第34章

``Indeed it isn't,'' said her mother.``Mothers always have favorites among their children, and very often a mother dislikes one of her children.Of course she hides her feeling and does her duty.But all the same she can't help the feeling that is down in her heart.Ihad a presentiment before he was born that I wouldn't like him, and sure enough, I didn't.And he didn't like me, or his father, or any of us.''

``It would never occur to me to turn to him,'' said Mildred.

``Then you see that you've got to go back to the general.You can't get a divorce and alimony, for it was you that left him--and for no cause.He was within his rights.''

Mildred hesitated, confessed: ``I had thought of going back to him and acting in such a way that he'd be glad to give me a divorce and an allowance.''

``Yes, you might do that,'' said her mother.``Agreat many women do.And, after all, haven't they a right to? A lady has got to have proper support, and is it just to ask her to live with a man she loathes?''

``I haven't thought of the right or wrong of it,'' said Mildred.``It looks to me as though right and wrong have very little to do with life as it's lived.They're for hypocrites--and fools.''

``Mildred!'' exclaimed her mother, deeply shocked.

Mildred was not a little shocked at her own thoughts as she inspected them in the full light into which speech had dragged them.``Anyhow,'' she went on, ``I soon saw that such a plan was hopeless.He's not the man to be trifled with.Long before I could drive him to give me a living and let me go he would have driven me to flight or suicide.''

Her mother had now had time to reflect upon Mildred's revelations.Aided by the impressions she herself had gotten of the little general, she began to understand why her daughter had fled and why she would not return.

She felt that the situation was one which time alone could solve.Said she: ``Well, the best thing is for you to stay on here and wait until he makes some move.''

``He'll have me watched--that's all he'll do,'' said Mildred.``When he gets ready he'll divorce me for deserting him.''

Mrs.Presbury felt that she was right.But, concealing her despondency, she said: ``All we can do is to wait and see.You must send for your luggage.''

``I've nothing but a large bag,'' said Mildred.``Ichecked it in the parcel-room of the New York station.''

Mrs.Presbury was overwhelmed.How account to Hanging Rock for the reappearance of a baggageless and husbandless bride? But she held up bravely.

With a cheerfulness that did credit to her heart and showed how well she loved her daughter she said: ``We must do the best we can.We'll get up some story.''

``No,'' said Mildred.``I'm going back to New York.You can tell people here what you please--that I've gone to rejoin him or to wait for him--any old thing.''

``At least you'll wait and talk with Presbury,''

pleaded her mother.``He is VERY sensible.''

``If he has anything to suggest,'' said Mildred, ``he can write it.I'll send you my address.''

``Milly,'' cried her mother, agitated to the depths, ``where ARE you going? WHAT are you going to do?

You look so strange--not at all like yourself.''

1

``You must be crazy!'' cried her mother.``You wouldn't do anything--and you couldn't.''

``Let's not discuss it, mamma,'' said the girl tranquilly.

The mother looked at her with eyes full of the suspicion one lady cannot but have as to the projects of another lady in such circumstances.

``Mildred,'' she said pleadingly, ``you must be careful.You'll find yourself involved in a dreadful scandal.

I know you wouldn't DO anything WRONG no matter how you were driven.But--''

``I'll not do anything FOOLISH, mamma,'' interrupted the girl.``You are thinking about men, aren't you?''

``Men are always ready to destroy a woman,'' said her mother.``You must be careful--''

Mildred was laughing.``Oh, mamma,'' she cried, ``do be sensible and do give me credit for a little sense.I've got a very clear idea of what a woman ought to do about men, and I assure you I'm not going to be FOOLISH.

And you know a woman who isn't foolish can be trusted where a woman who's only protected by her principles would yield to the first temptation--or hunt round for a temptation.''

``But you simply can't go to New York and live there all alone--and with nothing!''

``Can I stay here--for more than a few days?''

``But maybe, after a few days--'' stammered her mother.

``You see, I've got to begin,'' said Mildred.``So why delay? I'd gain nothing.I'd simply start Hanging Rock to gossiping--and start Mr.Presbury to acting like a fiend again.''

Her mother refused to be convinced--was the firmer, perhaps, because she saw that Mildred was unshakable in her resolve to leave forthwith--the obviously sensible and less troublesome course.They employed the rest of Mildred's three hours' stop in arguing--when Mildred was not raging against the little general.Her mother was more than willing to assist her in this denunciation, but Mildred preferred to do it all herself.

She had--perhaps by unconsciously absorbed training from her lawyer father--an unusual degree of ability to see both sides of a question.When she assailed her husband, she saw only her own side; but somehow when her mother railed and raved, she began to see another side--and the sight was not agreeable.She wished to feel that her husband was altogether in the wrong;she did not wish to have intruded upon her such facts as that she had sold herself to him--quite in the customary way of ladies, but nevertheless quite shamelessly --or that in strict justice she had done nothing for him to entitle her to a liberal money allowance or any allowance at all.

On the train, going back to New York, she admitted to herself that the repulsive little general had held strictly to the terms of the bargain--'' but only a devil and one with not a single gentlemanly instinct would insist on such a bargain.'' It took away much of the shame, and all of the sting, of despising herself to feel that she was looking still lower when she turned to despising him.