第56章

"Even in the days of the great Juvenile," proceeded Madame, "to whose satires I owe much"--here she laid a loving hand upon Vol.2 of the "Library of Famous Literature."--"Long ere the days when Lord Lytton and his Caxtons introduced us to the blessings of the printing press there were doubtless ladies who, like myself, could forget the treachery and the lies of men in silent communion with the brains of the departed.Far better to be Milton's 'Il Penserosero' than Lord Byron's 'L'Allegra!' "To this pronounciamento, which was interrupted several times by more alarming contortions of the brain-worker's face, the Prophet replied with a vague affirmative, while Mr.Sagittarius whispered,--"Her whole knowledge, sir, comes straight from there"--pointing towards the dwarf bookcase."She brought it on the instalment system.Dr.

Carter has made her what she is! That man, sir, deserves to be canonised.Eight guineas and a half, sir, and such a result!""Such a result!" the Prophet whispered back.

By this time Madame Sagittarius had apparently ceased to commune with the dead, for her striking face assumed a more normal expression of feminine bitterness as she realised who was before her, and she exclaimed sharply,--"Oh, so you've come at last, Mr.Vivian! And pray what have you to say?

What about the rashes? And what is this danger that threatens Mr.

Sagittarius?"

"We'd better take the danger first, my dear," said Mr.Sagittarius, with grave anxiety.

"Very well.Not that it should be the most important to one who wears the /toga virilibus/!""True, my love.Still, to take it first will clear the ground, I think, and set me more at ease.Well, sir?"Thus adjured, the Prophet resolved to make a clean breast of Sir Tiglath's declarations, and he therefore replied,--"I thought it only right to wire to you as I did, having learnt that there is in London a gentleman, an eminent man, who has for five-and-forty years been seeking for Malkiel with the avowed intention of--of--"

"Oh what, sir, of what?" said Mr.Sagittarius with trembling lips.

"Of doing him violence," replied the Prophet, impressively.

"What is the gent's name?" said Mr.Sagittarius, in great agitation.

"His name! /Nomen volens/!" added Madame.

"That," said the Prophet, "I prefer not to say at present.""But why should he desire to--?"

"Because you are a prophet."

"There, Jupiter!" cried Madame, with flushed spitefulness."What have Ialways said! All prophets are what they call outsiders--/hors d'oeuvres/, neither more nor less.""I know, my love, I know.But how should this gent recognise me for a prophet? I'm sure my dress, my manner, are those of an outside broker, as I have often told you, Sophy.How--""The gentleman has not yet recognised you," said the Prophet."At the moment he believes you to be an American syndicate.""Thank mercy!" ejaculated Mr.Sagittarius.

"But one can never tell," added the Prophet."He might find out.""Nonsense!" cried Madame at this juncture."We might quite well have gone to the square yesterday as I always suspected.But you are so timid, Jupiter./Timeo Dan--Dan/--well, /Dan/ something or other, as Virgil so truly says.""Cautious, Sophronia, only cautious, for your and the children's sakes!""I call a man who's afraid even when he's passing everywhere as an American syndicate a cowardly custard," rejoined Madame, who appeared to be suffering under that peculiar form of flushed irritability which is apt to follow on heavy thought, indulged in to excess in a recumbent position during the daytime."There, that's settled.So now let us get to business.Kindly hand me your prophecy of last night, Mr.Vivian."The Prophet drew from a breast pocket a sheet or two of notepaper, on which he had dotted down, in prophetic form, the events of the night before.Madame received it and continued,--"Before perusing this report, Mr.Vivian, I should wish to be made acquainted with those particulars.""Which ones?" said the Prophet.

"Of your grandmother's career."

"Oh, I--"

"Let us take them in order, please, and proceed /parri passo/.When was the old lady removed from the bottle?""Never," replied the Prophet, firmly."Never."An expression of incredulous amazement decorated the obstreperous features of Madame.

"Do you mean to tell me, Mr.Vivian, that she sucks it still?" she inquired.

"I mean what I say, that she has never been removed from it," returned the Prophet, with energy.

"Well, sir, she must be very partial to milk and Indian rubber, very partial indeed!" said Mr.Sagittarius."Go on, my darling.""Her first tooth, Mr.Vivian--when did she cut it?""She has no idea."

Madame began to look decidedly grim.

"Date of short-coating?" she rapped out.

"There was no date.She never wore a short-coat.""Do you desire me to believe, Mr.Vivian, that the old lady has been going about in long clothes ever since she was born?" inquired Madame, with incredulous sarcasm.

"Most certainly I do," replied the Prophet.

"Then how does she get along, pray? Come! Come!""She has always worn long clothes," cried the Prophet, boldly standing up for his beloved relative, "and always will.You can take that from me, Madame Sagittarius.I know my grandmother, and I am ready to pledge my honour to it.""Oh, very well.She must be a very remarkable lady.That's all I can say.When did she put her hair up?""Never.She has never put it up."

"She has never put her hair up!"

"No, never."

"You mean to say that your grandmother goes about in long clothes with her hair down in the central districts?" cried Madame in blank amazement.

"She has never put her hair up," answered the Prophet, with almost obstinate determination.

"Oh, well--if she prefers! But I wonder what the police are about!"retorted Madame."And now the rashes?"

"There are none."

But at this Madame's temper--already somewhat upset by her prolonged communion with the mighty dead--showed symptoms of giving way altogether.