第78章 At Shaston(13)

Some days passed,and the evening of their last meal together had come -a cloudy evening with wind -which indeed was very seldom absent in this elevated place.How permanently it was imprinted upon his vision;that look of her as she glided into the parlour to tea;a slim flexible figure;a face,strained from its roundness,and marked by the pallors of restless days and nights,suggesting tragic possibilities quite at variance with her times of buoyancy;a trying of this morsel and that,and an inability to eat either.Her nervous manner,begotten of a fear lest he should be injured by her course,might have been interpreted by a stranger as displeasure that Phillotson intruded his presence on her for the few brief minutes that remained.

'You had better have a slice of ham or an egg,or something with your tea?You can't travel on a mouthful of bread and butter.'

She took the slice he helped her to;and they discussed as they sat trivial questions of housekeeping,such as where he would find the key of this or that cupboard,what little bills were paid,and what not.

'I am a bachelor by nature,as you know,Sue,'he said,in a heroic attempt to put her at her ease.'So that being without a wife will not really be irksome to me,as it might be to other men who have had one a little while.I have,too,this grand hobby in my head of writing 'The Roman Antiquities of Wessex,'which will occupy all my spare hours.'

'If you will send me some of the manu to copy at any time,as you used to,I will do it with so much pleasure!'she said with amenable gentleness.'I should much like to be some help to you still -as a -friend.'

Phillotson mused,and said:'No,I think we ought to be really separate,if we are to be at all.And for this reason,that I don't wish to ask you any questions,and particularly wish you not to give me information as to your movements,or even your address....Now,what money do you want?

You must have some,you know.'

'Oh,of course,Richard,I couldn't think of having any of your money to go away from you with!I don't want any either.I have enough of my own to last me for a long while,and Jude will let me have --'

'I would rather not know anything about him,if you don't mind.

You are free,absolutely;and your course is your own.'

'Very well.But I'll just say that I have packed only a change or two of my own personal clothing,and one or two little things besides that are my very own.I wish you would look into my trunk before it is closed.Besides that I have only a small parcel that will go into Jude's portmanteau.'

'Of course I shall do no such thing as examine your luggage!Iwish you would take three-quarters of the household furniture.I don't want to be bothered with it.I have a sort of affection for a little of it that belonged to my poor mother and father.But the rest you are welcome to whenever you like to send for it.'

'That I shall never do.'

'You go by the six-thirty train,don't you?It is now a quarter to six.'

'You ...You don't seem very sorry I am going,Richard!'

'Oh no -perhaps not.'

'I like you much for how you have behaved.It is a curious thing that directly I have begun to regard you as not my husband,but as my old teacher,I like you.I won't be so affected as to say I love you,because you know I don't,except as a friend.But you do seem that to me!'

Sue was for a few moments a little tearful at these reflections,and then the station omnibus came round to take her up.Phillotson saw her things put on the top,handed her in,and was obliged to make an appearance of kissing her as he wished her good-bye,which she quite understood and imitated.From the cheerful manner in which they parted the omnibus-man had no other idea than that she was going for a short visit.

When Phillotson got back into the house he went upstairs and opened the window in the direction the omnibus had taken.Soon the noise of its wheels died away.He came down then,his face compressed like that of one bearing pain;he put on his hat and went out,following by the same route for nearly a mile.Suddenly turning round he came home.

He had no sooner entered than the voice of his friend Gillingham greeted him from the front room.

'I could make nobody hear;so finding your door open I walked in,and made myself comfortable.I said I would call,you remember.'

'Yes.I am much obliged to you,Gillingham,particularly for coming to-night.'

'How is Mrs.--'

'She is quite well.She is gone -just gone.That's her tea-cup,that she drank out of only an hour ago.And that's the plate she -'Phillotson's throat got choked up,and he could not go on.He turned and pushed the tea-things aside.

'Have you had any tea,by the by?'he asked presently in a renewed voice.

'No -yes -never mind,'said Gillingham,preoccupied.'Gone,you say she is?'

'Yes....I would have died for her;but I wouldn't be cruel to her in the name of the law.She is,as I understand,gone to join her lover.

What they are going to do I cannot say.Whatever it may be she has my full consent to.'

There was a stability,a ballast,in Phillotson's pronouncement which restrained his friend's comment.'Shall I -leave you?'he asked.

'No,no.It is a mercy to me that you have come.I have some articles to arrange and clear away.Would you help me?'

Gillingham assented;and having gone to the upper rooms the schoolmaster opened drawers,and began taking out all Sue's things that she had left behind,and laying them in a large box.'She wouldn't take all I wanted her to,'he continued.'But when I made up my mind to her going to live in her own way I did make up my mind.'

'Some men would have stopped at an agreement to separate.'

'I've gone into all that,and don't wish to argue it.I was,and am,the most old-fashioned man in the world on the question of marriage -in fact I had never thought critically about its ethics at all.But certain facts stared me in the face,and I couldn't go against them.'

They went on with the packing silently.When it was done Phillotson closed the box and turned the key.

'There,'he said.'To adorn her her somebody's eyes;never again in mine!'