第4章 青葱象牙塔(1)
1 Questions Before Examination
Professor：Before we begin the examination，are there any questions？
Student：What's the name of this course？
考前问题
教授：“在我们开始考试之前，还有什么问题吗？”
学生：“这门课的名称是什么？”
2 History Repeats Itself
One student in my world‐history class asked our professor，"Is it true that history repeats itself？"
"Indeed，sir."came the reply，"Particularly if you flunk it."
历史重演
我的世界史班里的一个学生问我们的教授：“历史会重演，这是真的吗？”
“的确如此，先生，”教授答道。“尤其是在你考试不及格这个问题上。”
3 What Is Courage
The philosophy final exam had many blank pages for the answer to one question，"What is courage？"
Most of us gave examples and expounded theories.But one of my classmates turned in his essay with just two words on it-"THIS IS."
He got an A.
什么是勇气
哲学考试时发了好多空白纸，只让回答：“什么是勇气？”
大多数学生又是举例，又是详论，但我的一个同班同学在卷子上只写了一句话--“这就是。”
他得了个优。
4 0ur Tails
The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly three hours，then he started again，and said ，"Let me ask the evolutionist a question-if we had tails like a baboon，where are they？"
"I'll venture an answer."said a girl."We have worn them off sitting here so long."
我们的尾巴
教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快三个小时。他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题--如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？”
“我来试试看，”一位女同学说，“该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。”
5 The Proof
When my classmate was a teacher's assistant for a philosophy course，the professor instructed the students to write a short answer to the question，"What proof do you have of your existence？"
As my roommate read through the responses，she found this one，"I pay tuition；therefore I am."
证据
我的同学担任哲学课助教时，教授要求学生们简答“你有什么证据证明自己的存在？”这个问题。
同学在批阅那些答案时，发现有一个是这样写的：“我交学费，故我存在。”
6 Humorous Teacher
One of my favorite teachers at university was known for his droll sense of humor.
Explaining his basic rules to one freshman class.he said，"I know my lectures can often be dry and boring，so I don't mind if you look at your watches during the class.I do，however，object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they're still running."
幽默的老师
我非常喜欢的一名大学老师以滑稽幽默而出名。
在对一个新生班讲他的基本原则时，他说：“我知道我的课常常会枯燥乏味，所以如果你们在上课时看表，我不会介意。不过，我坚决反对你们把表摔打在课桌上，看它们是不是还在走。”
7 The Absent‐minded Professor
An absent‐minded professor was lecturing on anatomy.
"To show you more clearly what I mean，I have here a parcel with a dissected pigeon.I want you to examine it very carefully."
The professor unwrapped the parcel and saw that it contained two sandwiches and a hardboiled egg.Astonished，the professor said，"I was sure I had eaten my lunch，but where is the Pigeon？"
粗心的教授
一位粗心的教授正在上解剖课。
“为了让你们更清楚地理解我所讲的内容，这个包里有一只解剖了的鸽子，你们要仔细地观察。”
教授打开包，里面竟是两个三明治和一个熟鸡蛋。教授十分惊讶：“我肯定是已经吃过午饭了，可是那只鸽子哪儿去了呢？”
8 Open‐book Exam
On the day of our final exam，we heard that the bookstore had changed its policy and would buy back our political textbooks.Before class，several of us dashed over to the store and sold our books.
We were seated in the class and waiting for the test when our professor announced that，considering the difficulty of the final，it would be an open‐book exam.
开卷考试
期末考试那天，我们听说书店改变政策，要回收我们的政治课本。上课前，我们几个人就跑到书店把书给卖了。
我们在班里坐下来，等着考试，这时我们的教授宣布说，考虑到期末考试的难度，要开卷考试。
9 College Girl
Heading off to college at the age of 30，I was a bit self‐conscious about my advancing years.One morning I complained to my husband that I was the oldest student in my class.
"Even the teacher is younger than I am，"I said.
"Yeah，but look at it from my point of view，"he said optimistically，"I thought my days of fooling around with college girls were over."
女大学生
我三十岁时才上大学，对自己的年纪不禁有些难为情。一天早晨，我对丈夫抱怨说自己是班上年龄最大的学生。
“连老师都比我年轻。”我说。
“是的，不过从我的角度来看，”他乐呵呵地说道，“我真没想到自己现在还能和女大学生约会呢。”
10 Preparing for the Final Examination
The professor was delivering the final lecture of the term.He dwelt with much emphasis on the fact each student should devote all the intervening time preparing for the final examinations."The examination papers are now in the hands of the printer.Are there any questions to be asked？"
There was a silence.Jack asked，"Who is the printer？"
准备期末考试
教授在上学期的最后一堂课。他着重强调说，每个学生应当把所有这段空余时间都用在准备期末考试上。
“试卷现在在印卷人的手里。有什么问题要问吗？”
随后是一阵沉默。杰克问道：“印卷人是谁？”
11 Learning for Practice
"What's the usual tip？"the man growled when a college boy delivered his pizza.
"Well，"the student replied，"this is my first delivery，but the other guys said that if I got three dollars，I'd be doing great."
"Is that so？"grunted the man，"In that case，here's six dollars."
"Thanks，"the student said，"I'll put it in my college fund."
"By the way，what are you studying？"
"Applied Psychology."
学以致用
“通常的小费是多少？”一名大学生给他送来比萨饼时，那个人大声吼道。
“噢，”那个学生回答说，“这是我第一次送外卖，但别人说如果我能从你那里得到3美元，就很了不起了。”
“是这样吗？”那个人咕哝说，“这样的话，给你6美元。”
“谢谢，”那个学生说，“我要把这钱投入我的大学费用。”
“顺便问一下，你是学什么的？”
“应用心理学。”
12 A Dollar per Point
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.He handed out all of the papers and went back to his desk to wait.As soon as the test was over，the students all handed the papers back in.The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his paper with a note saying"A dollar per point."
The next class the professor handed the marked papers back out.This student got back his test and $58 change.
一元换一分
一天，一位教授要对学生进行一次大考。他把所有试卷都发了下去，然后回到讲台上等待。考试一结束，学生们都交了卷。这时，教授发现有一个学生在试卷里夹了一张100美元的钞票和一张纸条，上面写着：“一元换一分。”
第二次上课时，教授把批改过的试卷发了下去。这个学生拿到了自己的试卷和58美元的找零。
13 Gravity
Our marketing class at Florida Atlantic University was discussing an elevator company that sold its products world‐wide.
The professor had listed on the blackboard some forces influencing the company's operations，including political climate，currency restrictions and import quotas.When he asked if anyone could name other forces that would have an impact on an international elevator company，a voice from the back called out，"Gravity."
地心引力
我们佛罗里达州大西洋大学的市场营销班正在讨论产品销往全世界的一家电梯公司的案例。
教授在黑板上列举了影响该公司运作的一些力量，包括政治气候、货币限额和进口配额。当他问还有什么力量能影响一家国际性电梯公司时，后面一个声音喊道：“地心引力。”