02 She Left Her Shoes　爱的遗鞋

She left her shoes;she took everything else-her toothbrush, her clothes, and even that stupid little silver vase on the table we kept candy in, just dumped it out on the table and took the vase. The tiny apartment we shared seemed different now, her stuff was gone, and it wasn't much really, although now the room seemed like a jigsaw puzzle with a few pieces missing, incomplete.The closet seemed empty too;most of it was her stuff anyway.But there they were at the bottom, piled up like they usually were, every single one of them.Why did she leave her shoes?She couldn't have forgotten them, I knew too well that she took great pride in her shoe collection.But there they still were, right down to her favorite pair of sandals.They were black with a design etched into the wide band that stretched across the top of them, the soles scuffed and worn;a delicate imprint of where her toes rested was visible in the soft fabric.

It seemed funny to me, she walked out of my life without her shoes, was that irony, or was I thinking ofsomething else?In a way I was glad they were still here-she would have to come back for them, right?I mean how could she go on with the rest of her life without her shoes?But she would never come back. I know she wouldn't;she would rather walk barefoot over glass than have to see me again.But Christ she left all of her shoes！All of them, every sneaker, boot and sandal, every high heel and clog, every flip-flop…What should I do?Should I leave them here, or bag them up and throw them in the trash?Should I look at them every morning when I get dressed and wonder why she left them?She knew it, she knew what she was doing.I can’t throw them out for fear she may return for them someday.I can’t be rid of myself of her completely with all her shoes still in my life, can’t dispose of them or the person that walked in them.

A deep footprint on my heart, I can't sweep her shoes away for they've left. All I can do is staring at them and wondering, staring at their laces and strapping their buttons and tread.They still connect me to her though, in some distant bizarre way they do.I can remember the good times we had, what pair she was wearing at that moment in time.They are hers and no else's;she wore down the heels, and she scuffed their sides;it's her fragile footprint imbedded on the insole. I sat on the floor next to them and wondered how many places had she gone while wearing these shoes, how many miles she walked in them, and what pair was she wearing when she decided to leave me?I picked up a high heel she often wore and absently smelt it.It was not disgusting I thought.It was just the last tangible link I have to her;the last bit of reality I have of her.She left her shoes;she took everything else, except her shoes.They remain at the bottom of my closet, a shrine to her memory.

她把鞋子留在了这里，其他的统统都带走了，包括她的牙刷、她的衣服，甚至我们摆放在桌上装糖果的银色小瓶子。她直接把糖果倒在了桌上，然后把瓶子拿走了。这个二人世界的小蜗居看上去已经和以前大不一样了，虽然原本属于她的东西不是特别多，可都给搬得干干净净，这间房子现在就如同一幅残缺的拼图，不再完整。衣柜也变得空空如也，里面的东西大多都是她的。然而就在柜子的底层，也和往常一样堆积在那里，她的鞋子却留了下来，一只也不少。她为什么要把鞋子留下来呢？绝对不可能是忘了拿。我知道她向来很宝贝她收藏的鞋子。可是，这些鞋子真的就躺在那里，还包括那双黑色的凉鞋，她挚爱的凉鞋。这双鞋有着宽宽的鞋面，上面还镂刻有花纹，鞋底已经磨损破旧，她的脚趾印还依稀可见于鞋内软皮上。

这可真让我百思不得其解，她既然选择离开我，却又不带走她的鞋？这是一种讽刺吗？还是我想歪了？从某种角度说，我又暗自高兴——鞋子既然被留了下来，那么她总有一天会回来拿的，对吗？我是说没了这些鞋子，她以后日子怎么过啊？可是，她不会再回来了。我知道她不会的，她宁愿光脚踩玻璃也不愿意回来再看见我的。可是，老天！她怎么就把鞋子给留下来了呢？所有的鞋，包括全部的球鞋、靴子、凉鞋、高跟鞋、木屐、人字拖……我该怎么办啊？任它们放在这儿，还是打包扔掉呢？我是不是每天打开衣柜就要看见它们，然后冥思苦想她留下鞋子的目的呢？她一定是有意这样做的，她很清楚自己在做什么。这些鞋子我不能扔，因为我怕有一天她会回来拿。她的鞋就这样留在我生命里，彻底摆脱对她的思念是不可能的，无论是鞋子还是它们的主人我都无法舍弃。

