第37章

``How DID you ever think of it?'' exclaimed Mildred.

``Go and teach school for ten years in a dull little town, my dear--and look in the glass every day and see your youth fading away--and you'll think of most anything.Well, to make a long story short, the old man took me in the buggy to his house where he lived with his deaf, half-blind old widowed daughter.I had to stay there three weeks.I married him the fourth week.And just two months to a day from the afternoon I sprained my ankle, he gave me fifty dollars a week--all signed and sealed by a lawyer--to go away and leave him alone.I might have stood out for more, but I was too anxious to get to New York.And here I am!'' She gazed about the well-furnished room, typical of that almost luxurious house, with an air of triumphant satisfaction.Said she: ``I've no patience with a woman who says she can't get on.Where's her brains?''

Mildred was silent.Perhaps it was a feeling of what was hazily in the younger woman's mind and a desire to answer it that led Mrs.Belloc to say further: ``Isuppose there's some that would criticize my way of getting there.But I want to know, don't all women get there by working men? Only most of them are so stupid that they have to go on living with the man.

I think it's low to live with a man you hate.''

``Oh, I'm not criticizing anybody,'' said Mildred.

``I didn't think you were,'' said Mrs.Belloc.``If I hadn't seen you weren't that kind, I'd not have been so confidential.Not that I'm secretive with anybody.

I say and do what I please.Anyone who doesn't like my way or me can take the other side of the street.

I didn't come to New York to go in society.I came here to LIVE.''

Mildred looked at her admiringly.There were things about Mrs.Belloc that she did not admire; other things--suspected rather than known things--that she knew she would shrink from, but she heartily admired and profoundly envied her utter indifference to the opinion of others, her fine independent way of walking her own path at her own gait.

``I took this boarding-house,'' Mrs.Belloc went on, ``because I didn't want to be lonesome.I don't like all--or even most of--the ladies that live here.But they're all amusing to talk with--and don't put on airs except with their men friends.And one or two are the real thing--good-hearted, fond of a joke, with-out any meanness.I tell you, New York is a mighty fine place if you get `in right.' Of course, if you don't, it's h-e-l-l.'' (Mrs.Belloc took off its unrefined edge by spelling it.) ``But what place isn't?'' she added.

``And your husband never bothers you?'' inquired Mildred.

``And never will,'' replied Mrs.Belloc.``When he dies I'll come into a little more--about a hundred and fifty a week in all.Not a fortune, but enough with what the boarding-house brings in.I'm a pretty fair business woman.''

``I should say so!'' exclaimed Mildred.

``You said you were Miss Stevens, didn't you?'' said Mrs.Belloc--and Mildred knew that her turn had come.

``Yes,'' replied she.``But I am also a married woman.'' She hesitated, reddened.``I didn't give you my married name.''

``That's your own business,'' said Mrs.Belloc in her easiest manner.``My right name isn't Belloc, either.

But I've dropped that other life.You needn't feel a bit embarrassed in this house.Some of my boarders SEEM to be married.All that have regular-appearing husbands SAY they are.What do I care, so long as everything goes along smoothly? I don't get excited about trifles.''

``Some day perhaps I'll tell you about myself,'' said Mildred.``Just at present I--well, I seem not to be able to talk about things.''

``It's not a bad idea to keep your mouth shut, as long as your affairs are unsettled,'' advised Mrs.Belloc.

``I can see you've had little experience.But you'll come out all right.Just keep cool, and don't fret about trifles.And don't let any man make a fool of you.That's where we women get left.We're afraid of men.We needn't be.We can mighty easily make them afraid of us.Use the soft hand till you get him well in your grip.Then the firm hand.Nothing coarse or cruel or mean.But firm and self-respecting.''

Mildred was tempted to take Mrs.Belloc fully into her confidence and get the benefit of the advice of shrewdness and experience.So strong was the temptation, she would have yielded to it had Mrs.Belloc asked a few tactful, penetrating questions.But Mrs.

Belloc refrained, and Mildred's timidity or delicacy induced her to postpone.The next day she wrote Stanley Baird, giving her address and her name and asking him to call ``any afternoon at four or five.'' She assumed that he would come on the following day, but the letter happened to reach him within an hour of her mailing it, and he came that very afternoon.

When she went down to the drawing-room to receive him, she found him standing in the middle of the room gazing about with a quizzical expression.As soon as the greetings were over he said:

``You must get out of here, Mildred.This won't do.''

``Indeed I shan't,'' said she.``I've looked everywhere, and this is the only comfortable place I could find--where the rates were reasonable and where the landlady didn't have her nose in everybody's business.''

``You don't understand,'' said he.``This is a bird-cage.Highly gilded, but a bird-cage.''

She had never heard the phrase, but she understood--and instantly she knew that he was right.She colored violently, sat down abruptly.But in a moment she recovered herself, and with fine defiance said:

``I don't care.Mrs.Belloc is a kind-hearted woman, and it's as easy to be respectable here as anywhere.''

``Sure,'' assented he.``But you've got to consider appearances to a certain extent.You won't be able to find the right sort of a boarding-house--one you'd be comfortable in.You've got to have a flat of your own.''

``I can't afford it,'' said Mildred.``I can't afford this, even.But I simply will not live in a shabby, mussy way.''