第14章 Ways to Make People Like You(3)

For years I made it a point to find out the birthdays of myfriends. How? Although I haven’t the foggiest bit of faith inastrology， I began by asking the other party whether he believedthe date of one’s birth has anything to do with character anddisposition. I then asked him or her to tell me the month and dayof birth. I wrote down the name and birthday and later wouldtransfer it to a birthday book. What a hit it made！ I was frequentlythe only person on earth who remembered.

If we want to make friends， let’s greet people with animationand enthusiasm. When somebody calls you on the telephoneuse the same psychology. Say “Hello” in tones that bespeak howpleased you are to have the person call. Many companies traintheir telephone operatars to greet all callers in a tone of voice that radiates interest and enthusiasm. The caller feels the company isconcerned about them. Let’s remember that when we answer thetelephone tomorrow.

Showing a genuine interest in others not only wins friendsfor you， but may develop in its customers a loyalty to yourcompany. In an issue of the publication of the National Bank ofNorth America of New York， the following letter from MadelineRosedale， a depositor， was published：“I would like you to know how much I appreciate your staff.

Everyone is so courteous， polite and helpful. What a pleasure it is，after waiting on a long line， to have the teller greet you pleasantly.

“Last year my mother was hospitalized for five months.

Frequently I went to Marie Petrucello， a teller. She was concernedabout my mother and inquired about her progress.”

Is there any doubt that Mrs. Rosedale will continue to use thisbank?

C. M. Knaphle， Jr.， of Philadelphia had tried for years to sell fuelto a large chain-store organization. But the chain-store companycontinued to purchase its fuel from an out-of-town dealer andhaul it right past the door of Knaphle’s office. Mr， Knaphle madea speech one night before one of my classes， pouring out his hotwrath upon chain stores， branding them as a curse to the nation.

And still he wondered why he couldn’t sell them.

I suggested that he try different tactics. To put it briefly， thisis what happened. We staged a debate between members of thecourse on whether the spread of the chain store is doing thecountry more harm than good.

Knaphle， at my suggestion， took the negative side; he agreedto defend the chain stores， and then went straight to an executiveof the chain-store organization that he despised and said：“I amnot here to try to sell fuel. I have come to ask you to do me a favor.” He then told about his debate and said， “I have come toyou for help because I can’t think of anyone else who would bemore capable of giving me the facts I want. I’m anxious to winthis debate， and I’ll deeply appreciate whatever help you can giveme.”

Here is the rest of the story in Mr. Knaphle’s own words：I had asked this man for precisely one minute of his time. Itwas with that understanding that he consented to see me. AfterI had stated my case， he motioned me to a chair and talked tome for exactly one hour and forty-seven minutes. He called inanother executive who had written a book on chain stores. Hewrote to the National Chain Store Association and secured forme a copy of a debate on the subject. He feels that the chainstore is rendering a real service to humanity. He is proud ofwhat he is doing for hundreds of communities. His eyes fairlyglowed as he talked， and I must confess that he opened my eyesto things I had never even dreamed of. He changed my wholemental attitude.

As I was leaving， he walked with me to the door， put his armaround my shoulder， wished me well in my debate， and asked meto stop in and see him again and let him know how I made out.

The last words he said to me were： “Please see me again later inthe spring. I should like to place an order with you for fuel.”

To me that was almost a miracle. Here he was offering to buyfuel without my even suggesting it. I had made more headwayin two hours by becoming genuinely interested in him and hisproblems than I could have made in ten years trying to get himinterested in me and my product.

You didn’t discover a new truth， Mr. Knaphle， for a long timeago， a hundred years before Christ was born a famous old Roman poet， Publilius Syrus， remarked; “We are interested in otherswhen they are interested in us.”

A show of interest， as with every other principle of humanrelations， must be sincere. It must pay off not only for the personshowing the interest， but for the person receiving the attention. Itis a two-way street-both parties benefit.

Martin Ginsberg， who took our Course in Long Island NewYork， reported how the special interest a nurse took in himprofoundly affected his life：“It was Thanksgiving Day and I was ten years old. I was in awelfare ward of a city hospital and was scheduled to undergo majororthopedic surgery the next day. I knew that I could only lookforward to months of confinement， convalescence and pain. Myfather was dead; my mother and I lived alone in a small apartmentand we were on welfare. My mother was unable to visit me that day.

“As the day went on， I became overwhelmed with the feelingof loneliness， despair and fear. I knew my mother was home aloneworrying about me， not having anyone to be with， not havinganyone to eat with and not even having enough money to afford aThanksgiving Day dinner.

“The tears welled up in my eyes， and I stuck my head underthe pillow and pulled the covers over it， I cried silently， but oh sobitterly， so much that my body racked with pain.

“A young student nurse heard my sobbing and came over tome. She took the covers off my face and started wiping my tears.