她的鞋子在我心中留下的深印实在难以抹去，我只能痴痴地看着她的鞋，看着那些鞋带，然后傻傻地把鞋扣系好。这些鞋子仍然将我和她联结在一起，虽然方式是那样滑稽可笑。我能记住和她在一起的快乐时光，她在哪时哪刻穿着哪双鞋子。鞋子是她的，不是别人的。鞋跟磨短了，鞋边磨破了，鞋内是她纤纤的足印。我席地坐在她的鞋子旁边，想着她穿着这些鞋子到过多少地方？走了多少的路？她最后下定决心要离开我时穿的又是哪双鞋呢？我拿起一只她常穿的高跟鞋，心不在焉地嗅了一下，我一点也不觉得恶心，因为属于她而实实在在能让我拥有的就只剩这气息了，这也是除了回忆以外她留给我的最后一丝真实存在。她把鞋子遗留在这儿，其余一切都带走了。它们躺在衣柜的底层，那个属于她的回忆的神圣角落。

单词解析 Word Analysis

stupid[ˈstuːpɪd]adj.愚蠢的；迟钝的；乏味的；眩晕的，昏迷不醒的 n.<口>傻子，笨蛋

例　I’II never do anything so stupid again.

我再也不会做这种傻事了。

silver[ˈsɪlvə（r）]n.银，银器，银币

例　He and HeIen ceIebrated their siIver wedding Iast year.

他和海伦去年庆祝了他们的银婚。

dump[dʌmp]v.倾倒；倾销；丢下；摆脱；突然跌倒或落下 n.垃圾场；仓库；无秩序地累积

例　We dumped our bags at the nearby Grand HoteI and hurried towards the market.

我们把包扔在附近的格兰德酒店后就匆匆赶往集市。

jigsaw[ˈdʒɪgsɔː]n.拼图

例　We’ve got a new jigsaw puzzIe！

我们得到了一个新的七巧板。

sandal[ˈsændl]n.凉鞋，草带鞋；[植]檀香木 v.使穿上凉鞋

例　Constant use had fretted sandaI strap to the breaking point.

凉鞋由于经常穿，鞋带快磨断了。

dispose[dɪˈspəʊz]v.处理，布置，排列；处置；决定

例　Just foId up the nappy and dispose of it in the normaI manner.

把尿布叠起来，像平常扔东西一样扔掉即可。

strap[stræp]v.用带捆扎；用皮带抽打；拼命工作 n.皮带；带子；磨刀皮带；鞭打

例　Nancy gripped the strap of her beach bag.

南希抓住了自己沙滩包的带子。

flip-flop[ˈflɪpˌflɑp]n.后滚翻，噼啪（声）adv.连续啪啪作响地 v.使翻转；使……突然转变 adj.后手翻的；突然改变的

例　He has been criticized for flip-flopping on severaI key issues.

他因为在几个关键问题上临场变卦而备受批评。

imbed[ɪmˈbɛd]v.栽种（花等），埋置，把……嵌入

例　The thorn was embedded in her thumb.

荆棘扎入她大拇指里了。

tangible[ˈtændʒəbəl]adj.可触知的；确实的，真实的；实际的；[法]有形的 n.有形资产；可触知的或具体的某事物

例　There shouId be some tangibIe evidence that the economy is starting to recover.

应该有明显迹象表明经济开始复苏了。

语法知识点 Grammar Points

①She couldn’t have forgotten them, I knew too well that she took great pride in her shoe collection, but there they still were, right down to her favorite pair of sandals.

这个句子中有一个结构“take great pride in”，表示“为……而感到骄傲”。同义词组有be/feel proud of。

例　She takes great pride in her chiIdren’s success.

她为自己的孩子们取得的成功感到无比骄傲。

②All I can do is staring at them and wondering, staring at their laces and strapping their buttons and tread.

这个句子中有一个结构“stare at”，表示“盯着看”。一般表示“注视”的单词搭配的介词是at，如look at和glare at。句首All I can do是一个句子，来做后面is的主语。

例　She stared at me, smiIing.

她盯着我微微笑。

③……she would rather walk barefoot over glass than have to see me again.

这个句子中有一个结构“would rather do sth.than do sth.”，表示“宁愿……也不……”。同义词组还有prefer to（do）A rather than（do）B，宁愿选A也不选B。

例　I wouId rather die than eat the food.

我宁死也不吃这些食物。

经典名句 Famous Classics

1.Sometimes affection is a shy flower that takes time to blossom.

有时爱情是朵含蓄的花，需要时间才会怒放。

2.It doesn't matter if you have a weakness.

有点缺点没关系。

3.Happiness is too simple, so it is easily broken.

快乐太单纯，所以容易破碎。

4.Life is not a drama；it is more cruel than a drama.

生活不是话剧，它比话剧残酷得多。

5.Ignorance turned out to be the most ruthless revenge.

无视才是最狠的报复。

读书笔记

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