第61章

Having uttered herself, Mrs.Fancy, according to her invariable custom when completely terrified, displayed all the semblance of clear-sighted composure and explanatory discrimination.While Mr.Ferdinand remained by the wall, with his face to it and his large white hands spread out upon his shut eyes, the lady's maid advanced upon Madame, and, addressing herself apparently to some hidden universe in need of information, remarked in rather a piecing voice,--"I say again, as I said afore, the house has been broke into and the robbers are upon us.I can't speak different nor mean other."On hearing these words Madame's large and rippling countenance became suffused with indignant scarlet, and a preliminary click rang through the hall.The Prophet bounded forward.

"Hush, Fancy," he cried."What are you saying?""What I mean, Master Hennessey.The house has been broke--""Hush! Hush! This lady and gentleman are--""Two old and valued friends--" boomed Madame.

"Two old and valued friends of mine.Mr.Ferdinand! Mr.Ferdinand, take your face from the wall, if you please.There is no cause for alarm.

Now, Fancy--now!"

For Mrs.Fancy had, as usual, broken into tears on learning the reassuring truth, and was now displaying every symptom of distress and enervation.The Prophet, unable to calm her, was obliged to assist her upstairs and place her upon the landing, where he hurriedly left her uttering broken moans and murmurs, and repeating again and again her statement of affairs and assertion of inability to conceal the revealed obvious.On his return he found Madame, Mr.Sagittarius and Mr.

Ferdinand grouped statuesquely in the hall as if to represent "Perturbation.""Mr.Ferdinand," he said rather severely, "I did not expect this conduct of you, shrinking from guests in this extraordinary manner.Abutler who shows terror at the sight of visitors does not conduce to the popularity of his employers.""I beg pardon, sir.I was not prepared."

"Please be prepared another time.You will serve dinner for three to-night, very quietly, in the inner dining-room.I do not wish Mrs.

Merillia to be disturbed in her illness, and--""If you please, sir, Mrs.Merillia feels herself so much better that she is coming down to dinner to-night.""Coming down to dinner!" said the Prophet, aghast.

"Yes, sir.And she has asked in Sir Tiglath Butt and the Lady Julia Postlethwaite to join her.I was about to show Mrs.Merillia the menu, sir, when--""Good Heavens! Merciful Powers!" ejaculated the Prophet.

"Sir?"

"What on earth is to be done?" continued the Prophet, lost for the moment to all sense of propriety.

Mr.Ferdinand looked at the old and valued friends.

"I can't say, sir, I'm sure," he replied, pursing up his lips.

"What is the meaning--" began Mr.Sagittarius.

"I'm not aware that--" started Madame.

The Prophet darted to the library door and opened it.

"Pray, pray come in here," he hissed."My grandmother! Softly!""But the old la--"

"Hush, please!"

"I must remark, Mr.Viv--"

"Tsh! Tsh! Mr.Ferdinand, wait in the hall.I shall want to speak to you in a moment.""Yes, sir."

The Prophet closed the door and turned to this indignant visitors.

"This is terrible," he said."Terrible!"

"Pray why?" cried Madame.

"Why," cried the Prophet, "why?"

He sought frantically for some excuse.Suddenly a bright idea occurred to him.

"Why," he said, impressively."Because Sir Tiglath Butt, the gentleman who is coming to dinner, is the person who for five-and-forty years has been seeking Mr.Sagittarius with the firm intention of assaulting, perhaps of killing, him."Mr.Sagittarius turned deathly pale, and made a movement as if to get out of the nearest window.

"This is a trap!" he stammered."This is a rat-trap.This was planned.""Really"--began the Prophet.

But Mr.Sagittarius did not heed the exclamation.Tremblig very violently, he continued,--"Sophy, my darling, you are in danger.Let us fly!"And, clutching his wife by the arm, to the Prophet's unspeakable delight he endeavoured to lead, or rather to drag her to the door.But Madame now showed the metal she was made of.

"Jupiter," she exclaimed, in her deepest note, "if you are a Prophet you can surely at moments be also a man.Where is your /toga virilibus/?""I don't know, my love, I'm sure.Don't let us lose a moment.Come, my angel!""I shall not come," retorted Madame, whose leaping ambition had been fired by the sound of titled names."The gentleman believes you to be an American syndicate.""I know, my blessing, I know.But--"

"Very well.If you don't behave like one he will never suspect you."The Prophet saw his chance slipping from him and hastened to interpose.

"He might divine the truth," he said."One can never--"But at this moment he was interrupted by Mr.Ferdinand who abruptly opened the door and observed,--"If you please, sir, Mrs.Merillia has sent down orders that the police are to be fetched at once."Mr.Sagittarius, now thoroughly unnerved, turned from white to grey.

"The police!" he vociferated."Sophy, my angel, let us fly.This is no place for you!""The police!" cried the Prophet."Why?"

"I believe it's Mrs.Fancy's doing, sir.If you would go to Mrs.

Merillia, sir, I think--"

The Prophet rushed from the room and hastened upstairs four steps at a time.He found his beloved grandmother in a state of grave agitation, and Mrs.Fancy, in floods of tears, reiterating her statement that there were robbers in the house.