the “hero”of the game and too much exposure can encourage children to be self-centred and insensitive to others.

说明：请体会and在这个并列句里对它前面的主系表结构和它后面的主谓宾结构的自然衔接。在多数剑桥高分范文里通常都会出现1～2句（但是也不会过多）像这样前后两个部分之间用and衔接得非常自然的并列句。

现在，已经有了以上关于IELTS写作评分细则对行文衔接效果要求的理论知识储备， Pat建议您现在再“回访”（revisit）一次范文21，而且把重点放在本文行文过程当中带有下划线和有椭圆形标识的部分。您将会对本文读起来特别连贯、流畅的原因产生更直观的体会。当然，7分作文在行文连贯性和衔接效果方面并不需要达到9分范文的接近完美的效果，但是“明连接”与“暗承接”相结合、“句内连接词”和“句间连接词”相配合的意识是提高英语写作素养的重要组成部分，而且真正用心掌握的话实际上也并不玄妙。有志于写作单项冲7的同学们应该对剑桥高分范文体现出的综合运用多种衔接方式这一共同特点给予足够的注意。

■译文

我倾向于认为每天在电脑上面花费过多的时间会对少儿有负面影响。这部分地是因为不论他们将电脑用于何种用途，在屏幕前久坐都不仅伤害少儿的视力，而且也影响他们的体态。

更主要的担心则是关于吸引少儿的电脑活动种类的。这些活动往往是很激烈而且相当暴力的电子游戏。打游戏的少儿通常是游戏里的“英雄”，对这些游戏的过度接触会促使少儿变得以自我为中心并且漠视他人。

即使当儿童把电脑用于其他用途的时候，例如获取信息或者给朋友发电子邮件，它也难以代替人类之间的相互沟通与交流。花时间和其他的孩子相处并且分享真实的生活经历是孩子成长的重要组成部分，这是电脑无法提供的。

尽管如此，电脑技能给少儿带来的明显益处也是不可否认的。少儿们今后的成年生活世界将会在科技领域不断地变化，而且互联网也是在当代世界里获取知识与信息的关键。因而孩子们在年幼时就能积极而且自信地使用电脑至关重要，因为他们在学习和职业生活里将持续需要这些技能。

我认为关键在于要确保少儿不过度使用电脑。父母们必须确保他们的孩子能够学会享受其他种类的活动，而不只是坐在家中去学习在一个虚拟的世界里生活。

教育类范文二十二 无偿的社区服务是否应成为必修内容

【说明】

本题是《剑9》Test 2真题，属于典型的agree or disagree型考题。按照剑桥官方评分标准的要求，这种题型既可以选择一边倒写法（完全支持或者完全反对），也可以选择折中式写法。这是它与D & G型考题的重要区别（官方评分标准要求在回应Discuss both views and give your own opinion.型考题时必须要对题目里所给出的双方观点都进行讨论，否则就会被判为partially off-topic）。

本文选择了完全支持的一边倒写法。从行文细节中可以看出：这名考生对于ideas进行展开论证的能力和英语功底都是不错的。

尽管本文选择了对于论证过程挑战较大的一边倒写法（即只论述一方成立的理由而完全不考虑它的对立方理由），但是本文长度却达到了299 words（《剑9》～《剑13》里面的考官满分范文平均长度也只有297 words）。作文长并不能说明论证就一定充实，但难得的是：本文里并没有只为凑字而写的“废话”，每一句话对于论证过程都确实具有实质性的作用。

这名考生对写作语言的驾驭能力同样明显高于一般考生：本文的平均句长达到了23 words（在第一个主体段里和第二个主体段里甚至各出现了一句长达35 words的句子，仅是这两句话加起来就已经达到了70 words）。像这样的超长句对于一般考生来说已经绝对属于语法错误频发的高风险区域了，但本文的语法却保持了高于一般考生的正确率。而且，该考生在本文里还准确地使用了organisational skills，charitable organisations，voluntary work，increase their employability，an asset on CV等在地道英文里很常见、但在国内同学的作文里却较少见到的实用短语^[6]。

同时，这名8分选手对英语国家文化的了解也明显优于多数“烤鸭”。例如，本文里很自然地引入了NHS所倡导的生活方式，使用college来指中学（Pat注意到国内的同学们普遍只了解用college来指大学学院的用法，但其实college在英式英语里也经常被用来指中学，尤其是准备考A-level的学生们就读的中学。在英国这些学生获取工作经验很常见，但并不是强制参加的，在本文开头段里就明确地提到了这一社会背景），以及after-school clubs不像过去那样流行等论据。这些直接涉及到英美社会与文化的内容看似简单（很多同学在看别人作文的时候都是感觉“没什么”，等到自己下笔才懂得了眼高手低的真正含义，其实是因为只有“看范文”和“读范文”，而缺少“比范文”的过程）。事实上，如果这只8分“烤鸭”没有在考前厚积薄发的积累，是很难在时间和心态都极为紧张的IELTS写作考场里想到这些与英语国家文化密切相关的内容的。

