6 Nelson Mandela (2)
原文
As a politician, and as a man, Mr. Mandela had his contradictions. He was neither a genius nor, as he often said himself, a saint. Some of his early writings were banal Marxist ramblings, even if the sense of anger with which they were infused was justifiable. But his charisma was evident from his youth. He was a born leader who feared nobody, debased himself before no one and never lost his sense of humour. He was handsome and comfortable in his own skin. In a country in which the myth of racial superiority was enshrined in law, he never for a moment doubted his right, and that of all his compatriots, to equal treatment. Perhaps no less remarkably, once the majority of citizens were able to have their say he never for a moment denied the right of his white compatriots to equality. For all the humiliation he suffered at the hands of white racists before he was released in 1990, he was never animated by feelings of revenge. He was himself utterly without prejudice, which is why he became a symbol of tolerance and justice across the globe.
From The Economist
批改
曼德拉是位政治家,也是个普通人,性格中也有矛盾之处1。他常这样评价自己2:我不是天才也非圣贤。他的早期文章中都是些乏味的马克思主义论调,其中充斥着疾恶如仇3的思想还是可以让人理解。但在年轻时,曼德拉就已显出领袖魅力。他是天生的领导者,无所畏惧,不向任何人屈服,时刻幽默感十足。黝黑的肤色让他看起来英俊潇洒4,充满自信。在南非这样一个连法律都刻上种族歧视烙印5的国度,他从未怀疑自己坚持的信念,即应平等对待所有国民6。他的伟大之处还在于7:当大多数公民获得发言权时,他也从不否认未剥夺过8白人同胞的平等权利。在1990年出狱之前,他虽遭到白人种族歧视者的百般凌辱,但从未有过复仇的念头。他是个正直无偏见的人9,因而是全世界人民心中宽容和正义的象征。
点评
1 显然严格按原文的逻辑来说,原文并没有陈述他是政治家和他是人这个事实。原文的重点是说,作为政治家并作为一个人,他有矛盾。但是这点差异是否重要?还是完全可以忽略?译文虽没有“作为”,但基本意思相似。另外,添加的“普通”和“也”应该在允许的范围内。译者需要点儿自由!当然,更稳妥的翻译仍然是“作为一个政治家……”。
2 从原文来看,as he often said himself和前面的有关系?还是仅仅和saint有关?见本单元短文。
3 “疾恶如仇”这个成语用在这里合适吗?作者在这里对曼德拉的早期作品是持否定态度的,“疾恶如仇”并不是一个负面的词(指对坏人坏事如同对仇敌一样憎恨)。
4 comfortable in his own skin是一个成语,表示confi dent in oneself的意思,如He spoke fl awlessly in front of thousands. He is really comfortable in his skin。有同学说,作者是黑人,肤色是一个因素,是否会有双关的意思?双关也许不能排除。但译者有几个选择。若仅取comfortable这个核心意思,可译成“他长得英俊,显得大方自信”;若希望将双关也表达进去,可译成“他英俊潇洒,皮肤黝黑,充满自信”。但上面的译文“黝黑的肤色让他看起来英俊潇洒,充满自信”有个问题,这样翻译是将handsome和comfortable都置于in his own skin下面,显然handsome与in his own skin不能搭配。
5 这个译法可以接受。另外一个译法就是保留原文的myth,可译成“错误观点”“鬼话”“谎言”或“迷思”(台湾用法)。此处这个词不是一般意义上的神话。
6 这又是一个大意不错,但细节有差异的句子。原文应该是他不怀疑自己有获得平等对待的权利,他的同胞也有这种权利,因为原文是his right to equal treatment和the right of all his compatriots to equal treatment。但是译者会争辩说,“对于所有国民都应平等对待”里面已经包含了his right。这类翻译当然不能说是错误,但是值得译者警惕。在细节很重要的文本中也许就是一个不可原谅的问题。请参考本单元短文。
7 用“伟大之处还在于”来翻译perhaps no less remarkably基本意思没有错,但是口气仍有些差别,译者完全可以回到原文的口气上来“可能同样了不起的是”。
8 never denied the right最好说成是“不否认”。“未剥夺过”是指行为,这里不是在说他的行为,不是在谈他剥夺过别人权利与否的问题,而似乎更强调理念。
9 句子里如果拿掉himself,基本意思一样,但是放上himself更强调他自己与他人的区别和对比。但差别细微,译者似可不计。
参考译文
曼德拉既是一个政治家,也是一个普通人,自有其矛盾之处。他并非天才,且亦如他常说的,并非圣人。他早期连篇累牍的都是些马克思主义的陈词滥调,当然文中的激愤确有道理。但曼德拉感召人的魅力在青年时已经有所展现。他是天生的领袖人物,不惧怕任何人,不在任何人面前自惭形秽,也从不丧失幽默感。他长得英俊,显得大方自信。在一个种族优越的错误观点已写入法律的国家里,他却没有一刻怀疑过他自己以及他所有的同胞享受公平待遇的权利。可能同样了不起的是,当大多数的公民都能有发言权的时候,他没有一刻否认白人同胞应有的公平权利。尽管1990年前,曼德拉在白人种族主义分子的手里饱受羞辱,但报复情绪却从不在他胸中燃起。他完全没有偏见,因此曼德拉才成为全世界宽容和正义的象征。
(叶子南译)