第64章

There was another dead silence, and Madame, turning with patronising and heavy affability towards Lady Julia, added,--"Your ladyship doubtless loves the Mouse--/Mus Pulcherrimo/--in spring as I do?"The Prophet felt as if he were being pricked by thousands of red-hot needles, and the perspiration burst out in beads upon his forehead.

"I am not specially fond of mice in spring, or indeed at any season,"replied Lady Julia, with her slight, but very distinct and bell-like, cough.

"I said the Mouse, your ladyship," returned Madame, feeding upon this titled acquaintance with her bulging black eyes, and pushing the kid boots well out from under her brown skirt."I observed that the Mouse was peculiarly delicious in the season of love.""No mouse attracts me," said Lady Julia, coughing again and raising her fine eyebrows slightly."I should much prefer to pass the spring without the companionship of any mouse whatever."Both Madame and Mr.Sagittarius opened their lips to reply, but before they could eject a single word the door was opened by Mr.Ferdinand, who announced,--"Sir Tiglath Butt."

Mr.Sagittarius started violently and upset a vase of roses, the astronomer rolled into the room with a very red face, and Mr.Ferdinand added,--"Dinner is served."

Mrs.Merillia shook hands with Sir Tiglath and glanced despairingly around her.It was sufficiently obvious that she was considering how to arrange the procession to the dining-room.

"Hennessey," she began, "will you take Lady Julia? Sir Tiglath, will you"--she paused, but there was no help for it, she was obliged to continue--"take Mrs.Sagittarius? Let me introduce you, Sir Tiglath Butt--Mrs.Sagittarius.Mr.Sagittarius, will you take--""Mr.Sagittarius!" roared Sir Tiglath."Where is he?"That gentleman gathered Mr.Ferdinand's trousers up in both hands and prepared for instantaneous flight.

"Where is he?" bellowed Sir Tiglath, wheeling round with amazing rapidity for so fat a man."Ha!"He had viewed Mr.Sagittarius, who, grasping Mr.Ferdinand's suit in pleats, ducked his head like one wishing to be beforehand with violence and set the spats towards the door.Sir Tiglath advanced upon him.

"The old astronomer has heard the name of Sagittarius," he vociferated.

"He has been informed that--"

"It's not true, sir," cried Mr.Sagittarius, pale with terror."It is not true.I deny it.I am an Ameri--I mean I am not the American syndicate--you are in error, in absolute error.I swear it.I take the heavens to witness."At this remarkable and comprehensive statement Mrs.Merillia and Lady Julia looked at each other in elegant amazement.

"What do you mean, sir?" exclaimed Sir Tiglath."And why do you insult the sacred heavens, you an astronomer!""I am not an astronomer," cried Mr.Sagittarius, cringing in the voluminous waistcoat of Mr.Ferdinand."I am an outside broker.I swear it.My dress, my manner proclaim the fact.Sophronia, tell the gentleman that I am an outside broker and that all Margate has recognised me as such.""My husband states the fact," said Madame, in response to this impassioned appeal."My husband brokes outside, and has done for the last twenty years.Collect yourself, Jupiter.Pray do not doff your /toga virilibus/ in the presence of ladies!"The terror of Mr.Sagittarius was such, however, that it is very doubtful whether he would not have proceeded thus to disrobe had not the Prophet, rendered desperate by the turn of events, abruptly leaped between Sir Tiglath and his old and valued friend and, gathering the outraged Lady Julia under his arm, exclaimed,--"Pray, pray--we can discuss this matter more comfortably at dinner.

Permit me, Lady Julia.Sir Tiglath, if you will kindly give your arm to Madame Sagittarius.Mr.Sagittarius, my grandmother."So saying, he made a sort of flank movement, so adroitly conceived and carried out that, in the twinkling of an eye, he had driven Sir Tiglath to the side of Madame and hustled Mr.Sagittarius into the immediate neighbourhood of Mrs.Merillia.Nor had more than two minutes elapsed before the whole party found themselves--they scarce knew how--arranged around the dining table and being served with clear soup by Mr.

Ferdinand and the astounded Gustavus, whose naturally round eyes began to take an almost oblong form as he attended to the wants of Mrs.

Merillia's very unfamiliar guests, whose outlying demeanour and architectural manners evidently filled him with the most poignant dismay.

As to Mrs.Merillia and Lady Julia, the foregoing scene had so reduced them that they were almost betrayed into some hysterical departure from the rules of exquisite good breeding which they had unconsciously observed from the cradle.Indeed, the latter, strong in the belief that the terms outside broker and raving maniac were interchangeable, twice dropped her spoon into her soup-plate before she could succeed in lifting it to her mouth, and was unable to prevent herself from whispering to the Prophet,--"Pray, Mr.Vivian, tell me the worst--is he absolutely dangerous?""No, no," whispered back the Prophet, reassuringly."It's all his play.""Play!" murmured Lady Julia, glancing at Mr.Sagittarius, who was holding back the right sleeve of Mr.Ferdinand's coat with his left hand in order to have the free use of his dinner limb.

"Yes," whispered the Prophet."He's the most harmless, innocent creature.A child might stroke him.I mean he wouldn't hurt a child.""Yes, but we are not children," said Lady Julia, still in great apprehension.

Meanwhile Sir Tiglath, concerned with his dinner, took no heed of Mr.

Sagittarius for the moment, and that gentleman, slightly reassured, endeavoured to make himself agreeable to Mrs.Merillia.

"You are very pleasantly situated here, ma'am," he began.

Mrs.Merillia thought he meant because she was at his elbow, and answered politely,--"Yes, very pleasantly situated."