但本文也并非无懈可击，我们在读完文章之后还会再做进一步的探讨。

▶8分范文

考题类型：agree or disagree型

结构选择：一边倒（完全支持）的五段式

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

——对本文的行文衔接特点分析

（适合需要写作项7分的同学）

这篇《剑9》8分范文同样体现出了官方高分范文在行文衔接方面“明暗结合”的特点。具体来说，本文里既直接使用了also，unfortunately，therefore等连接词来形成上下文之间明确逻辑关系的“明连接”，也应用了一些不直接出现连接词，而通过上下文语义关系来自然衔接的“暗承接”。例如：

“暗承接”实例1：

Nowadays，unfortunately，teenagers do not have many after-school activities. After-school clubs are no longer that popular and students mostly go home and sit in front of the TV，browse the Internet or play video games.

这两句话之间并没有直接使用连接词，但后一句话里面的After-school clubs are no longer that popular和前一句话里面的do not have many after-school activities之间的逻辑承接关系很明确，因此上下文之间丝毫也没有产生“断裂”的不良感觉。

“暗承接”实例2：

By giving them compulsory work activities with charitable or community organisations，they will be encouraged to do something more creative. Skills gained through compulsory work will not only be an asset on their CV but also increase their employability.

第二句里直接重复第一句话里面出现过的重要短语，使得两句话之间虽然没有用连接词也有清晰可辨的逻辑承接关系。

“暗承接”实例3：

Life skills are very important and by doing voluntary work，students can learn how to communicate with others and work in a team but also how to manage their time and improve their organisational skills.

使用and连接是地道英文里常见的既能够获得流畅的效果而又不张扬的方法。

语法多样性分析

◆ Skills gained through compulsory work will not only be an asset on their CV but also increase their employability. 这句话里的gained through compulsory work是典型的过去分词短语作后置定语，表示通过必选的劳动“被获取的”技能。同时，not only后面的动词原形be和but also后面的动词原形increase之间又形成了工整的平行结构

◆ Sending students to work in community services is a good idea as it can provide them with many valuable skills.本句里使用了动名词短语作主语的结构

◆ Healthy life balance and exercise are strongly promoted by the NHS，and therefore any kind of spare time charity work will prevent from sitting and doing nothing. 同一句话里既出现了被动语态，又有主动语态，增加了语态的多样化。但同时需要强调的是：不宜在IELTS作文里过度地使用被动语态，动词形式仍应以主动语态为主。任何一种实现句式多样化的方法都只应该是点缀而不能成为主流，否则它就变成了另一种单调

◆ Life skills are very important and by doing voluntary work，students can learn how to communicate with others and work in a team but also how to manage their time and improve their organisational skills. Nowadays，unfortunately，teenagers do not have many after-school activities. 这两句话使用了IELTS考官爱用的“长短句结合”的写法，第一句话长达35 words，而第二句话却只有9个单词，形成了句式的丰富多样感

本文的缺陷在哪里

作为一篇8分范文，本文存在着一些不算太严重但仍然“不够完美”的问题。除在上文里我们已经指出的在论证充实度与扣题度和行文连贯性与衔接效果两项评分上面存在的问题之外，本文在用词和语法方面也同样存在着一些小失误。例如：

（i）After-school clubs are no longer that popular and students mostly go home and sit in front of the TV，browse the Internet or play video games.

that popular里面的that并不是连词或代词，而是一个很口语化的副词，意思是“那么”，接近于so。请您不要在学术风格的作文里这样去使用that。

（ii）Life skills are very important and by doing voluntary work，students can learn how to communicate with others and work in a team but also how to manage their time and improve their organisational skills.

