The Notch on the Ax and On Being Found Out
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第82章

In returning [from the opera] along this passage, I discerned, as Iapproached within five or six paces of the door, two ladies standing arm in arm with their backs against the wall, waiting, as I imagined, for a fiacre.As they were next the door, I thought they had a prior right, so I edged myself up within a yard or little more of them, and quietly took my stand.I was in black and scarce seen.

The lady next me was a tall, lean figure of a woman of about thirty-six; the other, of the same size and make of about forty.

There was no mark of wife or widow in any one part of either of them.They seemed to be two upright vestal sisters, unsapped by caresses, unbroke in upon by tender salutations.I could have wished to have made them happy.Their happiness was destined, that night, to come from another quarter.

A low voice with a good turn of expression and sweet cadence at the end of it, begged for a twelve-sous piece between them for the love of heaven.I thought it singular that a beggar should fix the quota of an alms, and that the sum should be twelve times as much as what is usually given in the dark.They both seemed astonished at it as much as myself."Twelve sous," said one."A twelve-sous piece," said the other, and made no reply.

The poor man said he knew not how to ask less of ladies of their rank, and bowed down his head to the ground.

"Pooh!" said they, "we have no money."

The beggar remained silent for a moment or two, and renewed his supplication.

"Do not, my fair young ladies," said he, "stop your good ears against me.""Upon my word, honest man," said the younger, "we have no change.""Then God bless you," said the poor man, "and multiply those joys which you can give to others without change."I observed the older sister put her hand into her pocket."I will see," said she, "if I have a sous.""A sous! Give twelve," said the suppliant."Nature has been bountiful to you; be bountiful to a poor man.""I would, friend, with all my heart," said the younger, "if I had it.""My fair charitable," said he, addressing himself to the elder, "what is it but your goodness and humanity which make your bright eyes so sweet that they outshine the morning even in this dark passage? And what was it which made the Marquis de Santerre and his brother say so much of you both, as they just passed by?"The two ladies seemed much affected, and impulsively at the same time they put their hands into their pockets and each took out a twelve-sous piece.

The contest between them and the poor suppliant was no more.It was continued between themselves which of the two should give the twelve-sous piece in charity, and, to end the dispute, they both gave it together, and the man went away.

SOLUTION

I stepped hastily after him; it was the very man whose success in asking charity of the woman before the door of the hotel had so puzzled me, and I found at once his secret, or at least the basis of it: it was flattery.

Delicious essence! how refreshing art thou to Nature! How strongly are all its powers and all its weaknesses on thy side! How sweetly dost thou mix with the blood, and help it through the most difficult and tortuous passages to the heart!

The poor man, as he was not straitened for time, had given it here in a larger dose.It is certain he had a way of bringing it into less form for the many sudden causes he had to do with in the streets; but how he contrived to correct, sweeten, concenter, and qualify it--I vex not my spirit with the inquiry.It is enough, the beggar gained two twelve-sous pieces, and they can best tell the rest who have gained much greater matters by it.

APPLICATION

We get forward in the world not so much by doing services as receiving them.You take a withering twig and put it in the ground, and then you water it because you have planted it.

Monsieur le Comte de B----, merely because he had done me one kindness in the affair of my passport, would go on and do me another the few days he was at Paris, in making me known to a few people of rank; and they were to present me to others, and so on.

I had got master of my SECRET just in time to turn these honors to some little account; otherwise, as is commonly the case, I should have dined or supped a single time or two round, and then by TRANSLATING French looks and attitudes into plain English, I should presently have seen that I had got hold of the couvert* of some more entertaining guest; and in course of time should have resigned all my places one after another, merely upon the principle that Icould not keep them.As it was, things did not go much amiss.

* Plate, napkin, knife, fork, and spoon.

I had the honor of being introduced to the old Marquis de B----.

In days of yore he had signalized himself by some small feats of chivalry in the Cour d'Amour, and had dressed himself out to the idea of tilts and tournaments ever since.The Marquis de B----wished to have it thought the affair was somewhere else than in his brain."He could like to take a trip to England," and asked much of the English ladies."Stay where you are, I beseech you, Monsieur le Marquis," said I."Les Messieurs Anglais can scarce get a kind look from them as it is." The marquis invited me to supper.

M.P----, the farmer-general, was just as inquisitive about our taxes.They were very considerable, he heard."If we knew but how to collect them," said I, making him a low bow.

I could never have been invited to M.P----'s concerts upon any other terms.

I had been misrepresented to Mme.de Q---- as an esprit--Mme.de Q----was an esprit herself; she burned with impatience to see me and hear me talk.I had not taken my seat before I saw she did not care a sou whether I had any wit or no.I was let in to be convinced she had.I call Heaven to witness I never once opened the door of my lips.