第1章 做自己想做的人 (1)

You Will Be Master Of Yourself

What I'd Tell Myself If I Were 18 Again…如果我回到18岁我会对自己说

I like to joke that I am who I am today because I did everything wrong in my 20's. I've always been fearless， and it often got me in trouble. I wasn't afraid to start a business， borrow a bunch of money， or quit a well-paying job to travel the world.

At the same time， the fact that I took chances (and often failed) gave me the wisdom that I have today. Lessons learned through failure tend to be much more meaningful than lessons learned otherwise.

Now that I'm in my 30's， life is pretty good. While I haven't learned it all， I feel my head is screwed on straight enough that life is much less stressful. I've come into my own and built the foundation for a secure and prosperous future.

Even though things are going well， I often imagine what it would be like to go back into the past and teach myself what I know now. I know enough to be certain that I lost most of my twenties to a struggle with debt and poor decisions. If I had done things differently， maybe I could have been where I am now at age 22.

Could you imagine？ Self employed and almost financially independent at age 22？ No… not almost. My expenses were much less back then… I would have been financially free！

I know it doesn't do any good to ask what if. If I had known it all at age 22， I probably would have been a little cocky. Doing things the hard way seasoned my character. I like who I am and I wouldn't change a thing.

But what if…

What I'd Tell Myself at 18？

Sometimes I imagine that I'm in a fishing boat， thousands of miles away from the life I know， slowly drifting across a lake. As I recline at an uncomfortable angle created by the wood bench and aluminum hull， I glance over at the 18 year-old version of myself and upload my wisdom to him.

Here's what I say：

Don't be so Serious

Relax… You've got your whole life ahead of you. I know it can seem like the most important thing in the world is fighting the good fight， but don't let your life pass you by in the process. There'll be plenty of time for starting businesses， writing books， creating art， and solving the world's problems in your head.

It's impressive that you do those things at such a young age， but life is really about experiences. Above all， it's about sharing experiences with other people. Sometimes when you're all wrapped up in your own head， doing the things that you are determined to do， you miss a chance to connect with other people.

So take it easy. Have some fun. Do something crazy. Let loose. Call up some friends and share some great moments together.

Don't Be in Such a Hurry to Grow Up

A funny thing happens as you age： The older you get， the less of a hurry you're in. You'd think it would be the other way around： the less time you have， the more of a hurry you're in； but it's actually quite the opposite.

At 18， it seems like you have to rush everything before you get too old. You think you have to graduate college， get a good job， and get married before you turn 22， because (for some reason) you think 22 is old.

Don't take being young for granted！ Being a kid without responsibility is a thing of beauty. I know you don't appreciate it now， but you will when you're my age.

22 is just getting started！ In fact， life gets more enjoyable as you age. As you learn more about yourself and the world， it gets easier to enjoy what the world has to offer.

Your 20's are the perfect time to explore the world and experience new things. If you grow up before you turn 22， you'll have missed a perfect opportunity. Experiences at 18 are just not the same as when you're 25.

Travel， art， culture， sport， and adventure take on a whole new meaning when you have had some experience to build on. As you add layer upon layer， each experience is more rich than the last.

Choose Experience over Material Possessions

If you're ever faced with the choice of upgrading your lifestyle (an apartment by yourself， a new car， new clothes， etc.) or working less so you can experience more； chose the latter.

When I was your age， I thought I needed to have nice stuff so girls would like me. I ended up working so hard to pay for the stuff that I didn't have time to meet girls.

Working hard is for grown-ups. Be a kid for as long as you can， even if it means living with a roommate in a crappy apartment and riding your bike around town.

Besides， girls aren't going to like you for awhile anyway. What they really want is a man with a little confidence and life experience under his belt. Working too hard will just delay that process.

Be Confident

Oh yeah， you might as well get a head start on your confidence. Believe in yourself no matter what. Don't let self-doubt ruin your chance to meet a new girl or to try something new.

I know I just said that girls aren't going to like you anyway， but that's not entirely true. While you are accumulating the wisdom that comes with life experiences， your best shot is to project confidence.

Always act like you know what you're doing， even if you don't. The biggest turn-off for a girl is self-doubt. If she still doesn't like you， take it with grace and move on quickly.

Don't start doubting yourself if you get turned down. You're going to get turned down A LOT before you finally get the girl.

Don't Get Attached