The Notch on the Ax and On Being Found Out
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第11章

Look out! Look out!' It stands waving to me.It rings my little bell--"I caught at that."Did it ring your bell yesterday evening when Iwas here, and you went to the door?"

"Twice."

"Why, see," said I, "how your imagination misleads you.My eyes were on the bell, and my ears were open to the bell, and if I am a living man, it did NOT ring at those times.No, nor at any other time, except when it was rung in the natural course of physical things by the station communicating with you."He shook his head."I have never made a mistake as to that yet, sir.I have never confused the spectre's ring with the man's.The ghost's ring is a strange vibration in the bell that it derives from nothing else, and I have not asserted that the bell stirs to the eye.I don't wonder that you failed to hear it.But I heard it.""And did the spectre seem to be there, when you looked out?""It WAS there."

"Both times?"

He repeated firmly: "Both times."

"Will you come to the door with me, and look for it now?"He bit his under lip as though he were somewhat unwilling, but arose.I opened the door, and stood on the step, while he stood in the doorway.There was the Danger-light.There was the dismal mouth of the tunnel.There were the high, wet stone walls of the cutting.There were the stars above them.

"Do you see it?" I asked him, taking particular note of his face.

His eyes were prominent and strained, but not very much more so, perhaps, than my own had been when I had directed them earnestly towards the same spot.

"No," he answered."It is not there."

"Agreed," said I.

We went in again, shut the door, and resumed our seats.I was thinking how best to improve this advantage, if it might be called one, when he took up the conversation in such a matter-of-course way, so assuming that there could be no serious question of fact between us, that I felt myself placed in the weakest of positions.

"By this time you will fully understand, sir," he said, "that what troubles me so dreadfully is the question, What does the spectre mean?"I was not sure, I told him, that I did fully understand.

"What is its warning against?" he said, ruminating, with his eyes on the fire, and only by times turning them on me."What is the danger? Where is the danger? There is danger overhanging somewhere on the Line.Some dreadful calamity will happen.It is not to be doubted this third time, after what has gone before.But surely this is a cruel haunting of ME.What can I do?"He pulled out his handkerchief, and wiped the drops from his heated forehead.

"If I telegraph Danger, on either side of me, or on both, I can give no reason for it," he went on, wiping the palms of his hands.

"I should get into trouble, and do no good.They would think I was mad.This is the way it would work,--Message: 'Danger! Take care!' Answer: 'What Danger? Where?' Message: 'Don't know.

But, for God's sake, take care!' They would displace me.What else could they do?"His pain of mind was most pitiable to see.It was the mental torture of a conscientious man, oppressed beyond endurance by an unintelligible responsibility involving life.

"When it first stood under the Danger-light," he went on, putting his dark hair back from his head, and drawing his hands outward across and across his temples in an extremity of feverish distress, "why not tell me where that accident was to happen,--if it must happen? Why not tell me how it could be averted,--if it could have been averted? When on its second coming it hid its face, why not tell me, instead, 'She is going to die.Let them keep her at home'? If it came, on those two occasions, only to show me that its warnings were true, and so to prepare me for the third, why not warn me plainly now? And I, Lord help me! A mere poor signal-man on this solitary station! Why not go to somebody with credit to be believed, and power to act?"When I saw him in this state, I saw that for the poor man's sake, as well as for the public safety, what I had to do for the time was to compose his mind.Therefore, setting aside all question of reality or unreality between us, I represented to him that whoever thoroughly discharged his duty must do well, and that at least it was his comfort that he understood his duty, though he did not understand these confounding Appearances.In this effort Isucceeded far better than in the attempt to reason him out of his conviction.He became calm; the occupations incidental to his post as the night advanced began to make larger demands on his attention: and I left him at two in the morning.I had offered to stay through the night, but he would not hear of it.

That I more than once looked back at the red light as I ascended the pathway, that I did not like the red light, and that I should have slept but poorly if my bed had been under it, I see no reason to conceal.Nor did I like the two sequences of the accident and the dead girl.I see no reason to conceal that either.

But what ran most in my thoughts was the consideration how ought Ito act, having become the recipient of this disclosure? I had proved the man to be intelligent, vigilant, painstaking, and exact;but how long might he remain so, in his state of mind? Though in a subordinate position, still he held a most important trust, and would I (for instance) like to stake my own life on the chances of his continuing to execute it with precision?

Unable to overcome a feeling that there would be something treacherous in my communicating what he had told me to his superiors in the Company, without first being plain with himself and proposing a middle course to him, I ultimately resolved to offer to accompany him (otherwise keeping his secret for the present) to the wisest medical practitioner we could hear of in those parts, and to take his opinion.A change in his time of duty would come round next night, he had apprised me, and he would be off an hour or two after sunrise, and on again soon after sunset.

I had appointed to return accordingly.