第13章 A CAUTION TO TRAVELLERS(7)

The Major's gravity was quite upset at this absurd notion; and he laughed outrageously."Why, the fact is, sir," said I, "that my friend Pogson, knowing the value of the title of Captain, and being complimented by the Baroness on his warlike appearance, said, boldly, he was in the army.He only assumed the rank in order to dazzle her weak imagination, never fancying that there was a husband, and a circle of friends, with whom he was afterwards to make an acquaintance; and then, you know, it was too late to withdraw.""A pretty pickle you have put yourself in, Mr.Pogson, by making love to other men's wives, and calling yourself names," said the Major, who was restored to good humor."And pray, who is the honorable gent?""The Earl of Cinqbars' son," says Pogson, "the Honorable Tom Ringwood.""I thought it was some such character; and the Baron is the Baron de Florval-Delval?""The very same."

"And his wife a black-haired woman, with a pretty foot and ankle;calls herself Athenais; and is always talking about her trente-deux ans? Why, sir, that woman was an actress on the Boulevard, when we were here in '15.She's no more his wife than I am.Delval's name is Chicot.The woman is always travelling between London and Paris: I saw she was hooking you at Calais; she has hooked ten men, in the course of the last two years, in this very way.She lent you money, didn't she?" "Yes." "And she leans on your shoulder, and whispers, 'Play half for me,' and somebody wins it, and the poor thing is as sorry as you are, and her husband storms and rages, and insists on double stakes; and she leans over your shoulder again, and tells every card in your hand to your adversary, and that's the way it's done, Mr.Pogson.""I've been 'AD, I see I 'ave," said Pogson, very humbly.

"Well, sir," said the Major, "in consideration, not of you, sir--for, give me leave to tell you, Mr.Pogson, that you are a pitiful little scoundrel--in consideration for my Lord Cinqbars, sir, with whom, I am proud to say, I am intimate," (the Major dearly loved a lord, and was, by his own showing, acquainted with half the peerage,) "I will aid you in this affair.Your cursed vanity, sir, and want of principle, has set you, in the first place, intriguing with other men's wives; and if you had been shot for your pains, a bullet would have only served you right, sir.You must go about as an impostor, sir, in society; and you pay richly for your swindling, sir, by being swindled yourself: but, as I think your punishment has been already pretty severe, I shall do my best, out of regard for my friend, Lord Cinqbars, to prevent the matter going any farther; and I recommend you to leave Paris without delay.Now let me wish you a good morning."--Wherewith British made a majestic bow, and began giving the last touch to his varnished boots.

We departed: poor Sam perfectly silent and chapfallen; and Imeditating on the wisdom of the half-pay philosopher, and wondering what means he would employ to rescue Pogson from his fate.

What these means were I know not; but Mr.Ringwood did NOT make his appearance at six; and, at eight, a letter arrived for "Mr.Pogson, commercial traveller," &c.&c.It was blank inside, but contained his two bills.Mr.Ringwood left town, almost immediately, for Vienna; nor did the Major explain the circumstances which caused his departure; but he muttered something about "knew some of his old tricks," "threatened police, and made him disgorge directly."Mr.Ringwood is, as yet, young at his trade; and I have often thought it was very green of him to give up the bills to the Major, who, certainly, would never have pressed the matter before the police, out of respect for his friend, Lord Cinqbars.