第58章

This was spoken jestingly，but it appeared to her so just a picture of Mr. Darcy，that she would not trust herself with an answer；and，therefore，abruptly changing the conversation，talked on indifferent matters till they reached the parsonage.There，shutinto her own room，as soon as their visitor left them，she could think without interruption of all that she had heard.It was not to be supposed that any other people could be meant than those with whom she was connected.There could not exist in the world two men，over whom Mr.Darcy could have such boundless influence.That he had been concerned in the measures taken to separate Mr.Bingley and Jane，she had never doubted；but she had always attributed to Miss Bingley the principal design and arrangement of them.If his own vanity，however，did not mislead him，he was the cause，his pride and caprice were the cause of all that Jane had suffered，and still continued to suffer.He had ruined for a while every hope of happiness for the most affectionate，generous heart in the world；and no one could say how lasting an evil he might have inflicted.

'There were some very strong objections against the lady，'were Colonel Fitzwilliam's words，and these strong objections probably were，her having one uncle who was a country attorney，and another who was in business in London.

'To Jane herself，'she exclaimed，'there could be no possibility of objection. All loveliness and goodness as she is！Her understanding excellent，her mind improved，and her manners captivating.Neither could any thing be urged against my father，who，though with some peculiarities，has abilities which Mr.Darcy himself need not disdain，and respectability which he will probably never reach.'When she thought of her mother indeed，her confidence gave way a little，but she would not allow that any objections there had material weight with Mr.Darcy，whose pride，she was convinced，would receive a deeper wound from the want of importance in his friend's connections，than from their want ofsense；and she was quite decided at last，that he had been partly governed by this worst kind of pride，and partly by the wish of retaining Mr.Bingley for his sister.

The agitation and tears which the subject occasioned，brought on a headach；and it grew so much worse towards the evening that，added to her unwillingness to see Mr. Darcy，it determined her not to attend her cousins to Rosings，where they were engaged to drink tea.Mrs.Collins，seeing that she was really unwell，did not press her to go，and as much as possible prevented her husband from pressing her，but Mr Collins could not conceal his apprehension of Lady Catherine's being rather displeased by her staying at home.

XI

W hen they were gone，Elizabeth，as if intending to exasperate herself as much as possible against Mr. Darcy，chose for her employment the examination of all the letters which Jane had written to her since her being in Kent.They contained no actual complaint，nor was there any revival of past occurrences，or any communication of present suffering.But in all，and in almost every line of each，there was a want of that cheerfulness which had been used to characterize her style，and which，proceeding from the serenity of a mind at ease with itself，and kindly disposed towards every one，had been scarcely ever clouded.Elizabeth noticed every sentence conveying the idea of uneasiness，with an attention which it had hardly received on the first perusal.Mr.Darcy's shameful boast of what misery he had been able to inflict，gave her a keener sense of her sister's sufferings.It was some consolation to think that his visit to Rosings was to end on the day after the next，and a still greater，that in less than a fortnight she should herself be with Jane again，and enabled to contribute to the recovery of her spirits，by all that affection could do.

She could not think of Darcy's leaving Kent，without remembering that his cousin was to go with him；but Colonel Fitzwilliam had made it clear that he had no intentions at all，and agreeable as he was，she did not mean to be unhappy about him.

While settling this point，she was suddenly roused by the sound of the door bell，and her spirits were a little fluttered by the idea ofits being Colonel Fitzwilliam himself，who had once before called late in the evening，and might now come to enquire particularly after her. But this idea was soon banished，and her spirits were very differently affected，when，to her utter amazement，she saw Mr.Darcy walk into the room.In an hurried manner he immediately began an enquiry after her health，imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better.She answered him with cold civility.He sat down for a few moments，and then getting up walked about the room.Elizabeth was surprised，but said not a word.After a silence of several minutes he came towards her in an agitated manner，and thus began，

'In vain have I struggled. It will not do.My feelings will not be repressed.You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.'

Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression. She stared，coloured，doubted，and was silent.This he considered sufficient encouragement，and the avowal of all that he felt and had long felt for her，immediately followed.He spoke well，but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed，and he was not more eloquent on the subject of tenderness than of pride.His sense of her inferiority—of its being a degradation—of the family obstacles which judgment had always opposed to inclination，were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to the consequence he was wounding，but was very unlikely to recommend his suit.