第90章

Alas! my subsequent misfortunes have failed to lessen the faults Ilearned through opulence.My father," she continued, with a sigh, "the Duc de Verneuil, died, after duly recognizing me as his daughter and making provisions for me by his will, which considerably reduced the fortune of my brother, his legitimate son.I found myself one day without a home and without a protector.My brother contested the will which made me rich.Three years of my late life had developed my vanity.By satisfying all my fancies my father had created in my nature a need of luxury, and given me habits of self-indulgence of which my own mind, young and artless as it then was, could not perceive either the danger or the tyranny.A friend of my father, the Marechal Duc de Lenoncourt, then seventy years old, offered to become my guardian, and I found myself, soon after the termination of the odious suit, in a brilliant home, where I enjoyed all the advantages of which my brother's cruelty had deprived me.Every evening the old marechal came to sit with me and comfort me with kind and consoling words.His white hair and the many proofs he gave me of paternal tenderness led me to turn all the feelings of my heart upon him, and Ifelt myself his daughter.I accepted his presents, hiding none of my caprices from him, for I saw how he loved to gratify them.I heard one fatal evening that all Paris believed me the mistress of the poor old man.I was told that it was then beyond my power to recover an innocence thus gratuitously denied me.They said that the man who had abused my inexperience could not be lover, and would not be my husband.The week in which I made this horrible discovery the duke left Paris.I was shamefully ejected from the house where he had placed me, and which did not belong to him.Up to this point I have told you the truth as though I stood before God; but now, do not ask a wretched woman to give account of sufferings which are buried in her heart.The time came when I found myself married to Danton.A few days later the storm uprooted the mighty oak around which I had thrown my arms.Again I was plunged into the worst distress, and I resolved to kill myself.I don't know whether love of life, or the hope of wearying ill-fortune and of finding at the bottom of the abyss the happiness which had always escaped me were, unconsciously to myself, my advisers, or whether I was fascinated by the arguments of a young man from Vendome, who, for the last two years, has wound himself about me like a serpent round a tree,--in short, I know not how it is that Iaccepted, for a payment of three hundred thousand francs, the odious mission of making an unknown man fall in love with me and then betraying him.I met you; I knew you at once by one of those presentiments which never mislead us; yet I tried to doubt my recognition, for the more I came to love you, the more the certainty appalled me.When I saved you from the hands of Hulot, I abjured the part I had taken; I resolved to betray the slaughterers, and not their victim.I did wrong to play with men, with their lives, their principles, with myself, like a thoughtless girl who sees only sentiments in this life.I believed you loved me; I let myself cling to the hope that my life might begin anew; but all things have revealed my past,--even I myself, perhaps, for you must have distrusted a woman so passionate as you have found me.Alas! is there no excuse for my love and my deception? My life was like a troubled sleep; I woke and thought myself a girl; I was in Alencon, where all my memories were pure and chaste.I had the mad simplicity to think that love would baptize me into innocence.For a moment I thought myself pure, for I had never loved.But last night your passion seemed to me true, and a voice cried to me, 'Do not deceive him.' Monsieur le marquis," she said, in a guttural voice which haughtily challenged condemnation, "know this; I am a dishonored creature, unworthy of you.

From this hour I accept my fate as a lost woman.I am weary of playing a part,--the part of a woman to whom you had brought back the sanctities of her soul.Virtue is a burden to me.I should despise you if you were weak enough to marry me.The Comte de Bauvan might commit that folly, but you--you must be worthy of your future and leave me without regret.A courtesan is too exacting; I should not love you like the simple, artless girl who felt for a moment the delightful hope of being your companion, of making you happy, of doing you honor, of becoming a noble wife.But I gather from that futile hope the courage to return to a life of vice and infamy, that I may put an eternal barrier between us.I sacrifice both honor and fortune to you.

The pride I take in that sacrifice will support me in my wretchedness, --fate may dispose of me as it will.I will never betray you.I shall return to Paris.There your name will be to me a part of myself, and the glory you win will console my grief.As for you, you are a man, and you will forget me.Farewell."She darted away in the direction of the gorges of Saint-Sulpice, and disappeared before the marquis could rise to detain her.But she came back unseen, hid herself in a cavity of the rocks, and examined the young man with a curiosity mingled with doubt.Presently she saw him walking like a man overwhelmed, without seeming to know where he went.

"Can he be weak?" she thought, when he had disappeared, and she felt she was parted from him."Will he understand me?" She quivered.Then she turned and went rapidly towards Fougeres, as though she feared the marquis might follow her into the town, where certain death awaited him.

"Francine, what did he say to you?" she asked, when the faithful girl rejoined her.