第17章 IN WHICH ARE DEPICTED THE PLEASURES OF A SENTIMENT
"What！" said he. "Old Brock？ The old thief has been more useful to me than many a better man. He is as brave in a row as a lion， as cunning in intrigue as a fox； he can nose a dun at an inconceivable distance， and scent out a pretty woman be she behind ever so many stone walls. If a gentleman wants a good rascal now， I can recommend him. I am going to reform， you know， and must turn him out of my service.""And pretty Mrs. Cat？"
"Oh， curse pretty Mrs. Cat！ she may go too."
"And the brat？"
"Why， you have parishes， and what not， here in England. Egad！ if a gentleman were called upon to keep all his children， there would be no living： no， stap my vitals！ Croesus couldn't stand it.""No， indeed，" said Mr. Trippet： "you are right； and when a gentleman marries， he is bound in honour to give up such low connections as are useful when he is a bachelor.""Of course； and give them up I will， when the sweet Mrs. Dripping is mine. As for the girl， you can have her， Tom Trippet， if you take a fancy to her； and as for the Corporal， he may be handed over to my successor in Cutts's：--for I will have a regiment to myself， that's poz； and to take with me such a swindling， pimping， thieving， brandy-faced rascal as this Brock will never do. Egad！ he's a disgrace to the service. As it is， I've often a mind to have the superannuated vagabond drummed out of the corps."Although this resume of Mr. Brock's character and accomplishments was very just， it came perhaps with an ill grace from Count Gustavus Adolphus Maximilian， who had profited by all his qualities， and who certainly would never have given this opinion of them had he known that the door of his dining-parlour was open， and that the gallant Corporal， who was in the passage， could hear every syllable that fell from the lips of his commanding officer. We shall not say， after the fashion of the story-books， that Mr. Brock listened with a flashing eye and a distended nostril； that his chest heaved tumultuously， and that his hand fell down mechanically to his side， where it played with the brass handle of his sword. Mr. Kean would have gone through most of these bodily exercises had he been acting the part of a villain enraged and disappointed like Corporal Brock；but that gentleman walked away without any gestures of any kind， and as gently as possible. "He'll turn me out of the regiment， will he？" says he， quite piano； and then added (con molta espressione)， "I'll do for him."And it is to be remarked how generally， in cases of this nature， gentlemen stick to their word.
第一章IN WHICH A NARCOTIC IS ADMINISTERED， AND A GREAT DEALOF GENTEEL SOCIETY DEPICTED.
When the Corporal， who had retreated to the street-door immediately on hearing the above conversation， returned to the Captain's lodgings and paid his respects to Mrs. Catherine， he found that lady in high good-humour. The Count had been with her， she said， along with a friend of his， Mr. Trippet； had promised her twelve yards of the lace she coveted so much； had vowed that the child should have as much more for a cloak； and had not left her until he had sat with her for an hour， or more， over a bowl of punch， which he made on purpose for her. Mr. Trippet stayed too. "A mighty pleasant man，"said she； "only not very wise， and seemingly a good deal in liquor.""A good deal indeed！" said the Corporal. "He was so tipsy just now that he could hardly stand. He and his honour were talking to Nan Fantail in the market-place； and she pulled Trippet's wig off， for wanting to kiss her.""The nasty fellow！" said Mrs. Cat， "to demean himself with such low people as Nan Fantail， indeed！ Why， upon my conscience now， Corporal， it was but an hour ago that Mr. Trippet swore he never saw such a pair of eyes as mine， and would like to cut the Captain's throat for the love of me. Nan Fantail， indeed！""Nan's an honest girl， Madam Catherine， and was a great favourite of the Captain's before someone else came in his way. No one can say a word against her--not a word.""And pray， Corporal， who ever did？" said Mrs. Cat， rather offended.
"A nasty， ugly slut！ I wonder what the men can see in her？""She has got a smart way with her， sure enough； it's what amuses the men， and--""And what？ You don't mean to say that my Max is fond of her NOW？"said Mrs. Catherine， looking very fierce.
"Oh， no； not at all： not of HER；--that is--""Not of HER！" screamed she. "Of whom， then？""Oh， psha！ nonsense！ Of you， my dear， to be sure； who else should he care for？ And， besides， what business is it of mine？" And herewith the Corporal began whistling， as if he would have no more of the conversation. But Mrs. Cat was not to be satisfied，--not she，--and carried on her cross-questions.
"Why， look you，" said the Corporal， after parrying many of these，--"Why， look you， I'm an old fool， Catherine， and I must blab.
That man has been the best friend I ever had， and so I was quiet；but I can't keep it in any longer，--no， hang me if I can！ It's my belief he's acting like a rascal by you： he deceives you， Catherine； he's a scoundrel， Mrs. Hall， that's the truth on't."Catherine prayed him to tell all he knew； and he resumed.
"He wants you off his hands； he's sick of you， and so brought here that fool Tom Trippet， who has taken a fancy to you. He has not the courage to turn you out of doors like a man； though indoors he can treat you like a beast. But I'll tell you what he'll do. In a month he will go to Coventry， or pretend to go there， on recruiting business. No such thing， Mrs. Hall； he's going on MARRIAGEbusiness； and he'll leave you without a farthing， to starve or to rot， for him. It's all arranged， I tell you： in a month， you are to be starved into becoming Tom Trippet's mistress； and his honour is to marry rich Miss Dripping， the twenty-thousand-pounder from London； and to purchase a regiment；--and to get old Brock drummed out of Cutts's too，" said the Corporal， under his breath. But he might have spoken out， if he chose； for the poor young woman had sunk on the ground in a real honest fit.