第46章 BOOK THE SECOND：THE GOLDEN THREAD(29)

He had loved Lucie Manette from the hour of his danger. He had never heard a sound so sweet and dear as the sound of her compassionate voice；he had never seen a face so tenderly beautiful，as hers when it was confronted with his own on the edge of the grave that had been dug for him.But，he had not yet spoken to her on the subject；the assassination at the deserted chateau far away beyond the heaving water，and the long，long，dusty roads—the solid stone chateau which had itself become the mere mist of a dream—had been done a year，and he had never yet，by so much as a single spoken word，disclosed to her the state of his heart.

That he had his reasons for this，he knew full well. It was again a summer day when，lately arrived in London from his college occupation，he turned into the quiet corner in Soho，bent on seeking an opportunity of opening his mind to Doctor Manette.It was the close of the summer day，and he knew Lucie to be out with Miss Pross.

He found the Doctor reading in his armchair at a window. The energy which had at once supported him under his old sufferings and aggravated their sharpness，had been gradually restored tohim.He was now a very energetic man indeed，with great firmness of purpose，strength of resolution，and vigour of action.In his recovered energy he was sometimes a little fitful and sudden，as he had at first been in the exercise of his other recovered faculties；but，this had never been frequently observable，and had grown more and more rare.

He studied much，slept little，sustained a great deal of fatigue with ease，and was equably cheerful. To him，now entered Charles Darnay，at sight of whom he laid aside his book and held out his hand.

'Charles Darnay！I rejoice to see you. We have been counting on your return these three or four days past.Mr.Stryver and Sydney Carton were both here yesterday，and both made you out to be more than due.'

'I am obliged to them for their interest in the matter，'he answered，a little coldly as to them，though very warmly as to the Doctor.'Miss Manette—'

'Is well，'said the Doctor，as he stopped short，'and your return will delight us all. She has gone out on some household matters，but will soon be home.'

'Doctor Manette，I knew she was from home. I took the opportunity of her being from home，to beg to speak to you.'

There was a blank silence.

'Yes？'said the Doctor，with evident constraint.'Bring your chair here，and speak on.'

He complied as to the chair，but appeared to find the speaking on less easy.

'I have had the happiness，Doctor Manette，of being so intimate here，'so he at length began，'for some year and a half，that I hopethe topic on which I am about to touch may not—'He was stayed by the Doctor's putting out his hand to stop him. When he had kept it so a little while，he said，drawing it back：

'Is Lucie the topic？'

'She is.'

'It is hard for me to speak of her at any time. It is very hard for me to hear her spoken of in that tone of yours，Charles Darnay.'

'It is a tone of fervent admiration，true homage，and deep love，Doctor Manette！'he said deferentially.

There was another blank silence before her father rejoined：

'I believe it. I do you justice；I believe it.'

His constraint was so manifest，and it was so manifest，too，that it originated in an unwillingness to approach the subject，that Charles Darnay hesitated.

'Shall I go on，sir？'

Another blank.

'Yes，go on.'

'You anticipate what I would say，though you can not know how earnestly I say it，how earnestly I feel it，without knowing my secret heart，and the hopes and fears and anxieties with which it has long been laden. Dear Doctor Manette，I love your daughter fondly，dearly，disinterestedly，devotedly.If ever there were love in the world，I love her.You have loved yourself；let your old love speak for me！'

The Doctor sat with his face turned away，and his eyes bent on the ground. At the last words，he stretched out his hand again，hurriedly，and cried：

'Not that，sir！Let that be！I adjure you，do not recall that！'

His cry was so like a cry of actual pain，that it rang in CharlesDarnay's ears long after he had ceased. He motioned with the hand he had extended，and it seemed to be an appeal to Darnay to pause.The latter so received it，and remained silent.

'I ask your pardon，'said the Doctor，in a subdued tone，and after some moments.'I do not doubt your loving Lucie；you may be satisfied of it.'

He turned towards him in his chair，but did not look at him，or raise his eyes. His chin dropped upon his hand，and his white hair overshadowed his face：

'Have you spoken to Lucie？'

'No.'

'Nor written？'

'Never.'

'It would be ungenerous to affect not to know that your self-denial is to be referred to your consideration for her father. Her father thanks you.'

He offered his hand；but his eyes did not go with it.