这名同学的写句子能力显然已经飞越了普通烤鸭的水平，但这句话并非完美无瑕。如果在learn和how to之间加上not only，与下文的but also how to之间形成严谨的平行结构，本句话的结构将会清晰很多。对于这个长达35 words的句子，即使这位英语基础不错的8分考生也还是出现了失误。英语基础不如这位同学的读者更应该引以为戒。写作里好句子的首要标准永远是语法和表意是否正确，如果超出自己的英语实力去追求“飙”长句而导致语法错误或者表意不清是不值得的。

■译文

有些人建议高中生应参加一些无偿社区服务作为高中学习项目的一个必修内容。多数高中^[7]已经在提供获得工作经验的机会，但它们并非必修。在我看来，让学生们参加社区服务是一个很好的想法，因为这能够为他们提供很多宝贵的技能。

生活技能是非常重要的，而且通过从事义务工作，学生们不仅可以学会与他人沟通和作为团队去集体工作，而且能学会管理他们的时间并且提高规划事务的能力。不幸的是，当今的青少年们并没有许多课后活动。课后的社团不再受欢迎，学生们多数都是回到家去坐到电视机前、上网或是打电子游戏。

通过强制参加慈善与社区组织的活动，他们将被鼓励做一些更有创造力的事情。通过必须从事的工作所获得的技能不仅将成为他们个人简历上的亮点，而且能提高他们的就业适应性。学生们也会形成对于工作和收入的尊重，因为他们会意识到挣钱并不容易，而且有望学会更加实际的消费方式。

NHS大力推动健康的对于生活方式的平衡和身体锻炼，任何种类的业余慈善工作都会防止缺乏运动的久坐。它很可能还会降低高中年龄阶段的犯罪率。如果学生们有活动可以参加，他们就不会感到无聊并想出一些对于他们自己或周围环境构成危险的荒唐主意了。

总之，我认为这是一个很好的想法，而且我希望这一项目将会在高中里很快得到开展。

教育类范文二十三 一位文风自由的考官关于教育话题的思考：是否一定要寓教于乐？

【解题】

题目里的这种观点明显太“法西斯”了：难道孩子们就一定不能为了休闲而休闲吗？很多活动貌似并没有直接的教育性，但孩子们却可以从中懂得很多生活的道理，这样的活动是必要的。如果什么活动都要求必须有教育意义，最终只能让孩子们彻底丧失对一切休闲活动的兴趣。

▶9分范文

考题类型：agree or disagree型

结构选择：带有明显倾向性的4段式

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

语法多样性分析

◆ Today，education has become a priority for many parents seeking to secure a good future for their children in this rapidly changing world. 在本句里考官连用了两个现在分词短语作定语，分别修饰parents和world。如果不使用这两个现在分词短语的话，分别改用由who引导的定语从句和由that引导的定语从句也可以表达出同样的意思，但是必然会显得相当拖沓冗长

教育类范文二十四 男校女校or男女合校

【说明】

又是一道D & G型的考题，双方观点都要讨论是没跑儿了。

其实早在数十年前，L. G. Alexander先生（也就是中国同学们非常熟悉的《新概念英语》的作者）就已经在Any Form of Education Other Than Co-education Is Simply Unthinkable一文里对这个话题进行过极为彻底的论述了。相对于亚历山大先生那篇近500字的长文来说，这篇只有305 words的雅思考官范文是平淡的，甚至过于浅易：素材中规中矩，用词也不难，而结构也是典型的四段折中式。

关于男女分校的好处，这名考官写了它可以让学生更专心于学业，而且如果全校都是男孩或者女孩，那么学生肯定也会较少受到性别偏见的影响。而关于男女合校的好处，该考官则谈到了学生不会出现情感发展迟缓的问题，而且男孩女孩之间也可以互相学习对方更擅长的领域。这些其实都只是常识性的ideas，与亚历山大先生富有文采与哲思的作品实在不能相提并论。

但这就是IELTS作文的准确定位：IELTS写作要考查的不是才华，而是行文、结构、用词和语法的基本功；不是“文采”或者“艺术性”，而是你在40分钟左右的时间里有没有能力写出一篇言之成理的短文，而且错误不要太多而已。从这个意义上来讲，本文仍是一篇出色的雅思满分范文。

▶9分范文

考题类型：Discuss both views+your own opinion型

结构选择：比较均衡的四段式

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

本文里的“明连接”和“暗承接”应用实例

（适合需要写作单项7分的同学）

◆ Some educationalists think it is more effective to educate boys and girls in single-sex schools because they believe this environment reduces distractions and encourages pupils to concentrate on their studies. 本句里使用了句内连接词because

◆ Some countries have single-sex education models，while in others both single sex and mixed schools co-exist. 这句话里出现了句内连接词while，由它连接的从句与主句进行对比（提示：while有时也可以用在句首，但是作为一个“句内连接词”，它的作用只能是在同一句话内部的前后两个部分之间形成逻辑关系，而不能是跨句去形成逻辑关系。如果要在前后两个句子之间建立跨句对比关系，请在两句话之间使用By contrast，… ）

