第16章

"Just wanted to have some fun kiddin', I guess.He might have dug up a dollar, anyhow.Now I've got to hurry up and get back to that gang of bum bed hunters before they all get preached to sleep."When Thomas reached the end of his two-mile walk he found the ranks of the homeless reduced to a squad of perhaps eight or ten.

He took the proper place of a newcomer at the left end of the rear rank.In a file in front of him was the young man who had spoken to him of hospitals and something of a wife and child.

"Sorry to see you back again," said the young man, turning to speak to him."I hoped you had struck something better than this.""Me?" said Thomas."Oh, I just took a run around the block to keep warm! I see the public ain't lending to the Lord very fast to-night."

"In this kind of weather," said the young man, "charity avails itself of the proverb, and both begins and ends at home."And the Preacher and his vehement lieutenant struck up a last hymn of petition to Providence and man.Those of the Bed Liners whose windpipes still registered above 32 degrees hopelessly and tunelessly joined in.

In the middle of the second verse Thomas saw a sturdy girl with wind-tossed drapery battling against the breeze and coming straight toward him from the opposite sidewalk."Annie!" he yelled, and ran toward her.

"You fool, you fool!" she cried, weeping and laughing, and hanging upon his neck, "why did you do it?""The Stuff," explained Thomas briefly."You know.But subsequently nit.Not a drop." He led her to the curb."How did you happen to see me?""I came to find you," said Annie, holding tight to his sleeve."Oh, you big fool! Professor Cherubusco told us that we might find you here.""Professor Ch-- Dont' know the guy.What saloon does he work in?""He's a clairvoyant, Thomas; the greatest in the world.He found you with the Chaldean telescope, he said.""He's a liar," said Thomas."I never had it.He never saw me have anybody's telescope.""And he said you came in a chariot with five wheels or something.""Annie," said Thoms solicitously, "you're giving me the wheels now.If I had a chariot I'd have gone to bed in it long ago.And without any singing and preaching for a nightcap, either.""Listen, you big fool.The Missis says she'll take you back.Ibegged her to.But you must behave.And you can go up to the house to-night; and your old room over the stable is ready.""Great!" said Thomas earnestly."You are It, Annie.But when did these stunts happen?""To-night at Professor Cherubusco's.He sent his automobile for the Missis, and she took me along.I've been there with her before.""What's the professor's line?"

"He's a clairvoyant and a witch.The Missis consults him.He knows everything.But he hasn't done the Missis any good yet, though she's paid him hundreds of dollars.But he told us that the stars told him we could find you here.""What's the old lady want this cherry-buster to do?""That's a family secret," said Annie."And now you've asked enough questions.Come on home, you big fool."They had moved but a little way up the street when Thomas stopped.

"Got any dough with you, Annie?" he asked.

Annie looked at him sharply.

"Oh, I know what that look means," said Thomas."You're wrong.

Not another drop.But there's a guy that was standing next to me in the bed line over there that's in bad shape.He's the right kind, and he's got wives or kids or something, and he's on the sick list.

No booze.If you could dig up half a dollar for him so he could get a decent bed I'd like it."Annie's fingers began to wiggle in her purse.

"Sure, I've got money," said she."Lots of it.Twelve dollars."And then she added, with woman's ineradicable suspicion of vicarious benevolence: "Bring him here and let me see him first."Thomas went on his mission.The wan Bed Liner came readily enough.As the two drew near, Annie looked up from her purse and screamed:

"Mr.Walter-- Oh--Mr.Walter!:

"Is that you, Annie?" said the young man meekly.

"Oh, Mr.Walter!--and the Missis hunting high and low for you!""Does mother want to see me?" he asked, with a flush coming out on his pale cheek.

"She's been hunting for you high and low.Sure, she wants to see you.She wants you to come home.She's tried police and morgues and lawyers and advertising and detectives and rewards and everything.And then she took up clearvoyants.You'll go right home, won't you, Mr.Walter?""Gladly, if she wants me," said the young man."Three years is a long time.I suppose I'll have to walk up, though, unless the street cars are giving free rides.I used to walk and beat that old plug team of bays we used to drive to the carriage.Have they got them yet?""They have," said Thomas, feelingly."And they'll have 'em ten years from now.The life of the royal elephantibus truckhorseibus is one hundred and forty-nine years.I'm the coachman.Just got my reappointment five minutes ago.Let's all ride up in a surface car--that is--er--if Annie will pay the fares."On the Broadway car Annie handed each one of the prodigals a nickel to pay the conductor.

"Seems to me you are mighty reckless the way you throw large sums of money around," said Thomas sarcastically.

"In that purse," said Annie decidedly, "is exactly $11.85.I shall take every cent of it to-morrow and give it to professor Cherubusco, the greatest man in the world.""Well," said Thomas, "I guess he must be a pretty fly guy to pipe off things the way he does.I'm glad his spooks told him where you could find me.If you'll give me his address, some day I'll go up there, myself, and shake his hand."Presently Thomas moved tentatively in his seat, and thoughtfully felt an abrasion or two on his knees and his elbows.

"Say, Annie," said he confidentially, maybe it's one of the last dreams of booze, but I've a kind of a recollection of riding in authomobile with a swell guy that took me to a house full of eagles and arc lights.He fed me on biscuits and hot air, and then kicked me down the front steps.If it was the _d t's_, why am I so sore?""Shut up, you fool," said Annie.

"If I could find that funny guy's house, said Thomas, in conclusion, "I'd go up there some day and punch his nose for him."