第93章

SHOWING THAT AN ATTACK OF RHEUMATISM IN SOME CASES, ACTS AS A QUICKENER TO INVENTIVE GENIUST HE constitution of Mr.Pickwick, though able to sustain a very considerable amount of exertion and fatigue, was not proof against such a combination of attacks as he had undergone on the memorable night, recorded in the last chapter.The process of being washed in the night air, and rough-dried in a closet, is as dangerous as it is peculiar.

Mr.Pickwick was laid up with an attack of rheumatism.

But although the bodily powers of the great man were thus impaired, his mental energies retained their pristine vigour.His spirits were elastic;his good humour was restored.Even the vexation consequent upon his recent adventure had vanished from his mind; and he could join in the hearty laughter which any illusion to it excited in Mr.Wardle, without anger and without embarrassment.Nay, more.During the two days Mr.Pickwick was confined to his bed, Sam was his constant attendant.On the first, he endeavoured to amuse his master by anecdote and conversation; on the second, Mr.Pickwick demanded his writing-desk, and pen and ink, and was deeply engaged during the whole day.On the third, being able to sit up in his bedchamber, he despatched his valet with a message to Mr.Wardle and Mr.Trundle, intimating that if they would take their wine there, that evening, they would greatly oblige him.The invitation was most willingly accepted; and when they were seated over their wine, Mr.Pickwick with sundry blushes, produced the following little tale, as having been "edited" by himself, during his recent indisposition, from his notes of Mr.Weller's unsophisticated recital.

THE PARISH CLERK A TALE OF TRUE LOVE

"Once upon a time in a very small country town, at a considerable distance from London, there lived a little man named Nathaniel Pipkin, who was the parish clerk of the little town, and lived in a little house in the little High Street, within ten minutes' walk of the little church; and who was to be found every day from nine till four, teaching a little learning to the little boys.Nathaniel Pipkin was a harmless, inoffensive, good-natured being, with a turned-up nose, and rather turned-in legs: a cast in his eye, and a halt in his gait; and he divided his time between the church and his school, verily believing that there existed not, on the face of the earth, so clever a man as the curate, so imposing an apartment as the vestry-room, or so well-ordered a seminary as his own.Once, and only once, in his life, Nathaniel Pipkin had seen a bishop--a real bishop, with his arms in lawn sleeves, and his head in a wig.He had seen him walk, and heard him talk, at a confirmation, on which momentous occasion Nathaniel Pipkin was so overcome with reverence and awe, when the aforesaid bishop laid his hand on his head, that he fainted right clean away, and was borne out of church in the arms of the beadle.

"This was a great event, a tremendous era, in Nathaniel Pipkin's life, and it was the only one that had ever occurred to ruffle the smooth current of his quiet existence, when happening one fine afternoon, in a fit of mental abstraction, to raise his eyes from the slate on which he was devising some tremendous problem in compound addition for an offending urchin to solve, they suddenly rested on the blooming countenance of Maria Lobbs, the only daughter of old Lobbs, the great saddler over the way.Now, the eyes of Mr.Pipkin had rested on the pretty face of Maria Lobbs many a time and oft before, at church and elsewhere; but the eyes of Maria Lobbs had never looked so bright, the cheeks of Maria Lobbs had never looked so ruddy, as upon this particular occasion.No wonder then, that Nathaniel Pipkin was unable to take his eyes from the countenance of Miss Lobbs;no wonder that Miss Lobbs, finding herself stared at by a young man, withdrew her head from the window out of which she had been peeping, and shut the casement and pulled down the blind; no wonder that Nathaniel Pipkin, immediately thereafter, fell upon the young urchin who had previously offended, and cuffed and knocked him about, to his heart's content.All this was very natural, and there's nothing at all to wonder at about it.

"It is matter of wonder, though, that any one of Mr.Nathaniel's Pipkin retiring disposition, nervous temperament, and most particularly diminutive income, should from this day forth, have dared to aspire to the hand and heart of the only daughter of the fiery old Lobbs--of old Lobbs the great saddler, who could have bought up the whole village at one stroke of his pen, and never felt the outlay--old Lobbs, who was well known to have heaps of money, invested in the bank at the nearest market town--old Lobbs, who was reported to have countless and inexhaustible treasures, hoarded up in the little iron safe with the big key-hole, over the chimney-piece in the back parlours-old Lobbs, who it was well known, on festive occasions garnished his board with a real silver tea-pot, cream-ewer, and sugar-basin, which he was wont, in the pride of his heart, to boast should be his daughter's property when she found a man to her mind.I repeat it, to be matter of profound astonishment and intense wonder, that Nathaniel Pipkin should have had the temerity to cast his eyes in this direction.But love is blind:

and Nathaniel had a cast in his eye: and perhaps these two circumstances, taken together, prevented his seeing the matter in its proper light.