◆ It also allows more equality among pupils and gives more opportunity to all those at the school to choose subjects more freely without gender prejudice. For example，a much higher proportion of girls study science to a high level when they attend girls' schools than their counterparts in mixed schools do. Similarly，boys in single-sex schools are more likely to take cookery classes and to study languages，which are often thought of as traditional subjects for girls. 这三句话之间分别使用了句间连接词For example，（表示进行例证）和Similarly，（它的意思是“与此相似地”，表示前后两句话之间的类比）。请注意：句间连接词的作用是在前后两个句子之间跨句形成逻辑关系

◆ Girls and boys learn to live and work together from an early age and are not emotionally underdeveloped in their relations with the opposite sex. They are also able to learn from each other，and to experience different types of skill and talent than might be evident in a single gender environment. 这两句话之间并没有使用句间连接词，而是用they来指代前一句话里的girls and boys，指代关系很明确，因此虽然没有使用句间连接词但仍然在这两句话之间形成了紧密的承接关系。此外，第二句话里的and也自然地承接了它前后的内容

◆ Some educationalists think it is more effective to educate boys and girls in single-sex schools because they believe this environment reduces distractions and encourages pupils to concentrate on their studies. This is probably true to some extent. 这两句话之间同样也没有出现句间连接词，而是在第二句话的句首使用This来指代前一句话里所论述的内容。请特别注意：单独的一个this后面没有单数名词时是指前面句子整体所论述的内容，而不是特指前面句子里的某一个具体单词

语法多样性分析

◆ Similarly，boys in single-sex schools are more likely to take cookery classes and to study languages，which are often thought of as traditional subjects for girls. 本句中出现了由which引导的定语从句，同时本句里又使用了被动语态（are often thought of as… ）和前面的take，study等动词主动形式形成了主被动交替的多样化效果

◆ A much higher proportion of girls study science to a high level when they attend girls' schools than their counterparts in mixed schools do. 本句里使用了由when引导的状语从句

教育类范文二十五 Pat对教育类话题的诠释A：大学到底应该传授什么

【说明】

这是一道雅思写作中的名题，而且长盛不衰，几乎已经成了每年必考的题目之一。

苏紫紫说：“大学，我真想上了你。”在二十一世纪，大学的功能设置越来越众口难调（It's hard to please them all.），这已是不争的事实。从素材上来看，毫无疑问，在这种经济充满着变数（highly volatile）的年代里，先找到一个饭碗肯定是最重要的，就业技能可以先确保毕业生们能够生存。而且，虽然经济不好，大学的学费却是毫不留情地一涨再涨（University tuition costs have been climbing relentlessly despite the economic recession.）。因此，大学重视对就业技能的培养其实也可以看作是对高额学费的一种经济回报（return on educational investment）。

另一方面，上述理由的不足之处则是：大学如何能够准确地预期几年之后的就业市场到底需要什么样的技能呢？而且，如果大学过度强调就业技能而轻视理论知识，是否将导致学生缺乏创新能力？毕竟创新（innovation）需要对于相关领域的理论拥有更深层的了解（require a sound grasp of the fundamentals）。

With the current economic instability，it is understandable that university students tend to regard universities primarily as institutions where they can acquire job skills.

This is especially true when considering that tuition fees have risen each year. As a result，the pursuit of higher education today has become a substantial investment. University students and their parents expect a reasonable rate of return which can be，to some degree，quantified by the job skills that are gained through higher education.

However，merely equipping students with employment skills may defeat the very purpose of universities. As technology expands and evolves on a daily basis，it is unrealistic to believe that university administrators and faculty are able to determine the technical skill sets that employers will require in three or four years. University graduates will need sound knowledge about the theoretical frameworks，principles and concepts in their fields of study to remain competitive in their future careers. There is also the risk that university graduates will not be capable of innovation at work because truly innovative ideas tend to come from a synthesis of the fundamental theories underpinning their fields of work，and the ability to apply these theories creatively on the job.

Therefore，the main function of universities should be to build core curricula that stress the fostering of employment skills and，at the same time， provide students with electives focusing on the theoretical aspects of their fields of interest. Universities performing this function not only help students to gain job skills but also ensure their capacity to apply these skills innovatively.

