第178章
For this excellent woman, a glorious martyr of industry and maternal love, always fancied herself sinning: her conscience was incessantly tormented by the fear that she had committed some incomprehensible offence.This mild and courageous creature, who, after a whole life of devotion, ought to have passed what time remained to her in calm serenity of soul, looked upon herself as a great sinner, and lived in continual anxiety, doubting much her ultimate salvation.
"Father," said Frances, in a trembling voice, "I accuse myself of omitting my evening prayer the day before yesterday.My husband, from whom I had been separated for many years, returned home.The joy and the agitation caused by his arrival, made me commit this great sin."
"What next?" said the voice, in a severe tone, which redoubled the poor woman's uneasiness.
"Father, I accuse myself of falling into the same sin yesterday evening.
I was in a state of mortal anxiety, for my son did not come home as usual, and I waited for him minute after minute, till the hour had passed over."
"What next?" said the voice.
"Father, I accuse myself of having told a falsehood all this week to my son, by letting him think that on account of his reproaching me for neglecting my health, I had taken a little wine for my dinner--whereas I had left it for him, who has more need of it, because he works so much."
"Go on!" said the voice.
"Father, I accuse myself of a momentary want of resignation this morning, when I learned that my poor son was arrested; instead of submitting with respect and gratitude to this new trial which the Lord hath sent me--
alas! I rebelled against it in my grief--and of this I accuse myself."
"A bad week," said the priest, in a tone of still greater severity, "a bad week--for you have always put the creature before the Creator.But proceed!"
"alas, father!" resumed Frances, much dejected, "I know that I am a great sinner; and I fear that I am on the road to sins of a still graver kind."
"Speak!"
"My husband brought with him from Siberia two young orphans, daughters of Marshal Simon.Yesterday morning, I asked them to say their prayers, and I learned from them, with as much fright as sorrow, that they know none of the mysteries of our holy faith, though they are fifteen years old.
They have never received the sacrament, nor are they even baptized, father--not even baptized!"
"They must be heathens!" cried the voice, in a tone of angry surprise.
"That is what so much grieves me, father; for, as I and my husband are in the room of parents to these young orphans, we should be guilty of the sins which they might commit--should we not, father?"
"Certainly,--since you take the place of those who ought to watch over their souls.The shepherd must answer for his flock," said the voice.
"And if they should happen to he in mortal sin, father, I and my husband would be in mortal sin?"
"Yes," said the voice; "you take the place of their parents; and fathers and mothers are guilty of all the sins which their children commit when those sins arise from the want of a Christian education."
"Alas, father! what am I to do? I address myself to you as I would to heaven itself.Every day, every hour, that these poor young girls remain heathens, may contribute to bring about their eternal damnation, may it not, father?" said Frances, in a tone of the deepest emotion.
"Yes," answered the voice; "and the weight of this terrible responsibility rests upon you and your husband; you have the charge of souls!"
"Lord, have mercy upon me!" said Frances weeping.
"You must not grieve yourself thus," answered the voice, in a softer tone; "happily for these unfortunates, they have met you upon the way.
They, will have in you and your husband good and pious examples--for I suppose that your husband, though formerly an ungodly person, now practices his religious duties!"
"We must pray for him, father," said Frances, sorrowfully; "grace has not yet touched his heart.He is like my poor child, who has also not been called to holiness.Ah, father!" said Frances, drying her tears, "these thoughts are my heaviest cross."
"So neither your husband nor your son practises," resumed the voice, in a tone of reflection; "this is serious--very serious.The religious education of these two unfortunate girls has yet to begin.In your house, they will have ever before them the most deplorable examples.
Take care! I have warned you.You have the charge of souls--your responsibility is immense!"
"Father, it is that which makes me wretched--I am at a loss what to do.
Help me, and give me your counsels: for twenty years your voice has been to me as the voice of the Lord."
"Well! you must agree with your husband to send these unfortunate girls to some religious house where they may be instructed."
"We are too poor, father, to pay for their schooling, and unfortunately my son has just been put in prison for songs that he wrote."
"Behold the fruit of impiety," said the voice, severely; "look at Gabriel! he has followed my counsels, and is now the model of every Christian virtue."
"My son, Agricola, has had good qualities, father; he is so kind, so devoted!"
"Without religion," said the voice, with redoubled severity, "what you call good qualities are only vain appearances; at the least breath of the devil they will disappear--for the devil lurks in every soul that has no religion."
"Oh! my poor son!" said Frances, weeping; "I pray for him every day, that faith may enlighten him."
"I have always told you," resumed the voice, "that you have been too weak with him.God now punishes you for it.You should have parted from this irreligious son, and not sanctioned his impiety by loving him as you do.
`If thy right hand offend thee, cut it off,' saith the Scripture."
"Alas, father! you know it is the only time I have disobeyed you; but I could not bring myself to part from my son."