第5章 少年生活(4)

There was another and still more important reason for my late awakening.In my boyhood Isuffered from a peculiar affliction due to the appearance of images,often accompanied by strong flashes of light,which marred the sight of real objects and interfered with my thought and action.They were pictures of things and scenes which Ihad really seen,never of those Iimagined.When a word was spoken to me the image of the object it designated would present itself vividly to my vision and sometimes Iwas quite unable to distinguish whether what Isaw was tangible or not.This caused me great discomfort and anxiety.None of the students of psychology or physiology whom Ihave consulted could ever explain satisfactorily these phenomena.They seem to have been unique altho Iwas probably predisposed as Iknow that my brother experienced a similar trouble.The theory Ihave formulated is that the images were the result of a reflex action from the brain on the retina under great excitation.They certainly were not hallucinations such as are produced in diseased and anguished minds,for in other respects Iwas normal and composed.To give an idea of my distress,suppose that Ihad witnessed a funeral or some such nerve-racking spectacle.Then,inevitably,in the stillness of night,a vivid picture of the scene would thrust itself before my eyes and persist despite all my efforts to banish it.Sometimes it would even remain fixt in space tho Ipushed my hand thru it.If my explanation is correct,it should be able to project on a screen the image of any object one conceives and make it visible.Such an advance would revolutionize all human relations.Iam convinced that this wonder can and will be accomplished in time to come;Imay add that Ihave devoted much thought to the solution of the problem.

To free myself of these tormenting appearances,Itried to concentrate my mind on something else Ihad seen,and in this way Iwould of ten obtain temporary relief;but in order to get it Ihad to conjure continuously new images.It was not long before Ifound that Ihad exhausted all of those at my command;my "reel"had run out,as it were,because Ihad seen little of the world-only objects in my home and the immediate surroundings.As Iperformed these mental operations for the second or third time,in order to chase the appearances from my vision,the remedy gradually lost all its force.Then Iinstinctively commenced to make excursions beyond the limits of the small world of which Ihad knowledge,and Isaw new scenes.These were at first very blurred and indistinct,and would flit away when Itried to concentrate my attention upon them,but by and by Isucceeded in fixing them;they gained in strength and distinctness and finally assumed the concreteness of real things.Isoon discovered that my best comfort was attained if Isimply went on in my vision farther and farther,getting new impressions all the time,and so Ibegan to travel-of course,in my mind.Every night (and sometimes during the day),when alone,Iwould start on my journeys-see new places,cities and countries-live there,meet people and make friendships and acquaintances and,however unbelievable,it is a fact that they were just as dear to me as those in actual life and not a bit less intense in their manifestations.

This Idid constantly until Iwas about seventeen when my thoughts turned seriously to invention.Then Iobserved to my delight that Icould visualize with the greatest facility.Ineeded no models,drawings or experiments.Icould picture them all as real in my mind.Thus Ihave been led unconsciously to evolve what Iconsider a new method of materializing inventive concepts and ideas,which is radically opposite to the purely experimental and is in my opinion ever so much more expeditious and efficient.

The moment one constructs a device to carry into practise a crude idea he finds himself unavoidably engrossed with the details and defects of the apparatus.As he goes on improving and reconstructing,his force of concentration diminishes and he loses sight of the great underlying principle.Results may be obtained but always at the sacrifice of quality.My method is different.Ido not rush into actual work.When Iget an idea Istart at once building it up in my imagination.Ichange the construction,make improvements and operate the device in my mind.It is absolutely immaterial to me whether Irun my turbine in thought or test it in my shop.Ieven note if it is out of balance.There is no difference whatever,the results are the same.In this way Iam able to rapidly develop and perfect a conception without touching anything.When Ihave gone so far as to embody in the invention every possible improvement Ican think of and see no fault anywhere,Iput into concrete form this final product of my brain.Invariably my device works as Iconceived that it should,and the experiment comes out exactly as Iplanned it.In twenty years there has not been a single exception.Why should it be otherwise?Engineering,electrical and mechanical,is positive in results.There is scarcely a subject that cannot be mathematically treated and the effects calculated or the results determined beforehand from the available theoretical and practical data.The carrying out into practise of a crude idea as is being generally done is,Ihold,nothing but a waste of energy,money and time.