第82章

I must look up, not down, trust and honor with my whole heart, and find strength and integrity to lean on.I have had it so far, and I know I could not live without it.""Your ideal is a high one.Do you hope to find it, Rose?" Mac asked, feeling, with the humility of a genuine love, that he could not give her all she desired.

"Yes," she answered, with a face full of the beautiful confidence in virtue, the instinctive desire for the best which so many of us lose too soon, to find again after life's great lessons are well learned."I do hope to find it, because I try not to be unreasonable and expect perfection.

Smile if you will, but I won't give up my hero yet," and she tried to speak lightly, hoping to lead him away from a more dangerous topic.

"You'll have to look a long while, I'm afraid," and all the glow was gone out of Mac's face, for he understood her wish and knew his answer had been given.

"I have Uncle to help me, and I think my ideal grew out of my knowledge of him.How can I fail to believe in goodness, when he shows me what it can be and do?""It's no use for me to say any more, for I have very little to offer.

I did not mean to say a word till I earned a right to hope for something in return.I cannot take it back, but I can wish you success, and I do, because you deserve the very best." And Mac moved as if he was going away without more words, accepting the inevitable as manfully as he could.

"Thank you­that makes me feel very ungrateful and unkind.I wish I could answer you as you want me to for, indeed, dear Mac, I'm very fond of you in my own way," and Rose looked up with such tender pity and frank affection in her face, it was no wonder the poor fellow caught at a ray of hope and, brightening suddenly, said in his own odd way: "Couldn't you take me on trial while you are waiting for a true hero? It may be years before you find him; meantime, you could be practicing on me in ways that would be useful when you get him.""Oh, Mac! What shall I do with you?" exclaimed Rose, so curiously affected by this very characteristic wooing that she did not know whether to laugh or cry, for he was looking at her with his heart in his eyes, though his proposition was the queerest ever made at such a time.

"Just go on being fond of me in your own way, and let me love you as much as I like in mine.I'll try to be satisfied with that." And he took both her hands so beseechingly that she felt more ungrateful than ever.

"No, it would not be fair, for you would love the most and, if the hero did appear, what would become of you?""I should resemble Uncle Alec in one thing at least­fidelity, for my first love would be my last."That went straight to Rose's heart, and for a minute she stood silent, looking down at the two strong hands that held hers so firmly yet so gently, and the thought went through her mind, "Must he, too, be solitary all his life? I have no dear lover as my mother had, why cannot I make him happy and forget myself?"It did not seem very hard, and she owned that, even while she told herself that compassion was no equivalent for love.She wanted to give all she could, and keep as much of Mac's affection as she honestly might, because it seemed to grow more sweet and precious when she thought of putting it away.

"You will be like Uncle in happier ways than that, I hope, for you, too, must have a high ideal and find her and be happy," she said, resolving to be true to the voice of conscience, not be swayed by the impulse of the moment.

"I have found her, but I don't see any prospect of happiness, do you?" he asked wistfully.

"Dear Mac, I cannot give you the love you want, but I do trust and respect you from the bottom of my heart, if that is any comfort," began Rose, looking up with eyes full of contrition for the pain her reply must give.

She got no further, however, for those last words wrought a marvelous change in Mac.Dropping her hands, he stood erect, as if inspired with sudden energy and hope, while over his face there came a brave, bright look, which for the moment made him a nobler and comelier man than ever handsome Prince had been.

"It is a comfort!" he said, in a tone of gratitude that touched her very much."You said your love must be founded on respect, and that you have given me­why can I not earn the rest? I'm nothing now, but everything is possible when one loves with all his heart and soul and strength.

Rose, I will be your hero if a mortal man can, even though I have to work and wait for years.I'll make you love me, and be glad to do it.

Don't be frightened.I've not lost my wits­I've just found them.Idon't ask anything­I'll never speak of my hope, but it is no use to stop me.I must try it, and I will succeed!"With the last words, uttered in a ringing voice while his face glowed, his eyes shone, and he looked as if carried out of himself by the passion that possessed him, Mac abruptly left the room, like one eager to change words to deeds and begin his task at once.

Rose was so amazed by all this that she sat down trembling a little, not with fear or anger, but a feeling half pleasure, half pain, and a sense of some new power­subtle, strong, and sweet­that had come into her life.It seemed as if another Mac had taken the place of the one she had known so long­an ardent, ambitious man, ready for any work now that the magical moment had come when everything seems possible to love.

If hope could work such a marvelous change for a moment, could not happiness do it for a lifetime? It would be an exciting experiment to try, she thought, remembering the sudden illumination which made that familiar face both beautiful and strange.