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

■译文

由于经济不稳定，很容易理解大学生们倾向于将大学看做主要是传授工作所需技能的机构。

尤其是考虑到由于每一年学费的飞涨，对于许多人来说追求高等教育已经变成了一种可观的投资，这种“上学为求职”的理念就显得愈发自然了。出于对投资收益的期待，学生和家长们都希望他们在大学中所学到的工作技能在今后能够为他们的付出带来合理的回报，而这种回报在一定程度上可以用学生所学到的就业技能来进行量化。

但是，大学如果仅仅只传授给学生工作技能的话，那么就违背了大学的初衷。从现实角度来讲，大学的管理层很难对未来三四年后雇主对各种技术的需求作出准确判断，因为技术是在以天为单位不停地扩张、发展的。拥有与所学领域的理论框架、原理及概念相关的坚实知识，毕业生才能在未来职业生涯中持续保持竞争力。只传授给学生就业技能还可能会损害到大学毕业生的工作创新能力，因为真正的创新想法既需要对专业内的基础理论进行综合，又需要能够有创新性地应用这些理论。

所以，大学的真正作用应该体现于在设立注重培养工作技能的核心课程的同时，还要向学生提供那些介绍他们感兴趣的专业内理论知识的选修课程，这样就能帮助学生在掌握工作技能的同时，将来还有能力对这些技能进行创新。

教育类范文二十六 Pat对教育类话题的诠释B：死记硬背真的一无是处吗

【说明】

Pat发现在写本题时多数中国同学都会强调重复记忆对于创造力的负面影响。但是Pat在本文里却反其道而行之，坚定地认为重复记忆依然是教育过程中具有特殊意义的环节。事实上，如果重复记忆不是被当成学习的最终目的，而是作为学习抽象概念和发展辩证思维的基础准备时，仍然不失为一种有效的学习方法。

词汇和短语

（标★的是本类话题的高频词汇或短语）

■译文

多年来，教育学家们一直都在抱怨传统的死记硬背式的教育方法在实际教学中所产生的负面作用。我不认为他们的抱怨有充分的依据。

过度强调死记硬背的确会束缚学生的学习进程，因为这种方法不鼓励孩子们对老师传授的信息去进行辩证的理解与分析。过度强调死记硬背的本质是鼓励学生去盲从教师传授的“真理”，这其实与欧洲中世纪的神职人员和中国明清时代的科举考生的学习方法并没有实质区别。

然而，我相信反复背诵的学习方式从实用性角度来看仍然具有积极意义，特别是对于年幼的儿童而言。对学龄前儿童与小学低年级学生来说，他们记忆信息的能力要比让他们分析抽象概念和理论的能力更强。作为一种学习过程，对这个年龄段的孩子们来说重复记忆要比理解抽象内容更实际而且也更有效。

重复记忆甚至对于小学高年级、中学和大学的学生也有一些益处，虽然培养思维独立对他们来说更重要。例如，在对几何公理、地理事实和化学公式等的学习过程中，一定量的重复记忆是积极运用这些规则的前提。

总之，我认为如果重复记忆不是被当成最终的学习目的，而是被当成为学习抽象概念和发展辩证思维打下基础的方式时，不失为一种有效的学习方法。

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[1]：对于“明连接”和“暗承接”这两类行文衔接方法进行配合的深入分析请看今天的第21篇范文。

[2] 中国同学们在使用英语连接词方面最大也是最顽固的误区就是误以为连接词必须要“偏、难、怪”才能拿分。然而事实上，衡量一个英语连接词好不好的唯一标准是它的出现是否合理，而不是它是否怪异。在剑桥考官们自己写的范文里使用的连接词全都是英语写作里的常用高频连接词，没有任何一个是“生僻”或者“冷门儿”的。

[3]注：Pat注意到有很多国内考生频繁地把on the contrary与by contrast混用，但这是错误的做法。by contrast表示在它前后的两句话里的内容都成立，但是它们之间存在着对比的关系。而on the contrary则是表示在它前后的两句话里后一句话所说的内容成立。因此，在英语书面写作里on the contrary之前的一句话通常都是表示否定含义的，而且on the contrary在雅思作文里并不是很常用。

[4]：英美差异：在美式写作里也经常用that来指代前一句话里出现过的内容。但在英式写作里用this来指代前一句话里出现过的内容则远远更常见，这一点是在剑桥官方范文里体现得极为明显。

[5]注：在美国和加拿大，high school都是指高中。但是在英国的教育体制里，情况却要更多样：对于实行two-tier学制的地区，high school其实相当于小学之后的“中学”，而不仅仅是高中，只有在实行three-tier学制的地区，high school才等于中文里所说的“高中”。因为两种译法对于本题写作来说没有本质上的区别，因此在这里采用国内同学更熟悉的译法——高中。

[6]注：IELTS作文里的实用短语总结在《十天突破雅思写作》Day 7里。

[7]注：本文里college一词的特殊用法请参阅本文开始处的说明。