第85章 The doves sate upon the window-ledge and lowly coo
Being a poor creature and timorous and weak--""Weak!weak!"the duchess cried,amid a greater flood of streaming tears--"ay,I have dared to call you so,who have the heart of a great lioness.Oh,sweet Anne--weak!""'Twas love,"Anne whispered."Your love was strong,and so was mine.That other love was not for me.I knew that my long woman's life would pass without it--for woman's life is long,alas!if love comes not.But you were love's self,and I worshipped you and it;and to myself I said--praying forgiveness on my knees--that one woman should know love if I did not.And being so poor and imperfect a thing,what mattered if I gave my soul for you--and love,which is so great,and rules the world.Look at the doves,sister,look at them,flying past the heavenly blueness--and she said I did no wrong."Her hand was wet with tears fallen upon it,as her duchess sister knelt,and held and kissed it,sobbing.
"You knew,poor love,you knew!"she cried.
"Ay,all of it I knew,"Anne said--"his torture of you and the madness of your horror.And when he forced himself within the Panelled Parlour that day of fate,I knew he came to strike some deadly blow;and in such anguish I waited in my chamber for the end,that when it came not,I crept down,praying that somehow I might come between--and I went in the room!""And there--what saw you?"quoth the duchess,shuddering."Somewhat you must have seen,or you could not have known.""Ay,"said Anne,"and heard!"and her chest heaved.
"Heard!"cried Clorinda."Great God of mercy!""The room was empty,and I stood alone.It was so still I was afraid;it seemed so like the silence of the grave;and then there came a sound--a long and shuddering breath--but one--and then--"The memory brought itself too keenly back,and she fell a-shivering.
"I heard a slipping sound,and a dead hand fell on the floor-lying outstretched,its palm turned upwards,showing beneath the valance of the couch."She threw her frail arms round her sister's neck,and as Clorinda clasped her own,breathing gaspingly,they swayed together.
"What did you then?"the duchess cried,in a wild whisper.
"I prayed God keep me sane--and knelt--and looked below.I thrust it back--the dead hand,saying aloud,'Swoon you must not,swoon you must not,swoon you shall not--God help!God help!'--and I saw!--the purple mark--his eyes upturned--his fair curls spread;and Ilost strength and fell upon my side,and for a minute lay there--knowing that shudder of breath had been the very last expelling of his being,and his hand had fallen by its own weight.""O God!O God!O God!"Clorinda cried,and over and over said the word,and over again.
"How was't--how was't?"Anne shuddered,clinging to her."How was't 'twas done?I have so suffered,being weak--I have so prayed!God will have mercy--but it has done me to death,this knowledge,and before I die,I pray you tell me,that I may speak truly at God's throne.""O God!O God!O God!"Clorinda groaned--"O God!"and having cried so,looking up,was blanched as a thing struck with death,her eyes like a great stag's that stands at bay.
"Stay,stay!"she cried,with a sudden shock of horror,for a new thought had come to her which,strangely,she had not had before.
"You thought I MURDERED him?"
Convulsive sobs heaved Anne's poor chest,tears sweeping her hollow cheeks,her thin,soft hands clinging piteously to her sister's.
"Through all these years I have known nothing,"she wept--"sister,Ihave known nothing but that I found him hidden there,a dead man,whom you so hated and so feared."Her hands resting upon the bed's edge,Clorinda held her body upright,such passion of wonder,love,and pitying adoring awe in her large eyes as was a thing like to worship.
"You thought I MURDERED him,and loved me still,"she said."You thought I murdered him,and still you shielded me,and gave me chance to live,and to repent,and know love's highest sweetness.
You thought I murdered him,and yet your soul had mercy.Now do Ibelieve in God,for only a God could make a heart so noble.""And you--did not--"cried out Anne,and raised upon her elbow,her breast panting,but her eyes growing wide with light as from stars from heaven."Oh,sister love--thanks be to Christ who died!"The duchess rose,and stood up tall and great,her arms out-thrown.
"I think 'twas God Himself who did it,"she said,"though 'twas Iwho struck the blow.He drove me mad and blind,he tortured me,and thrust to my heart's core.He taunted me with that vile thing Nature will not let women bear,and did it in my Gerald's name,calling on him.And then I struck with my whip,knowing nothing,not seeing,only striking,like a goaded dying thing.He fell--he fell and lay there--and all was done!""But not with murderous thought--only through frenzy and a cruel chance--a cruel,cruel chance.And of your own will blood is not upon your hand,"Anne panted,and sank back upon her pillow.
"With deepest oaths I swear,"Clorinda said,and she spoke through her clenched teeth,"if I had not loved,if Gerald had not been my soul's life and I his,I would have stood upright and laughed in his face at the devil's threats.Should I have feared?You know me.
Was there a thing on earth or in heaven or hell I feared until love rent me.'Twould but have fired my blood,and made me mad with fury that dares all.'Spread it abroad!'I would have cried to him.