The Secret Sharer
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第13章

Now that all action was over and his fate taken out of his hands with unexpected swiftness, Mr Verloc felt terribly empty physically.He carved the meat, cut the bread, and devoured his supper standing by the table, and now and then casting a glance towards his wife.Her prolonged immobility disturbed the comfort of his reflection.He walked again into the shop, and came up very close to her.This sorrow with a veiled face made Mr Verloc uneasy.He expected, of course, his wife to be very much upset, but he wanted her to pull herself together.He needed all her assistance and all her loyalty in these new conjunctures his fatalism had already accepted.

`Can't be helped,' he said in a tone of gloomy sympathy.`Come, Winnie, we've got to think of tomorrow.You'll want all your wits about you after I am taken away.'

He paused.Mrs Verloc's breast heaved convulsively.This was not reassuring to Mr Verloc, in whose view the newly created situation required from the two people most concerned in it calmness, decision, and other qualities incompatible with the mental disorder of passionate sorrow.Mr Verloc was a humane man; he had come home prepared to allow every latitude to his wife's affection for her brother.Only he did not understand either the nature or the whole extent of that sentiment.And in this he was excusable, since it was impossible for him to understand it without ceasing to be himself.He was startled and disappointed, and his speech conveyed it by a certain roughness of tone.

`You might look at a fellow,' he observed after waiting a while.

As if forced through the hands covering Mrs Verloc's face the answer came, deadened, almost pitiful.

`I don't want to look at you as long as I live.'

`Eh? What!' Mr Verloc was merely startled by the superficial and literal meaning of this declaration.It was obviously unreasonable, the mere cry of exaggerated grief.He threw over it the mantle of his marital indulgence.

The mind of Mr Verloc lacked profundity.Under the mistaken impression that the value of individuals consists in what they are in themselves, he could not possibly comprehend the value of Stevie in the eyes of Mrs Verloc.She was taking it confoundedly hard, he thought to himself.It was all the fault of that damned Heat.What did he want to upset the woman for? But she mustn't be allowed, for her own good, to carry on so till she got quite beside herself.

`Look here! You can't sit like this in the shop,' he said with affected severity, in which there was some real annoyance; for urgent practical matters must be talked over if they had to sit up all night.`Somebody might come in at any minute,' he added, and waited again.No effect was produced, and the idea of the finality of death occurred to Mr Verloc during the pause.He changed his tone.`Come.This won't bring him back,' he said, gently, feeling ready to take her in his arms and press her to his breast, where impatience and compassion dwelt side by side.But except for a short shudder Mrs Verloc remained apparently unaffected by the force of that terrible truism.It was Mr Verloc himself who was moved.He was moved in his simplicity to urge moderation by asserting the claims of his own personality.

`Do be reasonable, Winnie.What would it have been if you had lost me?'

He had vaguely expected to hear her cry out.But she did not budge.

She leaned back a little, quieted down to a complete, unreadable stillness.

Mr Verloc's heart began to beat faster with exasperation and something resembling alarm.He laid his hand on her shoulder, saying:

`Don't be a fool, Winnie.'

She gave no sign.It was impossible to talk to any purpose with a woman whose face one cannot see.Mr Verloc caught hold of his wife's wrists.

But her hands seemed glued fast.She swayed forward bodily to his tug, and nearly went off the chair.Startled to feel her so helplessly limp, he was trying to put her back on the chair when she stiffened suddenly all over, tore herself out of his hands, ran out of the shop, across the parlour and into the kitchen.This was very swift.He had just a glimpse of her face and that much of her eyes that he knew she had not looked at him.

It all had the appearance of a struggle for the possession of a chair, because Mr Verloc instantly took his wife's place in it.Mr Verloc did not cover his face with his hands, but a sombre thoughtfulness veiled his features.A term of imprisonment could not be avoided.He did not wish now to avoid it.A prison was a place as safe from certain unlawful vengeances as the grave, with this advantage, that in prison there is room for hope.

What he saw before him was a term of imprisonment, an early release, and then life abroad somewhere, such as he had contemplated already, in case of failure.Well, it was a failure, if not exactly the sort of failure he had feared.It had been so near success that he could have positively terrified Mr Vladimir out of his ferocious scoffing with this proof of occult efficiency.So at least it seemed now to Mr Verloc.His prestige with the Embassy would have been immense if - if his wife had not had the unlucky notion of sewing on the address inside Stevie's overcoat.Mr Verloc, who was no fool, had soon perceived the extraordinary character of the influence he had over Stevie though he did not understand exactly its origin - the doctrine of his supreme wisdom and goodness inculcated by two anxious women.In all the eventualities he had foreseen Mr Verloc had calculated with correct insight on Stevie's instinctive loyalty and blind discretion.

The eventuality he had not foreseen had appalled him as a humane man and a fond husband.From every other point of view it was rather advantageous.