第4章

MAGDALEN--IN MODERN TIMES.

"WHEN your mother was alive were you ever out with her after nightfall in the streets of a great city?"In those extraordinary terms Mercy Merrick opened the confidential interview which Grace Roseberry had forced on her.Grace answered, simply, "I don't understand you.""I will put it in another way," said the nurse.Its unnatural hardness and sternness of tone passed away from her voice, and its native gentleness and sadness returned, as she made that reply."You read the newspapers like the rest of the world," she went on; "have you ever read of your unhappy fellow- creatures (the starving outcasts of the population) whom Want has driven into Sin?"Still wondering, Grace answered that she had read of such things often, in newspapers and in books.

"Have you heard--when those starving and sinning fellow-creatures happened to be women--of Refuges established to protect and reclaim them?"The wonder in Grace's mind passed away, and a vague suspicion of something painful to come took its place."These are extraordinary questions," she said, nervously."What do you mean?""Answer me," the nurse insisted."Have you heard of the Refuges? Have you heard of the Women?""Yes."

"Move your chair a little further away from me." She paused.Her voice, without losing its steadiness, fell to its lowest tones." I was once of those women," she said, quietly.

Grace sprang to her feet with a faint cry.She stood petrified--incapable of uttering a word.

" I have been in a Refuge," pursued the sweet, sad voice of the other woman." I have been in a Prison.Do you still wish to be my friend? Do you still insist on sitting close by me and taking my hand?" She waited for a reply, and no reply came."You see you were wrong," she went on, gently, "when you called me cruel--and I was right when I told you I was kind."At that appeal Grace composed herself, and spoke."I don't wish to offend you--" she began, confusedly.

Mercy Merrick stopped her there.

"You don't offend me," she said, without the faintest note of displeasure in her tone."I am accustomed to stand in the pillory of my own past life.I sometimes ask myself if it was all my fault.I sometimes wonder if Society had no duties toward me when I was a child selling matches in the street--when I was a hard-working girl fainting at my needle for want of food." Her voice faltered a little for the first time as it pronounced those words; she waited a moment, and recovered herself."It's too late to dwell on these things now," she said, resignedly."Society can subscribe to reclaim me; but Society can't take me back.You see me here in a place of trust--patiently, humbly, doing all the good I can.It doesn't matter! Here, or elsewhere, what I am can never alter what I was.For three years past all that a sincerely penitent woman can do I have done.It doesn't matter! Once let my past story be known, and the shadow of it covers me; the kindest people shrink."She waited again.Would a word of sympathy come to comfort her from the other woman's lips? No! Miss Roseberry was shocked; Miss Roseberry was confused."I am very sorry for you," was all that Miss Roseberry could say.

"Everybody is sorry for me," answered the nurse, as patiently as ever; "everybody is kind to me.But the lost place is not to be regained.I can't get back! I can't get back?" she cried, with a passionate outburst of despair--checked instantly the moment it had escaped her."Shall I tell you what my experience has been?" she resumed."Will you hear the story of Magdalen--in modern times?"Grace drew back a step; Mercy instantly understood her.

"I am going to tell you nothing that you need shrink from hearing," she said."A lady in your position would not understand the trials and the struggles that I have passed through.My story shall begin at the Refuge.The matron sent me out to service with the character that I had honestly earned--the character of a reclaimed woman.I justified the confidence placed in me; I was a faithful servant.One day my mistress sent for me--a kind mistress, if ever there was one yet.'Mercy, I am sorry for you; it has come out that I took you from a Refuge; I shall lose every servant in the house; you must go.' I went back to the matron--another kind woman.She received me like a mother.'We will try again, Mercy; don't be cast down.' I told you I had been in Canada?"Grace began to feel interested in spite of herself.She answered with something like warmth in her tone.She returned to her chair--placed at its safe and significant distance from the chest.

The nurse went on:

"My next place was in Canada, with an officer's wife: gentlefolks who had emigrated.More kindness; and, this time, a pleasant, peaceful life for me.I said to myself, 'Is the lost place regained? Have I got back?' My mistress died.New people came into our neighborhood.There was a young lady among them--my master began to think of another wife.I have the misfortune (in my situation) to be what is called a handsome woman; I rouse the curiosity of strangers.The new people asked questions about me; my master's answers did not satisfy them.In a word, they found me out.The old story again! 'Mercy, I am very sorry; scandal is busy with you and with me; we are innocent, but there is no help for it--we must part.' I left the place; having gained one advantage during my stay in Canada, which I find of use to me here.""What is it?"

"Our nearest neighbors were French-Canadians.I learned to speak the French language.""Did you return to London?"